Very Awkward

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How the hell did it come to this...? You thought, It was supposed to be a simple evening; cook dinner, enjoy it with my mom on her rare early clock-out time, and then relax for the day. Why the hell do I have to deal with an Elf in my home!? And why is my mom still looking lovestruck!?

"So, your name is Elwür. Tell me," Said Yutsuko, her voice soft and demure, "How did such an ikemen (handsome guy) like you end up here?"

"I'm unsure," Elwür said.

"Aw, surely you have an idea?" Yutsuko asked, "I really hate for someone to hurt someone so handsome..."

"I don't know," Elwür said, looking slightly exasperated, "And I'm lost."

"I guess you must be lonely," Said Yutsuko, "I'm guessing you have nowhere else to go?"

"No," Elwür replied.

"That's too bad, I suppose," Said Yutsuko, "Why not stay at my place?"

"..."

"Come on, I can't let an ikemen like you loiter on the streets," Said Yutsuko, "There's a lot of people who'd exploit you without hesitation, especially those women who use their beauty as a weapon. And I'd feel a lot better if you stay here to man the house when my son's at school."

You blankly stared at your mother, while Elwür flashed you a look that pretty much said: 'Is she serious?'

And she's not even saying a darn thing about the fact that we have a cosplayer in the house! I have to admit though, he is handsome.

"Oh come on!" You said, "He's a complete stranger! And who the hell has pointy ears in this world of ours!? This isn't some sort of reverse-isekai anime or something contrived by some two-bit author with too much time on his hands!"

"And you're being awfully loud!" Yutsuko retorted, "You're also being a bloody devil! Who shouldn't lend a helping hand to a lost boy and prevent him from wasting his life, loitering on the streets with no bright future in store!?"

The still-lovestruck expression was fixed on your mother's face, and you felt a vein popping in your forehead.

"You're just too taken in by his good looks and strange ears!" You countered, "And come on, you're nearly thirty! What's with you acting like a lovestruck maiden!?"

And then Yutsuko started bawling like a little girl.

"It's not my fault all my boyfriends dumped me!" Yutsuko cried, "It's not my fault I ended up being an otaku!"

Elwür simply looked at her like she grew two heads, then turned to you, to which you replied with a helpless shrug.

"Enough," He said, "You're being awfully noisy."

You have absolutely no tact whatsoever! You cried internally.

Yet to your surprise, Yutsuko immediately stopped crying, huffing as she slurped her ramen.

"It's fine," She said, "I'm used to it by now. However... I'm worried that no one will be left to take care of the house. I mean, you're planning to join the soccer team, aren't you Toraemon?"

"I am, Mom," You said, "I can take care of the house just fine."

"I know, but you do deserve some moments of rest," Said Yutsuko, "And besides, you do need to study for your tests."

"I don't deny that," You admitted.

"Hence why, I'd like to hire you as a housekeeper!" Yutsuko said to Elwür.

...

"What?"

"I mean, think about it!" Said Yutsuko, "I've always fantasized about having an ikemen Elf housekeeper with such dazzling beauty, helping to handle the chores. Who doesn't want that?"

"You," You said.

"Well, obviously, but my point stands!" Yutsuko exclaimed.

You merely sigh, shaking your head.

"Fine, but I fully expect him to do his job, alright?" You said.

"Yay! I hope you do a good job, Elwür-kun!" Yutsuko exclaimed.

The Elf, on the other hand, was transfixed into a blank stupefied expression, his mind struggling to comprehend the absolute mess he landed himself in.