We start with stars in our eyes, we start believing that we belong

Nick and Morgana parted from the twins at the gym. Things were still a little awkward, and if Morgana wanted to spend time with everybody today, they couldn’t hang out with just Carly and Marley.

“It was really good to spend time with you, even if it didn’t go so well,” Carly apologized again, hugging Morgana. But that hug couldn’t compare to the bear hug of a glomp that Marley gave her.

“Yeah, me and coordination, it’s not… yeah.” Morgana shook her head and sighed.

“Well, listen, I hope that you make it to the next round, I really do,” Carly said.

“And that goes double for me,” Marley nodded. “As someone who knows what it’s like to be eliminated, well… I got a good outcome, thanks to my mom. And I’m still trying to work through all the new memories, you know?”

Morgana nodded. She felt a little uneasy, but she **** a shaky smile onto her face.

“Well… okay, then,” she mumbled.

“…Are you going to vote for her, though?” Nick asked, dropping the elephant in the room on all of their heads. “You know, if you win, I mean?”

“I would, if I got a vote,” Marley said immediately. She glanced at Carly. “Carly…?”

Carly seemed a little less certain, and everyone could tell.

“I-I think so,” she said. “But… I’m not certain. Dani…”

Nick sighed. Of course. It would always come back to that.

“I’m sorry,” she anxiously continued. “But Dani seems like she’s in a really fragile spot, too… and a big part of that… it’s my fault. I don’t want her to get eliminated and slapped with some sort of transformation that would warp who she is completely. The two of us… we have our issues… we have stuff to resolve… and I’d like to resolve them, if I can.”

Nick winced. He understood the terrible position Carly was in. She wanted to help Morgana, she really did, but she wanted to help Dani, too. And she could only help one person.

In spite of Sylvia’s claims about trying to make everyone happy, trying to make him happy, this auditionee system she’d come up with was sadistic and cruel. Someone would always lose.

Morgana understood that perspective too. So she tried not to take that too personally.

“But, but… if Dani’s safe, if she wins or gets immunity, then I promise, I’ll vote for you!” Carly swore. “…You know, if I get ahead of Dawn, I mean.”

Dawn had a pretty good record when it came to competitions. She may not have placed very high in the first round, but in the two subsequent challenges, she’d surpassed both her buddies. In one of them, she’d even won the whole thing.

Carly, comparatively, had a much less impressive track record.

“Good luck,” Morgana said. “I hope you’re both safe from elimination.”

Her words sounded so genuine that for a second, everyone forgot how self-serving that hope was. Even Morgana.

“…Wait, wait, I didn’t mean it like-!”

“It’s fine,” Carly laughed, patting the frantic goth on the shoulder. “I totally understand. Thanks.”

Sighing in relief, Morgana headed off with Nick in tow, leaving Carly and Marley by themselves.

Marley was quick to turn on her twin. “So… you’re going to be fixing things with Dani, huh? Any reason you can’t go and do that right now?”

Carly winced. “I… I’m still not ready,” she admitted, holding her hand over her chest. “My feelings, they… I just don’t know.”

Carly couldn’t describe the sensations she was feeling right now. But they were frightening.

“Anyone in particular you want to talk to next?” Nick asked. He was still feeling guilty for how the situation with Carly had played out.

Morgana tensed, and shook her head. Similarly to Nick, because of how everything with Carly went down, she was feeling a little uncertain about going to speak to anybody in particular.

“I don’t know,” she admitted. Carly was one of the people she was closest to.

“Well… if it’s just about finding someone… I can think of one person who is pretty consistent to track down,” Nick said, flashing her a smile.

Morgana blinked. “Who?” She asked.

It was kind of a dumb question, really. After all, a certain somebody had a certain transformation that meant for the better part of a day, where she would be was set in stone.

Nick and Morgana entered the boutique Kim worked at, and were greeted with a bright smile.

“Oh, look who it is,” Kim grinned, leaning forward on the counter. “Nick and Morgana! How are you two doing? Got a hot date?”

“What?!” Morgana exclaimed, turning red. She squirmed a little, unable to hide her obvious delight at the idea.

“Something like that,” Nick said with a nod.

“WHAT?!” Morgana’s pale face turned completely scarlet. Then she realized Nick was teasing her, and she pouted. “Not funny!”

