Welcome to the Bazaar

Gil opened his eyes, and he was in a familiar snowy field. He took a deep breath of the cold air and looked around. The same old familiar path led towards the stone structure, built into the side of a mountain, where the patrons of the Bazaar went to relax and speak informally.

There were four stepped pyramids around him, each with a sign draped over the entrance. Once, they had been administrative buildings for a war effort, and then they’d become education and training centers, and after that they were little replicas of the Company itself for a time. Now, they were meeting places for people looking to buy or sell specific types of goods.

Next to Gil, a very surprised Rose slowly relaxed. She could tell at a glance that he was completely at ease, even if she didn’t recognize anyone else around. They wore all sorts of clothes, ranging from jeans and a tee shirt, to skintight silicone bodysuits, to several layers of pelts poorly sewn together.

“Gil!” She said, “where the hell are we?”

“A safe place. Welcome to the Bazaar, Rose.” He said, smiling. “If all goes well, you’ll come to love this place too, especially after we part ways.”

“What the devil are you saying?” She asked, “Are you drunk?”

“Not yet, and unfortunately I don’t think it’s in the budget.” His eyes twinkled as he started down the path. “Come on, let’s see who is around.”

“What is it that you needed to talk to me about?” Rose said, “I would certainly enjoy some leisure, but you caught me at a bad time. I’m supposed to go out on patrol in a few minutes. I tried to earn a ribbon, but I’m not sure if it actually worked and the Director of the PRT has started watching me closely.”

“Ouch. Well, it worked, so don’t worry about that one anymore.” Gil checked his tablet as he walked. He had five hours to kill, if he wanted. “Don't worry about time. It won’t pass while you’re here, and you’ll go right back home like nothing happened. Take a nap after we speak, if you’d like. There are bunks in the back for exactly that.”

The two entered into the old dwarven structure, finding a huge mead hall warmed by roaring bonfires that never went out. It was a far more crowded place than the snowy field outside, with more than half of the people in the pocket plane choosing to stay here more often than not. Gil exchanged casual waves with several people, but he waved most of them off. He was here to chat with the new girl, and for all they knew he was taking a time out from a life or **** situation.

“Mead, and toss in a lemonade too, eh?” Gil said to one of the busty barmaids that manned the hall. “What do you want, Rose? Anything? I could get you a menu if you’d like, but we’ve added a lot over the years.”

“Coffee?” Rose asked, and the barmaid nodded and started to turn around.

“Hey, if you hear of anyone who’s selling World War Two era weaponry, could you send them my way?” Gil asked, and got a curtsy in reply. He turned to Rose.

“Alright, I know you’d like an explanation, but if you’d like we can start with business while we wait for our drinks.” Gil said. “How is Brockton treating you?”

“They are running me ragged.” Rose said, wrinkling her nose with distaste. “I have been reliably informed that Wards are only supposed to be working for eight hours a day, at most, but twelve is far more commonly expected in the current environment. More is common.”

“You’re in a war zone, Rose.” He said, shrugging. “Did you want me to come get you? I can, if you’d like, though I would really appreciate it if you could finish your assignment first. How is Vista’s seduction going?”

“I’ve slept with her in her dreams more than once, but alas she retains her preference for men.” Rose admitted. “I’ve seeded her mind with images of you a few times, but I hope you recognize that is not as pleasant as taking her for myself.”

“You can enter her dreams?” Gil asked, curious.

The two of them exchanged an abbreviated version of one another’s situations and resources, generally hashing out their next steps before going any further. Gil let her know to keep an eye out for powers in a can, but she was unfortunately mystified at the concept.

“As far as I knew, powers came from some kind of horrific event.” Rose explained, “I got mine when my… when Lily’s sister tried to **** her.”

“That doesn’t bode well.” Gil said, scratching his chin, “usually, if there is a painful but natural way to get powers, the artificial stuff has some serious side effects. Might not be as useful as I’d hoped.”

As they spoke, Gil ate a quick steak sandwich and started scanning the lounges for people that he knew well. He intended to buy and sell, obviously, but he didn’t often get a chance to meet up with old friends. It was nearly impossible to make a bad trade at The Bazaar, so people preferred to swap with old friends.

Anyone he focused on would flicker through a number of faces in his eyes, taking on all the forms he had known them in. Generally, at that point he would be quick to greet them and ask what they had for sale, then answer in kind.

“I’ve got an expense account as a quest reward,” he smugly told one young blonde human boy, “and a way to convert tier ones into more generally useful assets.”

“And good company, too.” Kevin said, giving Rose a once over. “Lucky; I’ve been spending two days as some kid, and I’m pretty sure that my house is going to get robbed tomorrow. No real entertainment except for old movies.”

“Childhood is a bitch, yeah.” Gil said sympathetically. “Is this a quick gauntlet, or are you living the life?”

“What are you talking about?” Rose demanded, “You keep spouting gibberish.”

“Oh, you’ve got a live one. Sorry, Miss.” Kevin laughed. “Honestly I didn’t know if you were worth addressing; Gil here thinks with his dick as often as not, and sometimes he brings in people that are just there to look pretty.”

The boy held out a hand to shake, which she responded to skeptically.

“Rose is shaping up to be a pretty good hand.” Gil said proudly. “Operates independently, got into the spirit of things quick. I’ll probably put her up for promotion if she’s interested. Kevin here is a lot older than he looks. He’s a blonde kid from the nineties in the same way you’re a superhero in the twenty tens. We used to be on a team, though I can’t for the life of me remember what the hell he did.”

“Ah.” Rose said, cocking her head. “I see.”

