Unhelpful Hands

Caroline stared intently at the lipstick as through sheer tyranny of will she could get the hands holding it to behave. To her dismay it did not work as Jeffs right hand unspooled the lipstick and began to raise it to her mouth. Caroline felt it touch her lips and trace carefully. “Oh” she thought “Maybe he is being careful.” As the thought left her head she felt the lipstick begin to make a long stroke on each side of her lips. “Her” other hand closed the compact mirror and the other hand made a final dot on Caroline’s nose.

Neil stared at Caroline. He truly didn’t know what to think anymore. Caroline could feel his eyes probing her as she glanced down at her placemat. One of “her” hands grabbed the butter knife and began tracing the edge of it with “her” other hand.

“Uhh you wanna know how I got these scars?” Caroline stammered trying her best to do a Joker impression.

“Oh! Ha!” Neil guffawed. He understood that reference.

Caroline’s arms **** her into a little bow making sure not to go so low that you could see Jeff’s face pressed up against her upper back. Caroline at this point felt totally defeated by her uncontrollable arms. Jeff had taken over her date. To make matters worse his performance as her hands had gotten more laughs than any date where she was in control of her own hands!

“Thank you! Thank you! You’re too kind” Caroline said with a sort of embarrassed laugh. Jeff's hands cupped the sides of her face trying to hide her blushing cheeks. He took a napkin from the table and rubbed the lipstick off her nose and lips as best he could. Jeff felt like she earned a little bit of a break. Caroline and Neil continued their conversation and instead of making any sudden movements Jeff just allowed himself to gesture for Caroline. “You know maybe I should be a hand model. I’m pretty good at being hidden behind someone…” Jeff thought to himself.

Some time had passed and Caroline had managed to actually not spill any of the french onion soup she ordered on herself. She was actually enjoying herself and found that Jeff’s hands added a level of excitement she had never experienced before. Glancing down at “her” hands from time to time she was shocked at how convincing of an illusion it was. “This brings the term helping hands to a whole nother meaning.” she thought.

“So do you want to get dessert?” Neil asked?

“Actually I was wondering if you wanted to come back to my place for coffee?” Caroline replied.

Jeff couldn’t believe what he just heard. He begin to feel jealousy wash over him and decided that it was time to spice up the date for Caroline again. He reached into Caroline’s pocketbook again and grabbed her pack of cigarettes and lighter. He popped a cigarette into Caroline’s mouth.

“Oh I just can’t wait to get out of here and have a sm-” before Caroline could finish her sentence Jeff had lit the cigarette. She took a very light puff and could feel the entire restaurant look at her. Let alone Neil who once again found himself in disbelief of this very strong willed forward woman.

The waitress who had been serving them walked over in a hurry and very firmly said “Miss there is absolutely under no circumstances smoking allowed on the premises.”

Jeffs hand removed the cigarette from Caroline’s mouth and put it out in a glass of water. Caroline let out a string of apologies longer than the bible. The waitress seemed to find the whole situation more amusing than disruptive and accepted the apology. As she began to walk away “Caroline’s” hand reached forward and slapped the waitress on the ass. Her face completely red, the waitress turned around and stared a hole into Caroline. Caroline was so shocked even more so when “her” hand gave a flirtatious wave to the waitress.

“Alright you two are gone.” the waitress said as she firmly grabbed “Caroline’s” wrist. She pulled and pulled and to everyone’s surprise Jeffs head poked out from behind Caroline.

The waitress and Neil both looked on in complete disbelief. As if they had plans themselves Neil got up and left with the waitress shaking his head the entire time and profusely apologizing to the waitress for the actions of the other two.

Left by themselves Caroline and Jeff sat for a moment.

“I hate you.” Caroline said as Jeffs hands still gestured. Caroline looked at the hands.

“No, I really really hate you.”

“You have to admit. I was pretty spontaneous huh?” Jeff replied with a smirk.

“So do you want to finish these mimosas and get out of here?” Caroline asked. She reached for one of the last two glasses of the flight but Jeff stopped her.

“Allow me.”