Watch the first contest

I get back to the site just in time for the first competition. Alex and Dennis are paired up and offering color to the scene.

First, Alex addresses the contestants.

“Here is your first chance to score some real points for yourself and help your team. Guys, you have been lined up in random order, and ladies, the same. When I say “Go” the first woman on each team will run forward, put a condom on the first guy in line, and bring him to orgasm. Once you do that, take the condom off, tie it in a knot, and drop it in the golden bowl for your team. Then, run back and tag the next lady in line, who will run forward and do the same to the next guy in line. When the timer runs out, the team with the most condoms in the bowl will win. If either side gets through all of the guys for your team, the round comes to an immediate end, and that team wins. The winning team gets the rest of the day off, but the losing team will proceed to a conclave, where they will vote off one of their own. This is where it gets real. So, guys... drop your drawers, and line up. By the way, men, you are not allowed to touch yourselves before or during the competition — it will be up to the ladies to get you all the way there. We’ve set the clock for 20 minutes — on your mark, get set, GO!”

I watch the first two women run forward, kneel, and get busy. I listen in as Alex and Dennis offer commentary.

“Well this is certainly an exciting way to start the competition, isn’t it, Dennis?”

“It certainly is, but it’s more than just entertaining to watch; there are important skills being demonstrated here that our judges will be evaluating carefully.”

“Like blowjob technique?”

“Yes,” says Dennis, “but more than that. It’s easy to think this is all on the girls, but I think the guys have the harder job here. Getting hard and staying hard on demand is something that causes most would-be male stars to flunk out early on. It isn’t easy to stay hard and aroused when people are watching, and when there is the pressure of a time crunch.”

“Oh, look, Dennis! Team 1 has just scored the first point!”

I look as a young Asian woman pulls a filled condom off the sweaty farmhand from Oklahoma and runs to the bowl, tying the condom in a knot as she does. The next teammates line up and begin again.

Dennis continues. “And the girls have to really think about technique. They want a good use of tongue and lips, as well as appropriate hand technique. Look at Team 2, for example — she’s totally forgetting to use her hands, and that’s costing her in time and points.”

Team 2 soon gains its first point, and its contestants rotate.

“Team 1 started off with a commanding lead, Alex, but they’re struggling right now. Who is the guy? Darrin, I think. Yes, Darrin seems to be having trouble getting it up. Jessie seems to be getting aggravated because he isn’t responding. Oh look... Team 2 just scored a point and took the lead. This could spell disaster for Team 1 if Darrin can’t get it together.”

“Jessie seems pretty upset with Darrin,” says Alex. “Is he going to be the first one voted off?”

“That’s hard to say. I’m looking at Jessie’s technique, and I’d have to say the blame doesn’t rest fully with Darrin. She’s not stroking him — she’s tugging on him like she’s trying to start a chainsaw. See the way he’s grimacing when she does that? I’m not sure I’d be able to rise to the occasion under that kind of handling.”

“Well, Team 2 seems to be doing quite well. Rhonda is making good use of her hands and mouth, and Wong appears to be appreciating her skills. I think we’ll see another point any second.”

“Yes, her technique looks good, Alex, but you’ll notice she’s not even looking up at him. He may not care, but the successful porn actresses know that the ultimate beneficiary of what they do is the guy who is watching the video. She needs to use her eyes and facial expressions so that every pimply-faced teenage boy and every middle-aged father of six who is watching feels like she is doing that to him.”

Wong arches his back and yells moments before Rhonda pulls off the condom and runs back to the bowl. One the Team 1 side, Jessie is still pulling on Darrin’s limp cock, and she is shouting over her shoulder arguing with her teammates.

Before the next contestants can start, the buzzer sounds, bringing an end to the first round.

“Well, Darrin, that was a commanding victory for Team 2. We have a few hours now before the conclave. It will be interesting to listen in on what the teammates have to say to each other. I’d definitely say if I were Darrin or Rhonda, I’d be sweating now and trying to build up goodwill with my teammates or try to earn an immunity pass from a judge. Let’s watch and see how this develops.”

I look at your watch and try to decide if I will stay and watch some more or come back for the conclave.