Tries his hardest

Jack looked down the barrel of the gun, now unafraid of the bullets it held. He looked up at the criminal and did what would either be the best or the last decision of his life. "Listen man, my life sucks anyways. I don't care about your stupid fucking bullets. But, I'll still go get you your money. Just let me do one thing first." He reached under the counter and slowly pulled out a permanent marker that he knew was stored there.

"What is it. No funny buisness, ok?"

"Yeah, sure man. Just let me sign your arm with this permanent marker."

"Wha- why? I mean, I guess that's fine, as long as I get my money." The criminal rolled up his sleeve and held his arm out for Jack to sign. Jack signed it hastily, knowing he was working on a clock. The criminal piped up again. "So now are you going to get my money? I mean I guess it's technically your money because you own me, but still-"

Jack cut him off. "I need you to listen to me very carefully. Stand off to the side here, out of sight, OK? In just a few seconds, Hawkeye is going to burst through that door. I need you to come up behind her, and grab her for long enough for me to sign her with this marker, ok?"

The criminal walked over to a corner, and waited. Just then, as excpected, a boxing glove arrow shattered the large glass window that sat adjacent to the door. The superheroine herself sprinted in after it, ready for a fight.

"Uh, excuse me, is there something I can help you with?" Jack asked, while waving her over to the counter.

She slowly walked up to where Jack was standing. "I uh, heard a report of a theft around here. I suspect it's a guy I've been trying to catch for a while, his name is-"

Just then, the criminal lunged towards her, and managed to grab her from behind and secure her arms.

"Uh- let me go you- HELP ME DUMBASS!" She did not look happy. Jack grabbed his marker, walked right up to her, and scribbled his signature on her forehead.

"It's ok, you can let her go now" Jack commanded . Hawkeye still looked ready to walk over and beat the two men up. "Hawkeye, you are not allowed to intentionally allow physical harm to come to either of us, ok?"

"Yeah, I got it, dickface."

"Oh, and you will only refer to me as master." Jack thought it might be a nice touch. He could already feel the tent in his pants growing as he looked up and down and the young girl's skintight bodysuit. Upon looking closer, he realized he knew the girl's face. He had gone to school with her, what was her name again? Kate Bishop. He could tell that she recognized him too. He had always thought she was really hot, but nothing he would call a crush or anything. She was always a little too "rich and entitled" for him anyways. Clearly though, she had only became hotter over the past few years. He stared lustfully at her ass, which might have genuinley been the hottest he had ever seen in his life. Now all he needed to figure out was what to do with it.