“Sorry, sorry,” Kim chuckled. “I just saw the two of you and I couldn’t help myself. So if you’re not on a date, what’s up? You just want to model some underwear again? You know he’s a married man now, right?”

“Doesn’t stop me from admiring,” Nick coolly replied, running an appreciative eye over Kim’s lingerie-clad figure. Kim leaned back and posed seductively, while Morgana once again felt like the third wheel of the group.

She cleared her throat.

“Sorry, my bad,” Nick apologized, remembering the whole point of this little expedition. “It’s a little too easy to get caught up in the flow of things.”

He kept remembering the flirty conversations he’d had with Kim back when she worked at the grocery store. Only this time instead of wearing an apron and a nametag, she wore fancy underwear. His relationship with Kim had certainly taken an odd turn this week. After her transformation, she’d practically become a different person- and then when it wore off, something about her had changed. It was like she’d become more open and daring, and, much to his delight, a lot more open about wearing revealing underwear.

But again, this wasn’t about the two of them. It was about Morgana.

“I’m just Morgana’s escort today,” he clarified, stepping out of the way and gesturing to the goth girl standing next to him. “She came here because… well, maybe it’s better if you say it,” he suggested, nodding to her.

Morgana swallowed nervously. “Kim, I… I want… I was wondering… would it be okay if… if we became friends?”

Kim stared blankly at her.

“Aren’t we… already friends?” She asked, confused.

“No, I mean… no, we’re not!” Morgana said, quickly shaking her head.

A sad look crossed Kim’s face and she sighed, placing her hand over her chest. “Oh… oh, I see… so that’s how it is… and here I thought… I’m sorry, Morgana, I mean… I always assumed that you…”

She was being dramatic, and that was obvious to everybody. Everybody who wasn’t a self-conscious social outcast who believed that she always said the exact wrong thing and made everyone dislike her just for breathing.

“NO!” Morgana exclaimed. “I didn’t mean it like that! I didn’t! I… I really want… what I mean is that I want to be your friend, because we’re not close yet! That doesn’t mean I don’t like you or anything, or that I didn’t consider you my friend before, it’s just… well…”

“Morgana.” Nick placed his hand on the poor girl’s shoulder, trying to calm her down before she started hyperventilating. “She’s playing with you. She’s having fun at your expense.”

Morgana blinked. “…Huh?”

“Don’t tell her that!” Kim groaned. “You’ll ruin it!”

“Yo-you’re teasing me?!” Morgana started to shake. She remembered the girls that teased her. The ones who looked down on her and picked on her. And now Kim was doing it, because she must secretly dislike her, and-

“Oh, honey, no, I’m sorry,” Kim said, rushing over to the other girl. She could see that Morgana was about to break. “I didn’t mean it, really, I didn’t. It was just teasing! Friends tease each other! I’m sorry…”

“I… what? Friends… tease each other?” Morgana needed to process that.

“Yeah, it’s like, just some ribbing, you know?” Kim elbowed Morgana in the side. “It doesn’t mean I don’t like you or anything like that! I was just trying to show you that I already think of you as a friend, that’s all!”

“Oh… so… when Cathy and the other girls threw mud on me while I was in the bathroom, or started a group chat talking about how much of a slut I was, they were just trying to be my friends?” Morgana asked, genuinely confused.

Kim gave her another blank stare.

“…No, that just sounds like bullying.”

“Well… what’s the difference?” Morgana asked.

“Good question, Kim,” Nick said, trying to suppress his smirk. “What’s the difference?”

Kim shot him a scathing glare. Then she turned back to Morgana and her expression softened. “Listen, Morgana, when those girls did it, it’s because they didn’t like you. When I did it, it’s because I wanted to play around and show that I’m comfortable with you. That’s the difference. It’s like when all my coworkers clocked out early and left me to handle their shifts at the electronics store. It’s just some light hazing to show I’m part of the team.”

“…No, that sounds like bullying too,” Nick pointed out.

“…Oh. Okay, yeah, now that I think about it… fuck! Those bitches!” Kim swore, shaking her head. “I actually thought they were friends!”

Morgana laughed. She knew she shouldn’t, but she still found herself amused by Kim’s situation. Kim noticed that, and smiled back.

“Hey, you’re smiling!” She pointed out. “You should do that more often! You look cute when you smile!”

Nick cleared his throat. “If one of your customers told you that, would you accept it?”

