Undignified Investigation

Velma crawled across the dusty floor of the haunted house, peering underneath cabinets and behind curtains.

Nothing.

She checked beneath an old armchair.

Nothing.

She carefully examined the body of a grandfather clock.

Still nothing.

“This is becoming increasingly suspicious.”

She crawled to the next room and studied the edge of the carpet with her magnifying glass.

“Come out, you ridiculous trousers.”

Silence.

Velma frowned.

“I've considered the possibility that you simply vanished into thin air.”

She looked underneath a table.

“But frankly, I find that unlikely.”

She sat back on her heels and folded her arms.

“The evidence suggests something far more deliberate.”

She glanced down at herself.

“My pants are hiding from me.”

A pause.

“And my underwear has apparently chosen to express solidarity.”

Velma sighed.

“I strongly disapprove of coordinated insubordination among articles of clothing.”

She picked up her magnifying glass again and resumed crawling.

“Fine. If they want to play hide-and-seek, they should at least have the courtesy to leave clues.”

She became all too aware of the cold air brushing against her exposed, shapely behind.

“Jinkies. This is the most undignified investigation I've ever conducted.”