Wake up in the infirmary

The first thing I felt when I woke up was cold, cold metal against the back of my head. My eyes opened to see a bright shining light shining down on me as I heard a voice talk.

“Lily, are you awake?”

“Y-yes?” I managed to squeak out weakly. My vocal cords were still recovering from almost being crushed.

“It’s me, Hailey. We got you here in the infirmary okay? How are you feeling?”

“What happened”

“You apparently were grabbed by some kind of creature. It sounds like if it weren't for Rita’s quick thinking, you’d still be there.”

My eyes adjusted as she took the light off of my face. When I went to move, that's when I felt it, an extremely sharp pain jolted through my back. I winced in pain and Haily went to help me.

“I wouldn’t move if I were you, Lily. You had a really big fall in the cave. Doesn’t look like you broke any bones but you may have severe bruising all over your body.”

That made sense with what I was feeling.

“Just wait here while I go grab you some pain killers.”

She left the room. While she did I tilted my head sideways and saw a window to the outside world. The ground was yellow like cheese with rocks and dust blowing in the wind. Just as I looked I saw two people walk past in the issued orange space suits holding dynamite and a large drill. My memories slowly came back to me about the experience. About the creature wrapping me in its mouth. The memories of the feeling of having my senses assaulted. The pleasure that encompassed my entire being while it vibrated itself inside my ear.

I quickly closed my eyes and tried my best to push the intrusive thoughts away as Hailey returned back to the room with a cup of some pills. She gave them to me and I swallowed them down.

“What was with the dynamite and the drill?” I asked

“Oh I think they’re heading to the cave with that”

Panic rushed through me, clearly emanating in a nervous shake in my voice.

“What are they going to do with that? They aren’t gonna kill the things in there are they?”

Hailey sensed my nervous tone of voice and looked at me with squinted eyes, confused.

“No… They were going to open up the hole and get better access to the things on the other side.”

“Good,” I responded, sensing her suspicion, “As much as I don’t want to get eaten by one of those things again, I’d hate it if they trashed valuable research in the name of safety”

Hailey laughed, finally understanding my concern, “I think the last thing you should be worried about right now is research, okay?”

“I think you’re right about that.”

“I do want to talk about what happened when you were in it though. From what I’ve seen on your body it didn’t stab prod or poke you in any way. What did it do?”

I paused. Why did I pause? I should tell her the truth, but yet some deep part of me is worried. Did I not want to tell her in case they don’t let me visit it again? Did I want it to happen again?

Lie

No, I thought to myself, That can't be it. I don’t want what happened to me to happen again. It was horrifying. I thought I was gonna die. Who knows, maybe it was trying to calm me down so it could eat me…

I paused- If it was trying to eat me, why would it make me aroused? Why wouldn’t it try to numb me up instead? My mind raced to find an answer, going over possible solutions. I needed to find out what it was doing. I needed to do research on it. Research… yes

I need to do more research on it. I can’t risk them taking me off the team! If they do that I wouldn’t be able to conduct research on it.

“I really can’t remember. I remember it wrapping around my neck and then everything went black. That's all.”

Haily looked in my eyes, clearly feeling sorry for me.

“Alright well, I’m gonna leave you to recover for the rest of the day, okay”

“Wait!... Can you stay here with me? I need to talk to someone”

I need someone to talk to to get my mind off… IT

“I’m sorry Lily but I’m the only doctor on this ship, and another patient need my help”

Someone else was injured?

“Who?”

“Rita… She broke her arm from catching you during your fall. She’s the only reason you’re lucky to be alive right now.”

***

I tried to keep my mind off of it, but no matter what I did I found myself thinking back to it. To that bright orange light that filled my mind. How it echoed in my head. The perfect feeling of my ear being invaded by its tentacles, vibrating my head and driving me insane with pleasure. The smell… the taste… no matter how hard I tried to push it out, the memory of it always found its way back inside my mind, and with no way to occupy my mind, that was all I could think of.

God am I getting wet right now?

I reached into my pants to reaffirm what I knew was already true. I wasn’t just wet. Right now I was downright soaked. As my thumb slightly brushed against my clit, another thought came from within my mind.

I’m getting soaked thinking about it…

It. Not a person or a place. A thing. An It.

And yet,

It was all I craved.

It was all I desired.

I began to stroke my clit.

I was one with It, and It was one with me.

Inside me. I wasn’t just Lily, I was its food, its plaything.

Its toy

And I loved it. I loved every second of it.

In that moment of pure desire, we were both equalized. We were just things. I was its thing.

“Mph!” I moaned, biting my lower lip while I did.

The pain in my back was starting to subside from the painkillers, and I could feel my climax was incoming.

Fuck I want it. I want it so bad.

I was no longer pushing the memory away. I was inviting it in, and I was loving every second of it. Every second of the blissful embrace. I couldn’t help myself. I wanted to be back with it so fucking bad. It was so wrong but it felt so fucking right. I imagined the pulse of that orange light one final time as the climax I was building towards finally overtook me.

Bliss. Pure bliss. But pure bliss that lasted only for a few moments. After I climaxed, I felt myself return back to the situation at hand. To life, and the world as I know it.

Soon shame overtook me as the realization of what I did washed over me slowly. This was fucked up. Sure, I had masturbated to fucked up things before in my life but nothing ever this, real. It was always just fantasy. Never real.

And that’s all this is too. Fantasy. I’d never really do that again.

I felt reassured by this. It was true. It was all just a big fantasy. I’d never actually bring myself back to that cave and insert myself back into that monster's tentacles.

But… If I did… What would that feel like…

My hand found its way back under my pants once again.