We're DEFINITELY turning a few heads.

The second we step out of the dorm, I begin having second thoughts. Is my dumbass con-strap-tion really going to fool anyone? Or our so-called cover story? Not that my worries are shared by Joy in any way - she's grinning hugely, practically bouncing with excitement and looking around at buildings, trees, skies, other people, like she hasn't seen any of that before... I stop in my tracks as I realize that that's exactly the case. She's been outside once in her entire life, and I made her hide under my shirt the whole time. Some boyfriend I am.

"Hey, what's the matter? C'mon, I wanna see the city!" Joy turns in the harness and her exuberant grin gets replaced by a look of worry as she sees my expression. Whatever face I'm making, it seems to give her pause. "Something wrong, Matt?"

"Huh? Nah!" I quickly play it down - won't do to cry about the past if I can live in the present with Joy. "Just lost in thought for a second. What do you want to check out first?"

"The café! A café? I guess there's more than one." And she's back in good spirits. "We kinda need to get some breakfast."

"Trrrue that." I completely forgot; among all the stuff going on this morning, we actually didn't eat anything. "I know a neat little café just off campus, let's grab a bite there, and afterwards I'll show you the city."

As we set off again, I notice that we've already caught our first 'admirer' - some guy I've seen around university a few times is staring at us from the other side of the plaza in front of the dorm, somewhere between leering at Joy's admittedly marvelous tits and freaked out by her lack of legs. As he notices us return the stare, Joy with a wave and I with a raised middle-finger, the guy's eyes go wide and he legs it. Asshole, treating my girlfriend like a piece of eye-candy slash freakshow...

And surprise, surprise, he's not the only one. A gaggle of college girls points and talks in hushed voices, as we step off campus, a mother with a stroller stops and stares - it goes on and on, and it is starting to make me angry. If people aren't staring or throwing glances, they're awkwardly trying to avoid looking at us at all. I mean, the good news is that our 'disguise' seems to be working. Still sucks that everyone seems to be looking at my 'disabled' girlfriend with either pity or barely concealed sensationalist interest - 'Oy, look at the legless lass over there!'

Makes my blood boil. And being hungry doesn't exactly help. Ironically, I get so furious that I almost walk right past the café; only Joy's excited gasp stops me in my tracks. That and her hand grabbing the fence around the outside sitting area.

"Woaah! It's. So. Cute." It's... a little above average, I'd say. If Joy wasn't so hyped up about her first breakfast in a café, that is. "C'mon, where do we sit? What do we order? Oooh, can I get a cinnamon roll? Also, what`s a cinnamon roll, and how do I know that name?"

"Pipe down a little, please!" I shush Joy, squeezing her hand lightly. "Remember, you're a normal, college-age woman, who definitely had cinnamon rolls before, and will totally get one now."

"Yay!" Joy twists her body around and gives me a quick peck on the lips, giving me that damn smile I want to see as often as possible before turning back around, flicking her hand in a dismissive gesture. "I mean, sure, whatever. I'll just have, like, a cinnamon roll and a pumpkin spice latte. Gotta love the cinnamon rolls."

"It's summer. That pumpkin spice latte will have to wait a few months." I grin and lean forwards to give Joy a kiss on the cheek. Even with some of the patrons of the café staring at us, I find myself enjoying this first outing... no, date with Joy. "Good valley girl impression, though. Where did you learn that?"

"As with many things in my brain... I have no idea."

Chuckling, we begin walking towards a free table and sit down, Joy smiling at one of the staring groups while I stare down another. And of course, as soon as either of us returns their looks, everyone turns away and acts innocent. I sigh in annoyance and look for someone that will serve us. Luckily, we're rather late, so not much is going on, and a server soon walks up to our table and is actually professional enough to treat us as patrons, not a freakshow.

"Welcome to Darcy's Delights, I'm Lewis, your server. What can I get you folks?"

"A CINNA--" Joy interrupts her excited almost-yell with a cough. "I mean, a cinnamon roll, thank you. Totally had them before. And, uhm, o-orange juice?"

"Certainly. And for you, sir?" Lewis is completely unperturbed. I'm sure he sees a lot of weird people in his job.

"A cream cheese bagel and a coffee, black with one sugar, please."

"Of course. That will be just a minute, thank you for your patience."

With that, he's off, leaving us to fend with the looks of the other people in the café. And while it annoys me how they look at us, I also begin to worry again - with us being the center of attention, will anyone notice the truth about me and Joy? It's not like the shirts barely conceal the fact that she's growing from my hips! Why did I think this was a good idea again? Oh, right, because staying inside wasn't really an option and I felt bad that Joy had never been outside properly. Let's just hope that we...