Kim pointed a finger at him. “NOT now, Nick.”

Nick just shrugged.

“Sorry about this,” Morgana said apologetically. “I guess… I need to be a little better at taking jokes, huh?”

“That’s not the takeaway here,” Nick corrected her, shaking his head. “The takeaway is that Kim needs to be telling jokes, instead of just being mean.”

“HEY!” Kim glared at him.

“Well, the reason I came here, it was… um… like I said…” Morgana tried to steer the conversation back on track before what happened with Carly happened again, and Nick ended up dominating the conversation. “I wanted… to be your friend. Like… a real friend. Not just someone you enjoy being around, you know?”

“A real friend, huh?” Kim said, bringing her finger to her lips in contemplation. “I see…”

“Like you and Mary!” Morgana clarified. “You two are really close! I know she and Holly are close too, but that’s because they were friends before… but you and Mary, you met on the show, and then… well, now you’re like this, and I was wondering…”

“Ah, how we got so close, huh? I getcha,” Kim nodded. “Well, it was mostly a marriage of convenience, if you’ll pardon the pun,” she said, flashing a smile at Nick. He rolled his eyes.

“Convenience?” Morgan asked, confused.

“We were paired up together first,” Kim explained. “And from there we just kind of stuck together, doing challenges and stuff. We got to know each other, you know? And we ended up liking the stuff we got to know about each other.”

“I… I think I get it,” Morgana said, nodding. “But… I mean… that’s because you guys had all that time, huh?”

“Well… I guess so, yeah,” Kim nodded. “I guess that won’t work for you, huh?”

Morgana shook her head. She didn’t have time to build strong friendships. She’d only had the week, and it was almost over.

“Well… I think you’ve formed some stronger friendships than you might think,” Kim said. “Listen, Morgana… I haven’t really had very many friends in my life, if I’m being honest.”

“Really?” Morgana was surprised to hear that. Kim seemed really outgoing. “But you’re so… friendly.”

“Well, that’s because of my winning smile,” Kim said, flashing an example to the other girl. “But if I’m not smiling, well… look, I’m only a few years older than you. And when I was in school, I was so worn down from all the jobs I was doing, I was absolutely miserable. I didn’t have any friends. But coming here, it’s just so…”

She took a deep breath and exhaled, shivering a little. She ran her hands over her exposed skin. “…It’s freeing,” she said finally. “I can do things that I never would have had the time to do back home, even if I do have to work this crummy job.”

“Ahem.” Across the room, a faerie cleared her throat. She wasn’t amused.

“…Err, I mean, this great job, which I love, and am very appreciative of,” Kim quickly corrected herself. “Would you like to buy some lingerie?”

Morgana shook her head. “Um… no. No, thanks.”

Kim chuckled. “Look, Morgana, I’m not gonna say it’s going to be easy. But you’ve got a friend in me. And I’m an open book. So whatever you want to know, just ask.”

Nick nodded. Kim was pretty perceptive sometimes. She could recognize what was giving Morgana all this anxiety without her having to say it.

And Morgana seemed to relax a little as well, after hearing that Kim really was trying to be her friend.

“Then… can you tell me some hobbies, maybe?” She suggested. “What do you enjoy doing?”

A shadow crossed over Kim’s face and she averted her eyes. “…Right… hobbies… yeah, those are the things that people with lives and free time have, right? Yeah…”

“What?!” Morgana’s eyes bulged out. She’d stepped in it again. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be so insensitive!”

“No, it’s fine,” Kim quickly tried to comfort her, forcing her smile back onto her face. “Look, it’s all good here, really. I’m fine! Everything is fine, you don’t have to worry.”

She cracked a big smile and patted her friend on the shoulder. “Anyway. Hobbies. I like nature walks, since, you know, I have to spend so much time indoors working. Plus, I also really like the botanical gardens here… plants are pretty cool, you know?”

Morgana stared blankly at her. She’d lucked out in getting to avoid Marley talking her ear off about plants, but Kim had come in from the side.

“…But that’s not the stuff you really want to hear about, huh?” Kim leaned back and shook her head. “Look, Morgana, I could sit here and tell you my whole life’s story, but… doesn’t that just seem kind of fake to you?”

Morgana blanched. “F-fake?” She stammered. “What do you mean?”