“Gil isn’t the easiest person to impress, even if his mind does get wiped practically every test.” Kevin said, “Anyway, it seems like the men upstairs were planning around this one day, but I might be here longer. The movie had at least one sequel, you know?”

“You’re lucky too, knowing the plot.” Gil said, “I’m running blind. I half expect to end up getting myself killed by some kind of outside context problem. Do you happen to know what Lerasium is?”

The three kept chatting for a few more minutes, catching up on their respective lives. He’d first known this tester in a similar context to Rose, an ally he’d added to his retinue and kept around because he was useful. Gil vaguely remembered a series of heists, though he couldn’t remember whether they had been robbing dragons, aliens, or commies. Since then, the being currently known as Kevin McAllister had found his niche trying to break his tests with oddball strategies.

“Seriously, I don’t know why they let me have access to the Bazaar.” Kevin laughed. “Sure, they restrict trading, but any trading at all makes this way too easy. Leaving on Everlasting Talent is one thing, I’m only gonna be here a little while and I’m a kid anyway, but the orb? What are they thinking?”

“So… here to buy a shotgun?” Gil guessed.

“Nah, they aren’t that dumb. ” Kevin said, starting to count on his fingers. “No weapons, no magic, and no retinue members with the combatant, supernatural, or humanoid tags. I’m looking around for things I can jury rig into traps. Get into the spirit of the thing.”

Gil’s eyes lit up. He whipped out his tablet and checked his second most recent acquisition.

“Oh, oh hell yes.” He said, “I’ve got exactly what you need. You said you’ve got everlasting, right? What about sharing?”

Everlasting Talent was a popular option, favored by many testers. Simply put, it made the tester, and usually anyone they “owned,” eternal youth and immunity to the fog of ages. They could generally still be killed, of course, but neither their bodies nor minds would break down. If they were already elderly when captured, Everlasting Talent would even turn back the clock to their prime.

“Sure, they didn’t remove sharing this time.” Kevin said, “What is it?”

“I’ve got a borderline useless companion. A geriatric wolf, basically on life support.” Gil said, a grin growing on his face, “right now, she doesn’t even have the combatant tag since she can barely walk without her symbiote, and she has no intrinsic abilities other than being unusually smart for an animal.”

Kevin gave a devilish smile of his own.

“Oh my gosh.” He said, “so I get the wolf, then the eternal youth kicks in… let’s see if they let it happen. I’m in the mood for a new family pet.”

Gil tapped his tablet against a pad of paper Kevin pulled out of his pocket. He entered the trade menu, and waited for the automated system to assess the wolf’s value. Trade was heavily regulated in the Bazaar, with different testing environments banning large swathes of items and weighing the value of various things differently.

As a general rule, no tester would be allowed to help a friend by making obviously uneven trades. That caused problems, but fewer than one might think. Every item was given a value assessment based on how valuable it was in its home world, which could be very exploitable. Gil’s healing leaves, for example, were valued at around the same price as a sword despite one being a miraculous healing item in any nonmagical setting and the other being a sharpened steel bar you could find some variant of in almost any setting.

The system, clunky and exploitable as it was, was still incredibly vital to how things worked here. The only real, universally fungible currency was Company Credits. Unfortunately, one credit was worth way more than most things people brought in. Even the least valuable items Gil had gotten from a gacha were equivalent in value to a hundred dollars or more. In those rare tests with an unrestricted shop, you could buy one of a few hundred live in fuck maids for a single credit. That made trading small, cheap items somewhat clunky.

“The automated system doesn’t think much of her.” Kevin said hopefully, checking his readouts, “Mom is going to be pretty angry if half her jewelry goes missing; how do you feel about rice and dried beans? I used a lot of my cash on groceries, you know?”

“You’ve got a deal, my boy.” Gil said, holding out his hand for a high five.

Each of them marked out what they would give. Kevin added a few items from his mom’s jewelry box, then added boxes of pasta, rice, and beans until the exchange was declared legal. At that point, they each confirmed and the trade was finalized.

“Alright. Thanks; this is going to be hilarious.” Kevin said, pocketing his pad, “So, you said you were looking for modern firearms earlier, right?”

“Yeah, I’ve got an elf I’ve trained into a World War 2 veteran.” Gil said, as if that were a perfectly normal thing to have. “She’s an ok shot with her bow, but…”

“So you want to go Gate on it.” Kevin said, “I’ve got you.”

“Uh..?” Gil said, “Gate?”

“An anime where a bunch of elves get modern weapons“ Kevin said, “Sorry, forgot you got a block put in. Anyway, try parlor 23. VanCleef just started a new test and I think she’s in charge of some kinda paramilitary organization now. You’ll probably be able to get plenty with those credits. Bye now; I’ve got to get back before they notice Terra here is getting younger.”

••••••••••

Gil led Rose into down the hall to the room labeled “23.” Inside they found a charming little wood paneled room which smelled of coffee. Gil scanned the room, actively looking for his old acquaintance. He found her without too much trouble.

Because he was actively seeking, his eyes locked onto her as he’d first known her. Black hair in a short bob, red leather armor, and knives at her belt. Once he identified her, she shimmered. Her black hair ran gold and pulled back into a high bun, and the red armor became a sleeveless red dress.

https://postimg.cc/XpfQXQ7X

Gil was mildly amused to see her sitting on the back of a helmed man in black antiballistic body armor. He seemed content enough with his role as a chair, which meant he was either captured or an **** sub.

“Oh yeah.” Gil said with a chuckle, “definitely early in a test. Come on, Rose; I hope you know a bit about firearms because I’m gonna be flying blind there.”

••••••••••

Aaaand our poll for today is a simple one: What do we have Rose do when she gets back and what do we equip her with?

https://strawpoll.com/B2ZB9DJojgJ