Virtu-Allie

Meeting people in real life is so 2015. In this, our Brave New World, we let our computer overlords find love for us. On the plus side online dating enable shy people to overcome their anxiety and meet compatible people. Then again, I'm pretty sure that this was exactly the plot of one of The Matrix movies. In either case I look great in black leather, so I figured I'd give it a shot.

The internet dating fad came long after my time, and I can't begin to keep all of the Tinders and Grinders and Blenders straight. Fortunately, trusty intern Jessie volunteered to help me navigate the stormy seas on cyber seduction.

"Well first you have your OKCupids, Match.coms and eHarmonys. These are largely for people looking for stable long term partners" she began.

"That doesn't sound like it would make for particularly interesting journalism."

Jessie continued. "Right. Next, you have the seedier ones like Tinder. All about looks. Sort of like meeting someone at a bar. You see someone sexy, you meet them for coffee or drinks or whatever."

"Gotcha. Still sounds pretty tame. What else do you have?"

Jessie blushed, but there was a glimmer in her eyes. "I'd go with Tinder. It's just weird enough that people will find it exciting but not, you know, crazy weird."

"I'm a journalist. Exposing crazy weird is what I live for"

Jessie continued to glimmer and blush "...if you insist. I was sure that these were jokes at first, but scary amounts of people have downloaded them..."

I leaned closer as she turned her phone to me...