Try to Collar Yourself... like an idiot

After considering the possibility that collaring yourself might give you superpowers, you spend a solid twenty minutes trying to fit the collar on your own neck. For some unknown reason it keeps slipping off just as you are about to close it every time. It almost gives off the sensation of magnets repelling each other, but that wouldn't make sense since the collar is meant to close on something. Right?

Eventually the clerk comes back to find you on the floor, struggling to squeeze the collar shut while accidentally strangling yourself with the leash. He starts laughing his ass off as you struggle to free yourself.

"Seriously, I think you might be a worse at this than the baboon arseology guy," He wipes a tear from his eye and motions to a door, "Now are you coming or what?"