What Lurks Beneath Kindness

Aaron lay wrapped in Luke’s arms as he slept, this was not how he planned for their evening to go. Again. He was starving but part of him didn’t want to wake Luke. He craned his neck behind him and saw the time was nearly midnight. Sarah should be home soon, what would she think if she saw them again? He traced a light circle over Luke’s hairless chest. Why would he sleep with him two nights in a row? The first night he was clearly drunk, tonight he had been careful not to drink more than the small half glass of wine he had several hours ago, even if that made him tipsy he should’ve been sober by the time the play was over. And he was experienced enough to know that the amount of water he drank during intermission and the cookies he had during the play should’ve soaked up or cleared out any **** by the time they got home. He got home. To his house. ‘He doesn’t live here. We’re not really dating.’ He reminded himself. ‘I can’t believe I told Ted we were.’ He sighed. In high school he was lucky if he could get a single girl interested in him at any one time, and now two men were clearly interested. ‘Three.’ He reminded himself, thinking of Brad with a twinge of guilt. He reminded himself he should not feel guilty as they were both men and even if he wasn’t datin-pretending to date Luke they couldn’t be together either as neither of the men seemed interested in men. Not that that mattered either. Once he could be free of being Erin he would be gone from their lives. Aaron frowned as he looked up at Luke, he really was hungry. Where was Sarah? It was close to midnight, no way she was still out with this random guy who was probably doing god knows what to a sweet innocent girl like her. “Babe! Ow.” Luke pulled Aaron’s hand away from his arm revealing the deep marks he accidentally left in his bicep with his nails.

“I’m sorry!”

“I’m fine.” He sat up, pulling his lover with him into a seated position in the bed. “Are you okay?”

“I’m just…hungry.”

“You want me to make you something?”

“I’m fine.”

“Are you sure? It’s no trouble, I know my way around a kitchen. I make a killer pancake too. If you’ve got chocolate chips or blueberries I can throw those in-

“I said I’m fine!” Aaron snapped.

“Okay.”

“Sorry, I’m just…”

“I know. It’s hard not to worry about your kid.”

“You hear so many stories and think why would you ever let them leave the house alone but if you don’t they have no life and they hate you but it’s better to have them hate you than to have them come home one night with a scar they’ll have to carry for the rest of their lives.”

“She’s gonna be okay. She’s a smart kid. Erin, you raised an amazing and kind young woman who won't take crap from anybody. I know that’s hard to accomplish these days. It’s a balancing act, I won't lie. Protect them when you can and teach them to be aware of their surroundings and trust their gut is all you really can do. Because if you don’t…” He became distinctly aware of the fact that Erin had fallen asleep still digging her nails into his arm. Instead of waking her he gently removed himself from her vice-like grip and slipped his pants on. Luke understood, he’d seen it too much. After long enough of being there after the fact it began to weigh on him in a way he’d never tell her about. But he’d also seen what happens when you lock a child away like Rapunzel. At best they’re completely unprepared for the world when they finally do enter into it, at worst…they never enter the world. Part of him wanted kids to carry on his legacy, teach them all the things he was taught, but the cop in him knew too much to allow himself to consider it long enough. Unclipping the hidden holster from the back of his pants he walked downstairs, made himself a coffee and sat in the recliner in the dark where he waited in the silent home, the only sound was the ticking of the wall clock in the dining room that now read midnight.

In an all night diner, not so far away, the glowing neon clock upon the wall read 10:45 while Sarah picked at the remains of a chocolate chip waffle the closest thing the diner had to an ice cream or root beer float even. “Feeling better?”

Sarah nodded, she was at least fed, taking care of at least one stress. “Thanks, I’ll get you back when I get paid next week.”

“Nah, no need for that.”

“No. There is.” Sarah sighed, she didn’t want to hurt his feelings but she also wanted to be clear, “I’m sure you’re a nice guy but I don’t want you to think this was a date.”

Ricky’s smile never faltered, “I know it wasn’t. I just don’t need or care about being paid back. My friends and I buy food or drinks for each other all the time. Doesn’t mean we’re dating.”

Sarah allowed herself to smile a moment before she ate a chocolate chip off of her plate, “Sounds like a good group of friends.”

“Yeah, well we’ve all been down on our luck at one point or the other so why not?”

“I don’t think I even had friends like that back home.”

“No?”

“Yeah. I had friends of course, a best friend even. But I don’t think we had each other’s backs like that.”

“You’re here now. You’ll find some amazing friends before you know it.”

“Not with my work schedule and having to help my mom out.” Sarah loved her mom but fighting with her every step of the way was getting exhausting. And it was obvious she was at least enjoying being with Luke and Brad…Ted was certainly an odd choice but she felt more to blame for that one than any other one. Her prank got a little out of hand admittedly but it did seem like sex was something she needed. It was an important part of life. It was a great way to release stress. Even if it was momentary. Last time Sarah had been with someone was over a year ago. As open as she was about sex she never considered herself one for one night stands but lately she felt that was the only option left. Either she’d have to keep whoever she brought home away from her mom or lie to someone she could potentially care about, both ideas left a bad taste in her mouth.

