Twisted Logic & Self-Reflection

Zoe slammed her bedroom door and threw herself onto her bed. She hadn’t felt like this since she was a teenager and she knew it. Her hormones were all over the place, she was tired, angry, horny, embarrassed, scared… her body ached, her ass was sore, her chest was cold, her hair was wet and her pussy was on fire.

Physically and mentally she was a mess.

Zoe rolled onto her back with tears in her eyes even as she brought her legs up, spread her thighs and started to rub her pussy again. She tried to go slower, to be more controlled than the humiliating spectacle she’d just made of herself downstairs; making massaging, teasing little circles with her fingers. Her pussy was still red and hot but it felt good to touch herself still, even if it ached.

Zoe blushed brighter, clutching at her comforter with a free hand as she petulantly played over what Katie had said,

Get control of myself?! ...How? When I’m being controlled by my collar?!

Zoe sucked on her cheek, letting out a soft coo of pleasure as she tried to soothe her body and relax herself. She just needed to do it, like a comforting habit, like sucking her thumb as a child, it felt good to do it… it centred her to do it…

She wasn’t sure how long she lay there, staring at the ceiling and playing out the argument again and again, trying to think of something else she could’ve said, or another way she could’ve said it…

This isn’t my fault!

She doesn’t know what it’s like to be a Ponygirl!

She's never run a day in her life!

It had become a battle of wills for Zoe because she needed Katie to be wrong.

Katie had accused her of not thinking, she’d basically called her stupid and slow, and she’d told her the collar wouldn’t let her cum. She’d prove Katie wrong… Zoe's twisted logic told her that she just needed to orgasm… If she could orgasm, then Katie was wrong about that, and if she was wrong about that, then she was wrong about the rest of it – if Zoe could cum then it meant she did have self-control… she wasn’t stupid… she wasn’t slow… and this wasn’t all her fault…

She doesn’t know what it’s like – she doesn’t understand what it’s like to be trapped like this… to be a Ponygirl – to have to run like my life depends on it. To not be able to wear clothes… to have to wear this stupid harness… to be humiliated every second of every day…

Zoe’s fingers worked faster now, and she arched her back, moaning softly to herself as she felt the straps of her harness pulling tighter around her.

“Yes…” The girl moaned, hissing softly to herself as she reached the very edge…

“Orgasm lock enabled. Good Ponygirls don’t use their hands.”

“NO!” Zoe’s eyes flew open and she groaned. I can’t use my hands!

Awkwardly Zoe pulled herself into a sitting position on the edge of her bed, pulling her left foot up and under her, so the ridge of her heel sat against her overheated pussy. She didn’t care how humiliating it was, how **** she was… she needed to orgasm… she had to…

Is this what you want?!

Zoe started to hump against her own foot, her already exhausted thighs and hips screaming out in desperation at being **** into repetitive motion again.

“Please! Please!” She moaned, tipping her head back as she rocked her bed harder and harder. She felt it, the crest again… building and building… she was so close…

“Just stop Zoe! It’s not going to let you…”

“Orgasm lock enabled.”

Zoe screamed, grabbing at the pillows on her bed and throwing them across the room in a tantrum.

Katie was right – of course she was right. Zoe couldn’t make herself orgasm - she was stupid. She didn’t have any self-control… Stupid idiot Ponygirl…

Emotionally broken and physically shattered, Zoe slipped from her bed to the floor, whimpering as the straps of her harness caught on the way down, tugging at her naked body – a constant reminder of her new life. She reached up with her hands, slick with her own needy juices, and tried to take hold of the collar, tugging at it on her neck as though she might be able to rip it off.

“What do you want?! What do you want?” She wailed to the ceiling, already knowing the terrifying answer. It didn’t want anything… this was what she wished for. Motivation. If she ran fast enough she could orgasm, if she didn’t, she couldn’t… that was all there was…

A carrot and a stick for the stupid little Ponygirl…

She sat in a panting daze on the floor for what felt like eternity, waiting, pleading with her body to calm down - to come down from the edge again. She couldn't make it happen any other way, she couldn't orgasm - she'd been a slow, useless ponygirl, a bad girl... and now she had to sit and wait for her arousal to burn itself out on its own...

Zoe starting crying again, lost in her own head, what was she really mad about? That she’d had her ability to cum ripped from her? That Katie’s plan to get her clothes back hadn’t worked? That her life was a living nightmare? That she was a ponygirl?

No, deep in the pit of her stomach Zoe knew that she was frustrated because Katie was right… she was stupid… she did fuck it up… she hadn’t been thinking…

She hadn’t been thinking when she’d made the wish…

She hadn’t been thinking when she’d started playing with the button…

She hadn’t been thinking when she ran off too fast…

She hadn’t been thinking when she’d run into that old man…

And now she was being punished for it, and Zoe whimpered as a tiny voice told her that she deserved to be punished for it.

She cringed, sniffing through her tears. Guilt and regret and shame swirling through her. She needed help… she needed Katie… I can’t do this on my own.

She remembered the kiss they’d shared right here the night before and felt butterflies that only intensified her guilt. She remembered the way the blonde had promised to stay with her, to help no matter what. She’d slept in her bed, she’d brushed her hair, she’d made her food and looked after her... and what had Zoe done but throw it back in her face just now? She wasn’t just stupid. She was a bad friend.

I’m a bad girl.

Zoe sniffed back more tears and wiped her eyes, feeling like she’d spent most of the last few days crying in self-pity. She just needed to hear a friendly voice… for someone to comfort her; she needed to call her Mom. Meekly, Zoe pulled herself towards her bedside table, hugging her knees up to her chest as she sat in the nook between her bed and the wall and reached up for her phone.

Switching on the screen, the redhead blinked.

Something was wrong, but she couldn’t quite understand what. She knew what her phone screen was meant to look like… and it was right… except… none of it made any sense…

The clock was just symbols she didn’t recognise... clicking into her phone book was like someone had changed the language setting on her phone to Japanese… she couldn’t read a single name… except… it was still English… wasn’t it? Zoe could still see the letters; they were just entirely alien to her.

She wiped her eyes, sitting up more urgently as she tapped through to messages…

What?

Even looking at that much text made Zoe’s head hurt – she saw texts she’d sent, messages she’d written, messages where she remembered exactly what they said… only now they were meaningless.

“I… I can’t read?” she croaked, her voice hoarse from crying, her eyes filled with tears.

Fear and anxiety growing, Zoe opened a web browser to search and stopped, her fingers hovering over the keyboard when it appeared as her mind blanked. She couldn’t do it… she had no idea what any of the buttons did. She hit one in the middle, and another… and a third… watching the box on the screen filling with letters she didn’t understand.

After a minute of mashing the buttons helplessly the page refreshed and Zoe got a results page, or, she assumed she had, because she couldn’t understand anything she was looking at…

“No… no no no!” She whimpered, tossing down her phone and jumping up to look at her alarm clock.

Zoe gasped, her bottom lip trembling as she stared at the display – the numbers were just meaningless symbols to her. The redhead sobbed quietly to herself, collapsing back onto her bed with a defeated whimper… another day… another piece of her humanity stripped away.

Of course I can’t read… animals can’t read…

Stupid… Idiot… Ponygirl…