Unfamiliar Territory

Jessica stood in the middle of her bedroom and listened to the muffled voices drifting up from downstairs.

Laughter. A burst of Zara's unmistakable voice. Michelle saying something that Jessica couldn't quite make out, followed by Elaine's deeper laugh.

And underneath all of it, Roy. Just hearing him made Jessica smile. The house had never sounded like this before.

For years, the rooms had carried the quieter sounds of ordinary life. Ava coming home from school. The television playing downstairs. The dishwasher running after dinner. The occasional phone call from work that Jessica had taken while standing in the hallway because she was too tired to sit down properly.

Tonight, the house felt alive. Six people occupied it, and somehow Jessica still couldn't quite believe that one of them was Roy.

Her Roy.

Butterflies began to flutter in her stomach at the thought of how close he was.

Jessica walked over to the mirror and studied her reflection.

The woman looking back at her was familiar. Thirty-eight years old. Brown hair pulled into a high ponytail. Makeup still intact after the evening's excitement. A woman who had spent years becoming very good at appearing as though she knew exactly what she was doing.

At work, Jessica was often the person other people looked toward when something went wrong. A difficult client? Ask Jessica. A complicated legal question? Jessica would have an answer. A room full of people arguing? Give her ten minutes and she'd probably have everyone organized. Confidence came naturally to her in almost every part of life.

Except this.

Jessica glanced down at the clothes she'd chosen to wear that evening. As she began to unbutton her cream-coloured blouse, she wished she had dressed up like the rest of the girlfriends. Confidence could only get her so far, especially now that she was about to enter territory that caused a flutter of nerves low in her stomach.

Sex.

The word alone seemed almost embarrassingly powerful. She was thirty-eight years old. She had an adult daughter. She was a successful lawyer. She had been married. And yet, when it came to actually being intimate with a man she cared about, Jessica felt surprisingly inexperienced.

Charles had been her only real partner. For all practical purposes, her entire sexual history belonged to a single relationship. By the time their marriage had fallen apart, Ava had still been small. Charles had eventually admitted that he was attracted to men, confessed that he'd been cheating on Jessica, and left.

Jessica had spent years rebuilding herself afterward. The divorce had hurt. The betrayal had hurt more. Eventually, though, the pain had become something she could put away. A chapter of her life that was finished.

What she hadn't expected was how little opportunity she'd have to write another chapter. There had been dates. A few possibilities. Nothing that lasted. Nothing that made her feel the way Roy did.

And now she was standing in her bedroom, preparing to be intimate with him while three other women she had only met that evening were downstairs.

It was ridiculous.

It was wonderful.

It was terrifying.

Jessica laughed softly at herself.

"Get a grip."

The woman in the mirror didn't look particularly convinced.

Her mind wandered back to the beginning of the evening. Ava had been the most stressful part. Not because her daughter had reacted badly, but because Jessica hadn't been prepared to talk to her about their plans, about the potential for their house to become a home for all of them, together. Would Ava think her mother was moving too quickly? Or worse, would Ava get a bad opinion of Roy?

"So they're all his girlfriends, too?"

"Yes."

"All three?"

"Yes."

Ava had stared at her for several seconds. Then she'd shrugged.

"Okay."

Jessica had nearly laughed.

"That's it?"

"What am I supposed to say?"

"I don't know. Something?"

"I mean, it's weird, Mom. Obviously. All of you, grown women, having a sleepover? Kind of weird. But whatever excuse you need to have Roy over for the night, that's fine. You do you."

Once again, Jessica had underestimated Ava. While her daughter had expressed misgivings about Roy the day before, she hadn't protested when Jessica wanted to take things to the next level. Ava trusted her mother's judgement, and Jessica couldn't have been more proud.

Even when she was introducing Roy's other girlfriends, Ava had been warm and inviting, not standoffish as some girls her age could be. It had been, in fact, surprisingly easy.

Elaine had been maternal without becoming overbearing. Within minutes, she and Ava had been discussing schools, work and the absurd difficulties of raising children who insisted on becoming adults.

Zara had been... well... Zara. Within ten minutes, Ava knew more about Warhammer than she had probably ever intended to learn.

Michelle had been the biggest surprise. The two women were almost the same age, but their lives couldn't have been more different. Michelle was already working two jobs and saving for school, while Ava was only beginning to figure out what she wanted from adulthood. Yet somehow, they had clicked. Even without Roy in their lives, she could see Michelle and Ava becoming friends.

Jessica had watched them all sitting together in the living room, laughing over something Zara had said, and felt an unexpected warmth in her chest. Maybe this could work. Maybe all of it could work.

Jessica stepped out of her jeans, turned away from the mirror, and sat on the edge of her bed. Downstairs, another round of laughter erupted. Soon, though, the house would quiet down.

The others had already been remarkably gracious when Jessica had finally asked the question.

"Would everyone mind if Roy and I spent the night together?"

There had been no jealousy. No awkwardness.

"Of course not," Elaine had answered with a smile.

Michelle had practically beamed.

"Your house. Your rules."

Zara had immediately added, "Also, honestly, I think it's adorable."

Jessica had laughed at that. The permission had mattered more than she'd expected. Not because she needed anyone's approval. She was a grown woman and could make her own decisions. But there was something reassuring about knowing that the other women weren't waiting downstairs, wondering when their turn would come. They genuinely wanted Jessica to have this.

