Try to assert authority

"Look, I don't know what the game is," you say, folding your arms and trying to look stern, "But it's really stupid, and..."

"I caught him stealing a carrot, Rasna" says Alexis, smugly, "See? He tried to hide it up his bum."

"Oh my," laughs the shopkeeper - whose name is Rasna, apparently, "Such a clever thief. Well, the police will have to be informed..."

"I'll call them!" says Alexis, brightly, tapping away at the keys of her mobile phone.

"Hey, now wait a minute.." you splutter.

Alexis pauses, and they both look at you expectantly.

"This is bullshit!" you protest, very conscious of the carrot up your butt, "Look, I didn't steal anything, she dragged me out here and.. violated me!"

The two women laugh, and the shopkeeper shakes her head and says - "Hmm. I wonder who the police will believe. Of course... we could keep this between ourselves. You will have to be punished, of course."

"Yeah," says Alexis, smirking wickedly at you, "He is very.. rude. He needs teaching a lesson. How about those girls of yours, Rasna?"

The plump Indian woman laughs.

"The twins? Oh, I'm not sure that level of punishment is necessary... that said, it does calm them down to have a little something to play with now and again. Otherwise, they do act out so..."

"You think I was rough on you?" asks Alexis, teasingly, "Once Rasna's girls are done with you, you won't be able to sit down for a week. You won't know what your name is. You should see the state they left the last guy they got their claws into in. That'll teach you some manners."

"They're growing girls. They get excitable, is all."

This is insane. It seems your friends stories about this town were more true than you'd ever imagined. But what are you getting into here? You already feel well out of your depth. But... Indian twins? Christ...

Alexis disturbs your thoughts by stepping up and tweaking your carrot.

"You upset me," she says, "We could have had fun, but you spoiled it for yourself. Now you've got to face the consequences. Now, are you going to take it like a man, or should I call the police and let them sort it out?"