"He-heeey, Matt!" ... don't run into people I know. Like known motormouth and resident best friend Nick. "Aaand going out on a limb here - Joy?"

"Oh, hi! You're Nick, right?" Of course Joy recognizes the guy; for all his faults, he is most definitely a unique kind of guy. "So good to finally meet you - not over a call, I mean."

"Abso-effin'-lutely. I have to say, you look even more beautiful than your voice made me think." Laying it on way too thick, Nick sits down across from us with his cock-sure grin. "Dude, why didn't you tell me you were going to get breakfast with your girlfriend? Seriously, if I hadn't run into you..."

"Dude, it's almost noon. I figured you'd already eaten." Although I'm still nervous about getting found out, the way he's treating Joy is rather reassuring - not as a freak, not as a pity case, just a normal girl that I happen to carry around in a mess of straps. Would he be that calm and flirtatious if he knew the truth? "Besides, I knew you'd do your Mr Steal Yo Girl routine as soon as you saw her."

"How could I not, man?" Putting on a smile he definitely thinks is dazzling and suave, Nick turns to Joy. "I hope I'm not too forward, ma'am, but you're a major hottie and my buddy is a damn lucky man."

"My, thank you, sir, you are most kind." For a one day old woman that took the place of my cock yesterday, Joy manages a quite convincing British accent. "But Matt isn't too bad, either."

Reaching down, she grabs my ass before I can react and squeezes it playfully. I can't suppress a yelp, and of course Nick and Joy can't help but laugh at me.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, you guys." Aren't I witty today. But hey, I'm the one with the gorgeous redhead as a girlfriend, even if it cost me my dick.

"Sorry, dude." Nick chuckles, wiping his eyes. "But seriously, I already have a better feeling about you two than I ever had about you and Ellie. Ms Smith was never quite... you know."

"You know what?" Joy twists around to look at me, the straps pulling tight around our bodies. "One day, you'll have to tell me more about her."

"Iiii'd rather put all that behind me." Wincing, I look to check where Lewis is. Our food can't take that long, can it? "Maybe after some proper therapy sessions."

"I'm not gonna say 'it wasn't that bad', man. I've seen the fallout. But maybe talking about it with Joy is gonna help you work through it. Therapists don't come cheap..." Nick flags down the waiter - which, technically, wouldn't have been necessary as Lewis was on the way to our table anyways. After ordering a coffee for himself, my best friend leans back and watches us eat breakfast, raising an eyebrow at the way we bend around each other to reach our food. "Y'know, if you set Joy down on her own chair, you guys would probably have an easier time eating."

"Uh." He's right. He's absolutely right and my mind is blank, no excuse forthcoming - at least not a believable one.

"Nah, the harness is a pain to put on and take off. Besides..." Joy is definitely quicker to think on her feet than I am. Snuggling back against me, rubbing against curiously sensitive nipples, she continues after smelling her freshly baked cinnamon roll and moaning appreciatively. "I like being close to Matt."

"Damn, quit making me jealous," Nick laughs, grinning at me. "Seriously, where did you find Joy? She's almost too good to be true."

"We just sorta... bumped into each other." As I explain or rather bullshit my way through things, I try to focus on my bagel. Let's hope Nick doesn't feel like digging too deep. "One thing led to another, and here we are."

"Fate, kismet, destiny then. How romaaantic." Nick's such an ass, but his grin tells me that he's just teasing.

"Magic and intervention by aliens were in the running, too. And Matt did say he felt like he was dreaming when we first met..." Joy takes a bite of her cinnamon roll and trails off, head lowering to look at her pastry. "Oh. My. God. I LOVE this stuff!"

"Wow, you look like you never had one of those!" With Joy practically creaming herself - crude expression, I know, but with how she's writhing and moaning as she takes bite after bite, relishing the taste, it seems rather fitting - it's pretty easy to see how Nick gets that impression. "If it's really that good, I'll have to try one myself..."

The rest of our breakfast is spent with banter, baked goods and bad jokes, although Nick doesn't feel above flipping off one particularly hard-headed starer that can't be persuaded to turn away just by giving her angry looks. Funny enough, the middle-aged woman seems scandalized by Nick's behavior... But at least there is no major incident that either reveals the secret of Joy and me or leads to altercations of whatever other kind.

The thing is... after breakfast, the next hurdle of our outing presents itself.