What To Choose?

I am afraid to open my mouth. I'm terrified of what will happen if I do. Because frankly I don't know what I'll say, don't have the first clue about it. If I open my mouth, literally anything could come out.

Rachel has given me a choice. Go home by myself. Go home with her alone. Go home with one of the guys or both of the guys or all three of them at the same time.

And the rational part of me knows what the decision should be, because half of those options I am absolutely not ready for. Anything involving more than me and one other person is right out, would be far too much for me. Because bringing two people home would mean that I would be caught in the middle, the obvious object of desire for all three other parties involved.

Right now the thought of doing anything with one of them was overwhelming enough, the concept of taking on more than one at once was terrifying enough to be paralyzing.

I am well aware that bringing even one person home implies a certain something about what is going to happen tonight. I mean it's late, the bars are closed, and everyone here is grown up enough to understand what happens when two people go home together at the end of the night. There is an implication, and that implication is certainly not that everything will stay wholesome and chaste. Nor do I want it to.

My body is aching. The last few moments watching Jake and Rachel had set things into motion in me and now I could empathize with Rachel, because just like her Blake's stupidity had denied me the chance to finish and find my own personal satisfying end.

I had needs, needs that were currently calling out in me and threatening me, informing me that if I was an asshole enough to keep a good time from them, they'd be sure to have their ****.

Simply put: going home alone wasn't an option. Which meant that I needed to narrow things down.

"Emily?" Rachel asks, frustration at my hesitation clear in her voice.

But she's not the only one that's frustrated and frankly she put me into this position when she really didn't have to since she already took on the responsibility for the rest of the goddamn night so she can wait and I can snap right back at her, "I'm thinking."

Thinking and narrowing down my options. Looking over at her, enticing and beautiful and god she was remarkable.

Watching her fuck, first Blake and then Jake, was something that I will never forget. She had been glorious tonight. Fuck that, she'd been glorious all goddamn day with me and I could swear that I was almost starting to fall for her, even if something was telling me that I probably couldn't, shouldn't, and wouldn't.

But still the thought of wishing her a good night tonight was so far beyond the pale for me. I'd seen her body before, in glimpses and in more, and I wanted to witness it again. I wanted to cuddle up with her and whisper to her and unpack the whole damn days events and I wanted her to tell me that she was proud of me, that she was excited for my potential.

So the real question, then, is did I want anyone else there while we did that?

Blake was right out. Not only would he definitely make the whole damn night about him and not only would it be a massive boost to his ego, it was also something that he would hold over me. It felt too much like I was playing into his hands and his plan and besides I wasn't about to forgive him for putting me in this position in the first place, because his selfish touch was what distracted me and kept me from my climax in the end.

No. Fuck Blake. He didn't deserve the night of his dreams.

But Jake? That was a different story. Jake hadn't done anything wrong aside from pushing a little when I'd asked him to hold back but even then when I'd stopped him, he'd stopped. And maybe my metric for what a gentleman was is all fucked up but I couldn't discount that. Jake had, in fact, done nearly everything right and he probably did deserve a reward for that.

But would that reward be the night of his dreams?

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