"Okay? Of course I'm not fucking okay!" you wanted to tell him. Currently facing the possibility of becoming a father at17 with your best friend. There was really nothing okay about any of it.
Despite how calm Randall now appeared... if calm was even the word ("in denial" perhaps being slightly more appropriate), and despite the odd sense of achievement you felt at actually managing to put a baby inside him ahead of the competition, there really was no getting away from the fact that this whole situation was royally fucked up!
How would your mom react to this new, or your dad? They'd hit the roof for sure. And what about college and all that other stuff? You'd not really wanted to think about it earlier, but Randall was right, that was what you'd been planning to do after high school, before any of this mess. Wouldn't becoming a father at such a young age completely ruin any chances of getting the career, or the life that you'd wanted? Provided of course he actually wanted to keep it. ...Maybe he'll want an abortion. It did seem like the most obvious solution to your problem, but even still, the thought of that too terrified you. It was your baby after all. A part of you. Destroying it seemed almost as unthinkable as actually having it.
Fuck! you groaned, taking another drink and looking up at your friend. Not knowing quite how to express all this too him. Especially not now.
"Nah, I'm fine. I'll be fine," you assured him. Trying not to look him directly in the eye as you did.
Randall wasn't so easily convinced though. Reaching over and taking your glass from you to stop you from having any more. "Are you sure, dude?" he pushed. "Cause I know it's a pretty big deal, all this..."
You shrugged. "Itsh like you said. Nothing we can do about it till we speak to the doctors." Grabbing for his XBox controller then and sticking the console on. Needing some sort of distraction right now. Anything, to stop yourself from thinking about it all and going insane. "Lets just have a game of something for now, huh? I feel like capping some noobs."
Obviously realizing that he wasn't going to get anything out of you this way (and presumably not really knowing what to say either), Randall relented in his questioning and sat down beside you. Picking up a controller himself. The two of you then immersing yourself in the world on Call of Duty online for the next several hours. Both of you doing your best to pretend like it was business as usual, when it clearly wasn't. Not only that, but the large quantity of **** you'd consumed in such a short period of time also soon began to take effect, and before you knew it, you'd started to slowly drift out of consciousness. Falling fast asleep in the middle of playing.
.....
You awoke some time later, feeling slightly groggy and still a little drunk. Noticing that Randall was no longer sitting beside you and the XBox had long been switched off. Looking at your watch to see what time it was and letting out a groan, you found that it was now a little after nine. Having been asleep for a good four hours.
Crap!, you thought, scrambling quickly for your phone. Having not mentioned anything to your mom about being out this late, and finding sure enough, a text from her asking if you'd be home for dinner, sent more than three hours before. This naturally meaning that you'd be in for an earful when you did finally return.
For now though, you had to locate Randall. Calling out, "Dude? Where are you?" Your mouth feeling rather dry and tasting absolutely horrible.
"Right here," he answered a moment later. Appearing from the hallway. Now decked out in a pair of gray yoga pants to go with his over sized t-shirt. It almost appearing that - now that you knew he was definitely pregnant - the curvature of his belly was so much more apparent. Feeling rather idiotic that neither of you had noticed sooner.
Rubbing at your eyes as he walked towards you and pulling yourself up off the couch, you awkwardly chuckled, "Guess I feel asleep, huh?" To which he replied, "You guessed right. You were out like a baby..." Suddenly realizing his rather poor choice of words and blushing. "Uh, you... you know, what I mean."
"Yeah..."
It seemed that you were just going to have to get used to hearing that word now and immediately picturing the little life that was now growing within your best friend's stomach. It being so incredibly bizarre to imagine. Randall actually had a baby inside of him. It seemed so impossible, even though he was now a woman. Having never imagined that your brain would have to try and process something as strange as that back when the two of you had first met in kindergarten all those years ago.
It had to though, and pushing your way past this temporally awkwardness, you thought it best to apologize for your earlier actions. Telling him then that you were sorry for drinking all that booze, before drawing attention to your phone. "Looks like I missed a text from my mom while I was out."
"Oh don't worry, I saw that," Randall informed you. "Gave her a call earlier. Told you you wouldn't be back till later." Much to your relief. Miss. Card and her 101 telephone excuses striking once more!
"Thanks," you told him, with a smile, "I owe you." Before suddenly having a panicked little thought. "You... you didn't tell her about being pregnant, did you?" Him and your mother were after all, kind of buddy-buddy now (in the loosest of terms possible), so it wasn't completely out of the realms of possibility. Added to the fact that Randall's most recent development would very much effect her too. She's a Grandmother now for God sake!
His reply, thankfully, was an immediate "No." Almost laughing as he said it. "God no. That's the last thing we want right now!"
You didn't think he would. But then again, you didn't really know what was going on in his head right now. Nor your own for that matter.
"I'll wait and see what Dr. Kerry and Saunders say first. Then we can start to decide about telling people or not."
"Yeah. Good idea."
Although you agreed, you didn't really want to get into all this again so soon. Not feeling so great right now, and still not really knowing what to say to him either. Things might have changed a lot between the two of you in the last three months, sex-wise, but that didn't necessarily mean either of you were gonna feel immediately comfortable having discussions about family planning and what to name the baby. No, best to leave that till later.
Randall was quick to change the subject though, asking you then, "You want something to eat? I made some pasta. Couldn't really stomach it myself right now to be honest, so there's plenty left."
Thinking it wise to get something in your stomach, if only to help sober you up a little before you returned home, you grabbed a bowl from the kitchen and sat down to eat. Neither of you really saying much as Randall sat there opposite you, sipping away at a cup of coffee and occasionally giving you the odd little glance. Wearing a distance, yet thoughtful expression on his beautiful face. As if he were there in body, but his thoughts were far, far away.
You couldn't really blame him for this truth be told. For as rough a time as you were having with all this, it had to be way worse for him. The baby was inside his belly. He (depending on what was decided) would have to give birth to it, and feed it and all those other things that you took for a granted mothers did for their children. Mothers... Randall was going to be a mother. What a surreal thought. There being nothing even comparably between him and your own mom... well, apart from the obvious sexual characteristics. Randall was goofy and impulsive and carefree. Your mom was most definitely not. And even though he'd learned to be more responsible in his role as Miss. Card, the teacher, you still didn't see that translating to motherhood and raising a baby. How was he honestly gonna cope? How were either of you gonna cope?
This was the exact thought that played on your mind for the next several hours, after saying goodbye to Randall and heading home again on foot. Telling him that the fresh air would do you good.
While a part of you did want to actually stay and be there for your friend, it was just too awkward right now. For him and for you. Instead, you both agreed that you would give each other a little space for a while and he would call you once he'd set up an appointment to see the doctors. Which would hopefully be early some time next week. If it was any later than that you were honestly unsure how you would cope. Having such a heavy weight now baring down around your shoulders and having no one you could tell ...or rather, no one that you wanted to tell. Playing things off as if they were perfectly normal when you encountered your mom, wanting to know as always what you'd been up to over at "Laura's" and how she was getting on. Really not being in the mood for indulging her this particular time.
And so, fobbing her off as fast as you could (not wanting her to notice you'd been drinking either), you headed straight for your room. Once inside, you collapsed face down onto your pillow and awaited Randall's call..
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