Kim shrugged. “Well, stuff like this, you need to find it out naturally, right? Again, with time. Just getting everybody to dump their baggage onto you, that won’t really strengthen your bonds of friendship. Who gave you a crummy idea like that?”

Morgana turned to Nick, who glanced away.

Kim sighed. “…Yeah, I figured. Okay, see, it’s different with him. Don’t take Nick’s advice. What did Dawn say? She seems like she’d be good at… oh, wait, maybe not. She doesn’t have any friends either…”

An awkward silence fell over the room.

Nobody here was exactly an expert on making friends.

“…Well, at least your heart is in the right place,” Kim said gently. “And that’s what really matters, don’t you think?”

“Really?” Morgana asked, surprised to hear that.

“Yeah,” Kim confirmed with a nod. “If someone sees that you’re really making an effort to try to get to know them, in a genuine way, mind you, not in a stalking way, then unless they completely despise you for some reason, the gesture will usually be appreciated.”

“I think so too,” Nick chimed in. “The important thing is that you’re making an effort, Morgana. You’re trying to get to know them. That won’t go unnoticed. So even if you don’t make an immediate bond of unbreakable friendship, as time goes on, you’ll find that you have some real friends here.”

Morgana tried to feel reassured by that.

But the two of them kept using that word again.

“Time.”

Time was something that Morgana did not have in abundance.

She glanced warily at the two of them, nodded slightly. “But… will that keep me… from getting eliminated?”

Kim could only shrug. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “I mean, I don’t see why anyone WOULDN’T pick you. Even Dani’s sort of gotten over that whole diary thing. The only thing you have to worry about is if someone has a close friend that’s in danger of elimination. And if that happens, well… what are you going to do? Because trust me, trying to break up a relationship to get ahead is NOT the way to go, just ask Rose.”

Nick nodded. He definitely agreed with that.

Morgana studied Kim carefully. She was still wearing that cheery smile, and the goth could see warmth in her eyes. But Kim hadn’t said that she would vote for Morgana, either.

She swallowed. “Then, will you-”

Kim raised her hand to cut her off. “I’d advise not doing that, either,” she said, shaking her head. “Asking someone if they’re going to vote for you… that has a risk of poisoning your friendship.”

“What?!” Morgana’s eyes widened.

“Why?” Nick asked, not sure what the logic behind that was.

“Because it makes the relationship feel transactional,” Kim explained. “At least, that’s how I see it anyway. If my boss says he wants something from me, that’s different than a friend asking for a favor, sure. But if it seems like my friend is only my friend because I keep doing favors for them, well…”

Kim wasn’t speaking from her own experience. But she’d seen many a deadbeat sidle up to her mother’s door needing some help. And her mom, gullible sap that she was, would always lend a hand, even though they barely had anything for themselves.

Leeches, the lot of them. Sucking her family dry of all their hard-earned cash.

“Just… look, I understand you’re worried, okay?” Kim said, her expression softening. “But it can give the wrong impression. Going up to someone and saying ‘will you be my friend’ and then asking them to pick you as their buddy isn’t the way to go. But I won’t hold it against you.”

She smiled again, and Morgana nodded. That definitely sounded helpful, even if not asking would wear away at her nerves.

“O-okay then, I’ll keep that in mind,” she nodded, hoping that she hadn’t made things worse between her and Carly for asking her.

“Well, then I think we’ve got this all settled then!” Kim grinned. “You’ve got other girls to talk to, right? Can’t spend all your time here. Unless you’d like to buy some lingerie, of course!”

“No, no, that’s fine,” Morgana said, shaking her head. She turned to Nick. “Who, uh… who do you think we should go to next, then?”

Nick could think of a few people. But he had someone in mind that he really thought could be convinced to spare Morgana, if he asked her.

“What about Dakota?” He suggested.

And then to his shock, Morgana’s expression turned as pale as a ghost.

“N-no,” Morgana stammered, shaking her head frantically. “The other girls are fine, but not her! Please!”

Nick was confused. He had sensed tension between Morgana and Dakota, but he had no idea what the source of it was. “Why not?” He asked. “What’s wrong with Dakota?”

Morgana’s mouth flopped open and closed, and she tried to come up with something to say.

Finally, she sighed, and slumped against the counter. “It’s complicated,” she mumbled. She couldn’t really go into detail about it. “But… you can’t trust her, Nick. Really, you can’t.”