Waking up. Again. (Mattahouen)

I screw my eyes shut, praying to a God I don't believe in, that it was all a bad dream. But the cold, and the damp suggest otherwise. Once again, I **** my eyes open, only to find myself in a dark, half flooded cave, with gravestones lining the walls. I stand, and am immediately reminded that I'm wearing nothing but my underwear.With a sigh, I pick up the nearest stick and venture forward. Within a few minutes a walk out into the bright light and fresh air of Limgrave, and up to a strange man in a featureless white mask.

Me: "Oh! An alive person! Thank fuck! Where are we?"

Varre: "Oh yes, Tarnished are we? Come to the lands between for the Elden Ring? Of course you have. No shame in it.

Unfortunately for you, however, you are maidenless.

Without guidance, without the strength of runes, and without an invitation to the Roundtable Hold...

You are fated, it seems, to die in obscurity."

Me: "What? Elden Ri... is this a game? Is this Elden Ring? Are you an NPC?"

Varre: "Luckily for you however, there is one shining ray of hope fir the maidenless. Me. Varré. Take care to listen.

Are you familiar with grace? The golden light that gives life to you Tarnished. You may also behold its golden rays pointing in a particular direction at times.

That is the guidance of grace. The path that a Tarnished must travel.

Mm, indeed. Grace's guidance holds the answers.

It will lead you Tarnished to the path you are meant to follow.

Even if it leads you to your grave."

Me: "A simple yes would have sufficed my dude"

I step away from the conversation as Varre begins to spout another line of indecipherable lore jargon.

Varre: "And you simply could have said you weren't interested, you maidenless runt"

I wheel back around on Varre.

Me: "You can speak, like a person?"

Varre: "Of course I can, you fool!"

Me: "What... do you do?"

Varre: "I am here to serve as your introduction to Luminary Mohg, should you decide to stray from the wisdom of the two fingers"

Me: "So yeah. An NPC"

Varre: "A what?"

Me: "Don't worry. Farewell"