Walk of shame

The walk of shame from his dorm back to mine didn't bother me particularly{if first_party=true}, but my stained clothing didn't help{endif}. In any case it was still early enough that there weren't many people out and about. As I reached the women's dorm I locked myself in and made for my room.

As I entered I noticed Jessica sitting on her bed, waiting for me.

"Here I was worried for you, and it turns out you were just getting laid with your boyfriend. Text me next time perhaps?"

While her complaint was reasonable enough, she had that judgmental look in her eyes she got every time I had sex. Crossing my arms I stared back at her.

"Something else bothering you Jess? Am I offending your moral sensibilities?"

She sniffed{if first_party=true} and looked away as she smelled the aura of beer I had carried into the room{endif}.

"It's just that," she stopped looking for words. "Todd and I have decided that our first time should be on our wedding night. That makes it special you know? We're saving ourselves for each other," she said as she gave me a shy smile. Talk about sex always made her awkward.

"I swear Jess, sometimes you say the most backwards shit." I shook my head at her. "First of all, how the hell does it make sense for me to save myself for Jamie by not having sex with him? Secondly, sex is a natural thing to do with someone you love. The whole virginity equals purity bullshit is just a way to control women by men who are insecure about the fatherhood of their children. Patriarchal power structures, remember? That whole course we are taking together?"

She nodded silently, so I continued.

"And I can guarantee you that if I marry Jamie, our wedding night will benefit greatly from us knowing each others bodies. It's not dirty, Jess."

"I know all that, intellectually. I really do." She held her hand to her chest. "But I still struggle with accepting it in here. I'm trying Em, I really am."

"I know," I said, shaking my head.

"I've learned so much already, but sometimes things get a bit jumbled. These things stick deep you know? Anyways, I'm sorry."

{if first_party=true} I was about to give her a hug when I realized I was still covered in beer. Ditching my clothes in the dirty bin, I headed into the shower instead.{else} I gave her a hug before heading for the shower.{endif}