Toss the box out.

You decide that it was probably junked for a reason and you decide that you'd be better off just getting rid of the stuff. Who knows, the stuff might cause a rash or rectal bleeding or who knows what else.

You toss the box in the dumpster and go on your lunch break. On your break, you see Dr. McKenzie and ask her out on a date. She tells you that she doesn't date co-workers. You spend the next twenty years working as Biogenetech's janitor, and when Scruffy retires, you become the head janitor.

Way to go!

The End