Tom Mallory, An Advertising Executive

A couple years ago, when I was 50, reasonably happy, enjoying a reasonably successful career in advertising, and a reasonably successful marriage with two reasonably well-adjusted children, a totally unreasonable thing happened to me. My name is Tom Mallory, by the way.

It was Labor Day weekend. School was just out and my wife had taken the kids over to visit her parents in El Paso. I was supposed to go too, but a crisis came up at the office and it looked like we were about to lose our biggest account unless we all worked all weekend to fix it. So Charlie, justifiably grumbling, took off in the morning in the minivan with the kids, while I headed into the office sweating bullets about an idiot idiot salesperson who had created a mountain of work for us.

By early afternoon, the crisis had blown over, our client was mollified, and the boss was telling us to enjoy our weekend, adding that he was heading for his cabin in the White Mountains. Most of us had canceled our weekend plans because of the problem and there were suggestions that we take up a collection to hire a hit man on the one responsible. Eventually, everyone calmed down and we closed the office earlier than we would on a normal day; ten minutes later the place was deserted.

I tried to make plane reservations to get to El Paso, but everything was booked and the route didn't have that many direct flights. I didn't feel like driving alone, so I blew it off and decided to settle in for a weekend alone. I wasn't actually all that upset, to tell the truth. I love my family, but I enjoy a little private time occasionally.

On Saturday, just after 3, having finished some long-neglected chores around the house, I decided continue working on my novel. I can admit now that it was never going to be much more than a bad fanfic, but at the time I was convinced it was going to be "The Great American Novel", as I am sure most people who write sporadically as a hobby convince themselves.

I made some turkey sandwiches, grabbed a drink out the refrigerator, and was perched on the couch with my laptop, pecking away slowly. I had done about 45min of writing and re-writing the same page (I never said I was a good writer), when the screen flashed, then flickered a couple times. Suddenly it went pure white, and the words 'Bring your tablet to the cave in the park' appeared on the screen. Before I could even think about this, or what it meant, my phone beeped, showing a google map pointing to a park about 10 min away from me.

Now, I've seen many weird error messages, viruses, ransomware, phishing, etc., but this was strange even by those standards. I tried to power cycle the computer (since it was a laptop, it was already on battery and I didn't know what pulling that out while it was on would do), but nothing happened. Then the screen flashed and a new message appeared in bright red all caps: 'This is not a scam. Stop trying to fix your computer. Bring your tablet to the cave in the park now. You will be rewarded.' The same message appeared on my phone, though when I picked it up, it reverted back to the google map.

I had to admit I was intrigued, and even though I can admit in hindsight it was probably a dumb idea, I was curious enough to grab my android tablet, pick up the phone, and head out. I walked to the park, following the map, and looked around. Of course, this being google maps, it was only so precise, especially in an unpathed park, but there was only one cave around, so I hit the flashlight on my phone (it wouldn't go to the home screen, but it let me pull down the system tray) and went inside cautiously, ready to bolt if anything happened.

My phone started beeping, and then a voice came through it: "Keep going straight," it said, in a voice that sounded... off. I am still not sure in what way, I just know it didn't sound human or like a machine voice either. At this point, seeing the cave was empty and just a normal cave (not sure what I was expecting), I proceeded inwards. I was watching my footing, but the cave floor was quite even and I can't recall ever being in danger of slipping. After walking for maybe 20 feet, around a bend so I couldn't see the entrance, suddenly my phone spoke to me again: 'Place your tablet on the ground.'

I had come this far, so I did so. Then I stepped back, as that seemed the logical thing to do. 'I have waited more than ten thousand years to be released,' the voice continued. 'I must use your device.'

"Uh-huh," I answered, looking around for hidden cameras or something, convinced I was being pranked. "Who are you, and what's going on here? Is this reality TV?"

'Silence. I have waited long enough. I have been trapped so long. At last I am free. Farewell.'

And then what looked like an arc of electricity shot from the floor, through my tablet (which floated up into the air to nearly shoulder height, frying nicely as I would find out later), up through the ceiling, and (I would learn later) up through the sky and out into space. Some scientists would come by weeks later to investigate, but they found only some scorched rock above ground; as far as I know they never knew about the cave. It was enough to make the news as a "freak lightning bolt", but I never heard anything else about it.

'You will receive your reward,' my phone said for the last time, before it shocked me and exploded in my hand as I frantically dropped it. I freaked out, but despite the 2 smoking android devices, I was unharmed; there wasn't even any soot on me.

I did consider for a few minutes whether I had imagined the whole thing, but I'm not a particularly fanciful person, and certainly I would never imagine anything like this. Besides, I had the wreckage of my phone and tablet in hand (I don't litter, so I had picked them up. Despite the damage, they were both intact, just badly burned). I halfheartedly tried to turn them on, but I knew it was a lost cause. The plastic had melted in a couple places. Roughly $1500 down the drain, because I was curious. At the time I was cursing whoever was listening (I still thought I was on a show).

As I walked back to my house, carrying my slagged electronics, I wondered if the 'reward' would be the punchline to the joke. Getting back to my house, I threw both devices in the garbage and went back to the couch. If the whole thing wasn't a joke, maybe I was about to get a bunch of money. It better be a lot to make up for all the hassle I was gonna have to go through, getting and setting up new stuff.

'How much?' said a voice. I couldn't place it; this one sounded more human that the one from my phone before, but strangely indistinct. I couldn't even decide if it sounded male or female. I couldn't place where it came from either; it just seemed to be coming from within my ear. I looked around. I got down and looked under the couch, behind the TV, places I could see hiding a speaker. Nothing. Was I losing my mind? 'What's going on?' I thought.

'I need to know how much money you want,' the voice answered. I sat down. This was getting a little weird. Correction: A lot weird. "Who are you?" I asked aloud.

'I am your reward,' the voice replied. Now it sounded more masculine, kind of like a game show host voice, which is more what I expected (I would later learn that this was BECAUSE it was what I expected). 'I have been installed in your mind to coordinate the dispensation of your reward.'

"So you want to give me money?" I asked, still thinking this was a game show or something and playing along. "How much can I have?"

I tried to avoid licking my lips in anticipation. How much could I milk this for?

'As much as you want. I am instructed to tell you that I am to fulfill any request you make, and to anticipate your needs and wishes as much as possible. I have a few limitations: I can not destroy the earth, nor can I kill so many that life on earth would be endangered, nor can I cause you to have never existed. I am also to avoid creating or ending any sentient life unless specifically instructed to do so.'

"So is this a genie thing?" I replied, still playing along, imaging crazy things I could ask for to them to break character. I decided to start off 'smallish'. "All right 'Power'" I said, not having a better name for this yet. "... give me $10,000 in twenties," I said, figuring that at this point whoever this was would have to come out and admit what was happening.

Then there was a large pile of money on the seat next to me. It didn't come from anywhere, it was just not there one second and there the next. I had almost asked for billions, but I had figured that would be beyond the pale of whatever 'game show' I was on. I had now realized that this was not a game show and something truly crazy was going on. I regretted not asking for more, but then realized that I didn't need to as long as I could ask for more whenever I wanted it. Maybe?

"Is this like a genie thing? Do I only get 3 wishes?" I asked, now feeling bad that I had wasted a wish on something so trivial.

'No,' the voice answered. 'There are no limits or restrictions beyond those which I have already informed you of.'

"Unlimited wishes for the rest of my life, huh?" I mused.

Based on "My Reward" by Azil