For the first time that evening Ricky frowned. He stood up and held his hand out to Sarah, “Come on.”

“What? Where?”

“I’m going to take you to meet some friends.”

“No thanks.”

Ricky sat back down, “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.” She lied.

“You see, part of acting is learning body language and you don’t seem very sure. If you say you don’t I won’t push it anymore but my friends are still having that after party and I know for sure there is still chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream in the freezer.”

Sarah thought about it, “I don’t know if I’m up for a party.”

“I say party, but really it’s closer to five people and some board games.”

“Wow, you guys are real nerds.”

“And proud.” He smiled, holding out his hand once more, “What do you say?” She rolled her eyes and took his hand.

They pulled into the apartment complex a little after eleven. There were six complexes total and it seemed like a fair amount of them were up late and throwing their own parties. Sarah hesitated for a moment as they climbed the steps, Ricky stopped and faced her. “Hey, if you change your mind we can go somewhere else. I can take you home if you’d like.” He said softly not wanting her to feel pressured to stay out of not disappointing him.

Sarah **** a smile, “I’m fine. Really.”

“You sure?”

“Sure.” She nodded and climbed the stairs ahead of Ricky.

Inside they were greeted with cheerful smiles, “Rick! You made it!” A large guy who looked like Harry Potter if he did nothing but bench press the Dursley’s towered over Ricky. They clapped hands and the bigger man pulled Ricky into him with a half hug.

“Chase, this is Sarah, Sarah this giant is Chase.”

“Don’t let him fool ya, I’m much smaller than I look on tv.”

Sarah smiled nervously as the introductions continued, besides Chase there was Nat, Colin, and Alan, they all seemed like very kind people but she still felt out of place. Sure enough they all sat around a large table and were playing a complicated looking board game. While someone was explaining the rules a bowl of ice cream was placed in front of her, she hadn’t even realized Rick had gotten up let alone made her a bowl of ice cream. “As promised.” He smiled.

“Thank you.” She smiled and dug into the ice cream while half listening to the rules.

Back home all her friends were people she already knew, it was easy to make friends with people she knew half her life, but these were total strangers who she never saw before tonight. She wasn’t someone prone to anxiety but she could feel her pulse racing now. She thought about her mother’s funeral and how many people came to pay their respects, tell stories, laugh, smile, cry, and how empty the car ride home was afterwards. She had to drive her dad home because he was practically catatonic as he clung to their wedding photo. He was there beside her…but she was alone. “Hey.” Her uncle Jack was the only one who could really snap her dad out of the state he was in and ever since it had just been the two of them. “Hey.” Natalie, the only girl there, nudged, “You okay?”

“Yeah.” She lied.

“You’re not driving are you?”

“I think Ricky’s taking me home.” Natalie handed Sarah a beer. “Thanks.” She unscrewed the cap and took a sip. It was god awful and she spit it out into a fake ficus, thinking it was some cruel prank.

“You okay?!” Everyone asked.

“Don’t like beer?” Nat asked.

“I guess not.” She coughed, hoping the next one would end her life before she embarrassed herself further.

“For the love of Roa don’t start her on an IPA!” Chase shouted as he stood up and grabbed another beer from the fridge, this one had a colorful label with dancing apples. He handed it to Sarah, “Here, you’ll probably like this one better. It’s fruitier and a lot less bitter tasting.”

Nat took the first bottle back and began to drink that one down. Sarah opened the new beer and cautiously sniffed it, it did indeed smell fruity. Taking a sip she waited for the same terrible taste she had before, only it never came. It tasted like drinking an apple but there was definitely a kick to it that she felt safe in assuming was ****.

Eventually Sarah joined in the board game now that she got to see how it was played it actually sounded interesting, unfortunately she didn’t do very well but after her fifth beer she didn’t care. And no one else appeared to be taking the game seriously either. She wasn’t sure what time it was anymore when the games ended and she just started chatting with the group, listening to their fun stories, sharing her own. Ricky, she found out, had a knack for storytelling and voices which she found impressive.

Around one o’clock she and Ricky sat on the couch watching a movie. She wasn’t paying any attention to the movie though because she was too busy staring at him. He was actually cute now that she saw him in the right light. If she were to have a one night stand…she could do a lot worse. “Heeeey, Ricky.”

He shuddered as he turned to face her, “I told you only my nana calls me Ricky. It’s just R-” Sarah suddenly kissed Rick on the lips. He lost his balance and fell back against the armrest of the couch while she aggressively kissed him. Sarah wasn’t sure how long their kiss lasted as she slid one hand under his shirt but she felt his hands on her stomach and suddenly she was lifted up and falling off of the couch.

When she recomposed herself she saw Ricky sitting on the couch, his nails digging into his legs. “Are you okay?”

“I think I fell.” Sarah started to climb back on the couch and noticed Rick scoot further away from her.

“Do you want me to take you home?”

“Okay?”

“Come on.”

