Twink

The next day, Cloud steered clear of Seventh Heaven. He didn't want the third degree over the last five years. Any thoughts of the past led to debilitating pain for Cloud. So he walked the other way, stumbling into a blonde man. He was only 5 feet tall, lean and pale and hairless. He appraised Cloud.

"Candidate detected. Performing physical analysis. Excellent cardiovascular health...bone structure and muscle balance ... substandard endowment. My name is Chadley, but you should call me Chad. I'm an Intern with Shinra's Research and Development Division. If you use this assess materia, you can help me develop new forms of materia."

"I'm not interested in working for Shinra," Cloud said, walking away.

"You should know I seek to undermine Shinra. Do this first task for me and I will reward you," Chad said.

"I'll hold you to that," Cloud said.

***

He cast the assess spell on his adversary...

Creature Name: Wererat

Weakness: Everything

Strategy: Anything: It's a fucking rat.

Cloud lifted the Buster sword. The materia told no lies.

***

The 18 year old twink regarded Cloud with vacant eyes. "Cloud. You were the first person to complete this assignment. Please accept this auto-cure materia. Are their any supplemental materials you would like?

"Do you...do you have any risque pictures of Tifa Lockhart?" Cloud asked hesitantly. It looked like Chad was processing something. It was eerie.

"Such pictures are freely available, but you would not enjoy them. I will send you pictures you find sexually stimulating instead, Cloud."