Tonight was hers.

And Roy was hers.

At least for tonight.

Jessica stood again. That thought brought the nerves back. She had spent the entire evening feeling as though she belonged in a room with these women. She had spoken confidently. Laughed easily. Made conversation. Welcomed everyone into her home. Now she was alone in her bedroom waiting for Roy, and suddenly she felt twenty years younger. Maybe younger than that.

The woman who had walked into courtrooms without the slightest doubt in her ability to dismantle an opposing argument was currently wondering whether she would know what to do if Roy looked at her the wrong way.

A soft knock came at the door. Jessica's heart jumped.

"Come in."

The door opened. Roy stepped inside. For a moment, Jessica simply looked at him. He was still dressed much as he had been earlier, although his clothes were slightly rumpled from the evening. He looked tired. Happy. A little uncertain.

And incredibly attractive.

Roy wasn't the sort of man Jessica would once have imagined herself being attracted to. He was short. He carried more weight than any other man she'd admired. His hair had begun to recede, giving his hairline a shape she might once have described as distinctly unromantic.

Once.

Because standing there now, looking at the man she loved, Jessica couldn't imagine wanting anyone else. His body wasn't merely something she had learned to overlook, a compromise in order to make the relationship work.

She loved it.

All of it.

The softness around his middle. The solid shape of his shoulders. The way his shirt stretched slightly across his stomach. The imperfections that made him look like a real man instead of some carefully constructed fantasy.

Jessica found herself smiling.

Roy noticed.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"That didn't look like nothing."

She stepped closer to her man.

"I was just thinking that you're very handsome."

Roy gave her an uncertain laugh.

"You're allowed to lie to me, you know."

"I don't lie."

"You're a lawyer."

"Exactly. I'm professionally trained to argue."

"That's not the same thing."

Jessica smiled.

"No. It isn't."

She reached for him. Her fingers settled against his chest. The simple contact sent a strange little thrill through her. She could feel his warmth beneath her palm. Could feel the steady movement of his breathing. For once, Jessica didn't feel the need to say something clever. She simply wanted to touch him.

"I've been nervous," she admitted.

"Nervous?" Roy's expression changed immediately.

"Very."

That seemed to surprise him.

"Why?"

"Because I'm not actually very good at this," Jessica said as she laughed softly.

"At what?"

She looked into his eyes.

"Being vulnerable."

The admission surprised her. Roy had that way with her, getting to the truth, opening the back door, and letting it slip out.

"You don't have to be anything," Roy said softly, placing his hand over hers.

Jessica smiled.

"That's easy for you to say."

"Why?"

"Because you're not the one standing here wondering whether she remembers how any of this works."

Roy's expression softened.

"We don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with," he said, his expression softening further. "Besides, I'm sure it'll all come back to you."

"Come back to me?" she said as she laughed. "I think it's a little more complicated than that."

"It doesn't have to be," he answered. "Whatever you want, however far you want to go, I'll be fine with it."

"I know."

Jessica leaned closer. The nervousness remained, but it had changed. It was no longer the feeling of wanting to escape. It was anticipation. She wanted this. More than she'd expected. More than she'd realized until this exact moment.

Her fingers moved to the buttons to his shirt.

One.

Then another.

Roy watched her quietly. The attention made Jessica's stomach flutter again. Slowly, she slipped the shirt from his shoulders and let it fall onto the floor.

She was suddenly very aware of herself, of him, of his proximity. The bedroom seemed warmer. Roy didn't say anything. Jessica appreciated that. There was no exaggerated compliment. No attempt to turn the moment into something theatrical.

Just his eyes on her.

She reached down and unbuckled his belt.

For a second, she hesitated. Then moved on to his button, then zipper. Roy's expression made her smile.

"Still think I'm nervous?"

"Yes."

"Good."

"Good?"

"Means I'm not the only one."

That earned a quiet laugh. Jessica stepped closer until there was almost no space between them. The confidence she'd been missing downstairs began returning, but it wasn't the same kind of confidence she carried into the courtroom. This was something softer. Something more personal. She wasn't taking control. She was choosing to let herself be seen, be vulnerable, be with him.

Roy's hands settled gently against her waist.

Jessica closed her eyes for a moment. This was the man she had fallen in love with. The man who had somehow entered her life and rearranged everything. The man whose other girlfriends were downstairs, happily talking with her daughter as though this strange new family had existed forever.

It should have been impossible for a woman her age, at this point in her life, to fall head-over-heels in love with a man seemingly out of nowhere. Yet somehow, standing in her bedroom with Roy's hands around her waist, Jessica thought it might be the most natural thing in the world.

"I love you," she whispered.

Roy's answer came without hesitation.

"I love you too."

Jessica opened her eyes. For perhaps the first time all evening, there was no lawyer. No mother. No careful, composed woman who always knew what came next.

There was simply Jessica.

A woman in love.

A woman who was nervous.

A woman who wanted this man more than she had expected to want anyone again.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

The first kiss was gentle. Almost tentative. Then Jessica smiled against his lips and pulled him closer. Whatever happened next, she decided, she didn't need to know in advance. For once, Jessica could let someone else lead.

Roy kissed her again.

Together, they moved towards the bed.