Trying on different personas.

Jane greedily dug into her manicotti while Ryan picked at his lasagna. She figured he was still recovering from their weird interlude, so she apologized again.

"I'm not sorry, but I do apologize for what I did earlier. I knew it would freak you out - did I push it too far?"

He looked up from his dish. "Not quite, but you definitely pushed it. You're right that being so carefree gives you a certain power over me. I'd like to continue to experiment, but I want an assurance that you won't do that again."

She gulped down a mouthful of pasta and washed it down with wine. "Come on, man, what good are assurances from me? You know I don't care about promises, right? Let's just say that I'll try to reel back my behavior. I don't want to upset you! I want to be helpful."

"Well, we have gathered some interesting data. I think your insights into your own condition are very valuable, and I'm glad I chose someone with such keen introspection."

Jane basked in the compliment for a second before forking another bit of manicotti into her mouth. After a second, she spoke thoughtfully.

"You know, I've never been a very touchy-feely person. I'm not much of a hugger or anything like that. But I touched that waiter on a whim earlier and it felt incredible. I wonder if I can just start being that way more?"

He put down his silverware, curiosity piqued.

"Pretending to be unhappy made me realize something. Think of something you'd like to change about yourself. Maybe you want to exercise more, or read more, or swear less. Why don't you do that? It's because it's painful, or unpleasant, or uncomfortable. But I can't feel any of those things! Yesterday, I would have felt awkward just touching our waiter like that but today it felt great."

Ryan pondered this. "So if you wanted to pick up a skill - like a new language or a sport you've never played - you can just do it. No need for self-discipline or anything because spending three hours a day practicing the oboe or whatever will be enjoyable."

She laughed and reached out to boop his nose. "It's even deeper than that! If I wanted to behave differently, there'd be nothing stopping me. I'm usually very extroverted but I can be shy. I don't normally avoid conflict but if I decide to be more passive, I just can be."

He chewed thoughtfully and swallowed. "Because anyone can technically behave however they want. It's just uncomfortable to behave in a way that goes against their personality and mood."

"Like being on your best behavior at synagogue, or avoiding politics at thanksgiving, or making small talk with strangers at a party," Jane offered.

Ryan was starting to fully understand. "Those are all things people do because the situation calls for it. But they don't like to do it because it's unpleasant to alter your behavior. If I'm introverted, I can still go to a party and talk to people for hours. I just don't do it because I don't like to."

"But I like everything. So if I want to, say, be flirtier..." She leaned forward, exposing her generous cleavage, and slid her hand forward to meet his.

"I used to hate flirting. I hated trying to act sexy and fun. It didn't feel like me, you know? But now it's no problem at all. In fact, it just occurred to me - I'm pansexual! This morning I was as hetero as it gets, but now I'd love to bury my face in a pussy. Or anything! I can be a lesbian, a vegetarian, a neat freak, or a party girl. None of it makes any difference since I'm incapable of being uncomfortable or unhappy."

She took his hand in hers and flashed a playful smile. "So what should I be, Ryan?"