Waking up

Jol woke up to a flashlight being shone in his eyes. Groaning, he saw Captain Jani Jesem standing over him. The six-foot Amazonian wore a scathing look on her face, one that aligned with her reputation.

"I thought you Raiders were disciplined," she commented.

"I'm sorry. It's been a rough few months." Jol groaned.

Jani let out a sigh. "I am sorry for what happened, but I can't keep doing this. You know you’re lucky to be here — instead of prison."

"Yeah. Demoted to private and stuck guarding the king just because of one ba—"

Jani's face fell back into its usual stern self. "Save it. I've heard it before and I don't need to hear it again. You're to report to medical for a final evaluation before I put you into service."

Jol thought about muttering something about how waking up late was likely to exclude him, but he held his tongue. Deep down he knew he was lucky. The king's nephew had died under his command, and what he'd done wasn't exactly protocol, even if few Raiders even cared for such protocol. After getting dressed, Jol headed for the elevator. It took him to the second floor where he found a slight woman wearing light blue overalls. She had a slender yet fit frame and kept her blonde hair in a neat bun.

"How are you, Mr. Maxov?" she said, her voice soft as cotton.

"I'm... breathing I guess. And it's Jol."

The woman nodded. "My apologies. Anyway, we’d better get moving."

"Yes, Tamari."

Jol followed the woman down clinical white hallways, taking a glance at her round ass. She said, "So, did you sleep well?"

"Not really. I need some more of those pills."

"Okay. We'll discuss that in my office."

Tamari opened the door into her office, which had light blue walls, a desk, and a bed in the middle for Jol. Tamari headed to the desk and said, "I think we need to work on getting you off those sleeping pills."

"Yeah, well... the only thing that really takes the images away is booze, so..."

Tamari let out a sigh before saying, "How about you sit down?"

Jol nodded as Tamari did her best to compose herself. As much as she respected her need to be professional, it was difficult considering the athletic specimen in front of her, especially considering she'd seen every inch of his chiseled body.

"So, what exactly do you see in your sleep?" she asked.

He sat down on the edge of the bed. "Th-the mission. Where it all went wrong. All my men dying. I mean, I was a Raider. The best of the best, you know?"

Tamari typed up some notes. "Do you wish to join the Raiders again?"

"They won't let me. Not after the king's nephew died under my command."

"But yourself?"

Jol pondered for a second. "I do. I spent my entire adult life either training to become a Raider or being one."

"Are you concerned with meeting the king?"

"No."

She glanced up from her computer screen, hoping to find a reaction on Jol's face, but found none. "Even after his nephew died under your command?"

"Barris knew the risks. Every one of my men did."

"If you could go back to that day, would you change what you did?"

"Of course I would. I got my men killed. I mean, if you were performing surgery on someone and slipped, you'd want to go back in time, wouldn't you?"

"Maybe, but you had your reasons for taking that course of action, didn't you?"

"I guess."

"I think you still blame yourself for what happened, and that's just not reasonable, Jol. Most Raiders would've done the same in your position."

"Yeah, tell that to Janis, or the king, or everyone else here. I know how most people look at me."

"How do they look at you?"

Jol sighed for a second. "Like some sort of fuck-up. Like I don't belong here."

Tamari felt her heart sink. It hurt to see a man seemingly in his prime so down. "So, according to your records, you joined the Raiders right out of the academy?"

"Yeah..."

"Did your fellow Raiders feel the same way? You hadn't seen combat, so you were fresh. You needed to prove yourself."

"I guess."

"Well, maybe you need to prove yourself again, Jol. You have more tactical training than anyone in the king's guard. I'm sure if you apply yourself to your new position, whatever that may be, you'll soon receive the respect you deserve."

"And what if they don't? I mean, I'll always be the guy who got Barris killed."

"Those who don't understand will never be you. They'd never step onto an enemy craft like you did. Those who judge from the sidelines often have little of their own worth boasting about."

"I guess."

"I mean, personally, you're probably the bravest person to step into this room."

Jol flashed a smile. "The king might not like to hear that."

"Well, luckily he has his own personal room."

His smile only grew. "Lucky indeed."

"Okay, well, I guess we should get down to business. You aced the physical and you're one of the best shots on the combat course. Hell, your hand-to-hand instructor still has to check up with me after that last sparring session."

"Sorry to keep you busy."

"Oh, I appreciate the job security. On that, any injuries recently?"

"None to report."

"Okay good. You should be approved for duty." Tamari grabbed some more sleeping pills for Jol. "If you need more, feel free to arrange a meeting, but I think you should try going this week without them. I've got a sinking feeling you'll be on armory duty for a while anyway."

Jol shrugged. "Probably forever actually."

"Hmm, don't be so sure. Say what you want about the king, but he brought you here for a reason, Jol."

"True. So, anything else I have to tick off?"

"No. Actually, you've got the rest of the day to yourself."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Maybe you should take a day off. I think you deserve it."

Jol nodded. "Probably not a bad idea. Thanks, Tamari. For everything."

"Not a problem. I'll be here when you need me."

"Yeah. See you."

Jol took his sleeping pills before heading for the elevator, which brought him back to his barracks. There, he got dressed in a casual yet fashionable outfit of purple and red thermal jacket, grey pants, and a black shirt. Perfect for a night out in Seranis.