Rick was confusingly silent as he drove Sarah home. He kept handing Sarah water after water insisting she drink up as much as she could as it would help sober her up but she didn’t want to be sober. She had been enjoying the freedom of being drunk for the first time. But now, as she drank down her third bottle of water, she couldn’t help but feel like she did something wrong. And while she wasn’t sure if she liked Ricky or he was just…there, she didn’t want to have hurt him and he think she didn’t care. “Ricky?”

“Yeah?” He sighed. He hated when anyone called him Ricky. He only was okay with his nana doing it because she raised him.

“Did I do something bad?”

“No. Keep drinking.”

“...I’m sorry.” She said in a small voice. She had actually been enjoying spending time with Rick and his friends but felt like whatever she did would mean she’d never get to see any of them again.

“For what?”

“You look sad. I like when you smile. I think I broke it and I’m sorry.”

“No you didn’t. That happened years ago.”

“What did?”

“Not important.”

“It is.” She insisted. “I want you to smile again!”

“I will. If you keep drinking.” He raised the bottle to her lips and she drank as much of it down as she could.

After a few minutes of silent driving Sarah spoke again, “I have to pee.”

Ten minutes and one stop at a gas station bathroom later, Rick helped Sarah out of his car and to the front door. “Okay, okay. Easy does it.” He propped her up against the wall while he opened her purse to find her keys in the dark.

“Uh-oh.” Sarah said as she slid to the ground, knocking over a potted plant and breaking it, drunken Sarah simply laid in the potting soil like a pillow.

“Shh, come on. You can’t sleep here. Damn you’re a lightweight.” Rick propped Sarah up again as he kept checking for the house keys. “If I had some light I could find these things faster.” An overhead light turned on and Rick saw the keys glinting underneath a pad. “Oh…” He looked up and saw Luke towering over him, with an unhappy scowl on his face. “Hey.”

“What is it you think you’re doing?”

“She had too much to drink and I was trying to get her home safely.” Rick held his breath as Luke examined the situation. Her clothes weren’t ripped or torn or even removed, just dirty from the soil, the boy was clearly sober. He wasn’t afraid judging from his body language. He certainly wasn’t that talented of an actor to fool a trained veteran. “You’re lucky. I believe you.”

“Thanks?” His heart skipped a beat as he heard the sound of a gun uncocked. Glancing back at the large man he now realized he only wore the dress pants he saw earlier, a small glock in one hand that he was placing into a holster of the other. He hadn’t even heard him cock it in the first place, and Rick realized Sarah’s dad was ready and obviously willing to shoot him if he hadn’t believed him. Clipping the holster to his side Luke picked Sarah up easily. “Hmm. Dad?”

“Let’s get you to bed.” He said gently.

“I miss mom.”

“Your mom is asleep, but she’ll see you in the morning.”

“Really?” He nodded as he carried the frail girl up the stairs. “I…I had a bad dream. She died.”

“That would be terrible.” Poor girl, he thought, first she loses her father it’s not a wonder to think she would be afraid of losing her mother in a similar fashion.

“But…she’s okay?!” She asked excitedly.

“She’s in her room sleeping right now.”

“Can I go see her?”

Standing at Sarah’s door he thought briefly about letting her see her mother, but he was sure she was still naked and didn’t want to embarrass either of them, “In the morning. You can talk to her in the morning.”

Sarah felt her father carrying her to bed. Something he hadn’t been able to do since fifth grade. And something she hadn’t let him do since fourth. So either he was massively stronger than she last remembered, or this too was a dream. “Okay. Can you tell her something before I wake up again?”

“Sure.” He placed her on the side of her bed very carefully.

“Tell her I love her?”

“Of course.”

As he was pulling her covers back she wrapped her arms around Luke’s broad shoulders. “I love you too, Dad.” She whispered before actually falling asleep. It was strange how different her dream image of her dad was from the real thing. It must be left over from when she was a child and she thought he was a superhero. Luke laid the sleeping girl down into her bed before covering her up and leaving.

Back downstairs Luke found Rick still waiting by the front door, “Is she okay?”

“She’ll be fine. She’s a tough kid.”

“Good.”

“Yeah,” Luke walked Rick to the door, “You want to be an actor or something right?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s nice. I thought about being an actor when I was a kid. But I followed in my dad’s footsteps so I’m just a former army ranger and I’m currently an officer of the law. I’ve seen a lot of **** and **** survivors after the fact, if I ever find out you lied to me, if she so much as hints that you did do more than drive her home. I’ll **** feed you your feet. Understand?”

“Y-yeah.”

“Yes, sir.” He corrected.

“Yes, sir.” Rick repeated.

“Good. You seem like a good kid with a bright future, don’t make me feed you your own feet.”

Rick swallowed hard, “S-sir. I would never inflict anything as horrible as that on someone else.”

“I know, kid. That’s the only reason I’m not cleaning your skull off of the front porch right now.” The room fell into an awkward silence as the two men stared at each other. “Good night, Ricky.”

“Good night, sir.”

Before he rejoined his girlfriend in bed he stopped in the kitchen and took four aspirin and filled a small cup with water and took it to Sarah’s room, setting it on her nightstand beside her bed. “Good night, kid.”