Trudy

Debbi was relieved to be wearing clothes for this debate, at least in the beginning. Diane and Jeff had insisted that she wear a sleeveless red blouse, black pencil skirt, Louboutin heels, and absolutely nothing else - not even underwear! Then she would, in due course during the debate, expose the "naked truth" of the government and strip off right in front of the audience. Debbi saw little use in fighting this, but still had many more gastrointestinal butterflies than when she did mere calendars.

The debate was held at the Crown Jewels, a place Debbi had begun to know so well. She arrived with the two main candidates about twenty minutes in advance, and took her podium as Grosmere and Lewart did theirs. After a few minutes of standing around and waiting for the debate to start, Debbi was horrified when none other than Trudy took the remaining podium assigned for the Lib Dems. 'Oh dear', she thought to herself.

Whilst her current outfit was certainly modest compared to the nothing to which she had become accustomed to in the course of her campaign, it was nothing compared to the getup Trudy had donned. A black jacket over a white blouse and cravat, complete with a black skirt and hose, contrasted beautifully with Debbi's own bare arms and bare legs. At least Debbi's nail polish and lipstick stuck out brightly from her olive skin.

Soon enough the moderator filed in. He was a charismatic fellow, an odd combination of both Mitchell and Webb dressed in a 70s-style suit with a fitting cigar. He took his seat before the four candidates and began.

"Ladies and gentlemen of Collingsworth South," he began, "we have assembled here today our four candidates for the general election Thursday next. From my right to left, we have for the Conservative and Unionist Party the incumbent MP, the Hon. John Edward Grosmere," he said followed by a mix of cheers and boos, "for the Labour Party, Michael Tim Lewart," with the crowd cheering and booing opposite from just a few seconds prior, "for the Liberal Democrats, Edith Gertrude Chapman," to no great reaction (except from Debbi's head - 'Edith'!? really?), "and for the Laboratory Democrats, Debra Marie Jenkins," to great fanfare and wolf-whistling whilst Debbi blushed furiously.

"To begin this debate," the moderator continued, "I've a question posed by the many pensioners of this constituency. The triple lock has been a controversial subject in British politics since its introduction. What are your parties' opinions on the matter?"

"Well," Grosmere began, "the Tories make a great point of caring for our elderly, and we intend to use the triple lock to that end."

"On the contrary," Lewart interjected, "the triple lock has resulted in a stagnating economy and prioritised the old at the expense of the working young. Labour policy is quite clear on relaxing it to reorient the economy."

"I must agree with Mr. Lewart," Trudy continued, "the Lib Dems are proud to unveil a twenty-point programme on the future of pensions in England and Wales, with a further five points on Scotland and two more for Northern Ireland. This white paper, and the ancillary statistics collected in its production, can be found in our manifesto and on our website."

"Why have three locks when you can have four?" Debbi piped up, "the Laboratory Democrats will replace the triple lock with a quadruple lock!" to great mirth in the audience, an indifferent glance from Grosmere and Lewart, and a deathly glare from Trudy.

"Oh," Trudy piped up, "and what would the fourth lock be?"

"Well, the evaluation of all the metrics, of course," Debbi piped back; wow, her IT nothingspeak training must really be paying off!

"Right, next question," the moderator asked, "what are your parties' opinions on reform of the House of Lords?"

"I think it's quite fine as it is," Grosmere said blithely.

"I have my opinions on the matter," Lewart said as an ardent abolitionist on the left of the party, "but I believe that is if of little matter in this current climate, and believe that Labour agree for the most part."

"We," Trudy said with some glee, "are committed to reforming the House of Lords into a fully elected body by phasing out the last of the hereditary lords and lords spiritual, then phasing out the appointed lords by a tiered attrition process, and then having elections by panels of various stakeholders in British society." Having written a report on the Lords in college, Trudy was well in her element here.

"The Lab Dems," Debbi piped up, "will make every Englishman, Englishwoman, and even Englishchild, a lord, lady, and lordette. Everyone ought to have a voice in the government, so we believe raising everyone to the peerage would bring that vision to fruition." Trudy sliced Debbi open with her eyes, and even the other two were beginning to tire of the Lab Dems' shenanigans. Diane, Jeff, and Carol, on the other hand, had secured seats in the front row just behind the moderator, and were looking at Debbi with excited grins. Diane gestured for Debbi to begin the second phase of the operation. Kieron, who had turned out to support his mate Trudy, was right beside them and looking at them in disgust.

"We're not here, however, to talk about such niceties as pensions or Parliament," Debbi began to reorient the conversation, "we're here to expose the truth of the government," as she began to unbutton her blouse, "the 'naked truth', if you will," as she bared her bosom and the room went silent. "Quite frankly, their record is appalling," she dropped her blouse on the floor and reached for the zipper of her skirt. "Did you know that the rates have not changed one bit since they've acquired office," she unzipped her skirt, and bracing herself let it fall to the floor to expose her nude glory to the gasping room. "All told, I think it's time for a change," she said with the most seductive voice she could muster.

"This is an outrage," Trudy banged her podium, her face red with rage. "You can't disrespect democracy like this! Women like me have had a rough go of obtaining office, and bimbos like yourself think you can get a free pass with your bodies. What rubbish! What execrable rubbish!" she stormed off with tears welling in her eyes, Kieron jumping from his seat to run over backstage and comfort her.

"Do you think we've got it?" Jeff asked Diane.

"Well, we've certainly got not-last in Collingsworth South," Diane replied, "but we still need a slogan. Carol, start your phone."

Carol started recording everything and the three started chanting "Debb-i! Debb-i! Debb-i! Debb-i!" soon others started joining the chant which soon filled the whole room. Debbi couldn't help but blush, while Carol finished everything and uploaded the video to Twitter with the hashtags "#NakedDebbi #LabDems #LaboratoryDemocrats".