Toasts a la Laitances

Where the demon and their cadre had been, no mirth moved to fill the empty space. Instead, the group felt the oppressive nature of the castigation the host had thrown heavy on their backs. The pall that the demon had thrown over them as a final parting gift left each member of the harem questioning their worth.

Caleb looked around at the turned-down faces; even the normally unflinching expression of Stella had taken a sour turn as the imp clutched her own wrist as she played like her collar really needed adjusting. What could he say at this point? Tell them that there was no truth in what Lucian had said? Would false platitudes assuage the feelings now crawling through their mind and allow them to deal with whatever was coming in this coming week?

Clenching and unclenching his fists, Caleb felt his chest tight. It might have only been a few seconds since Lucian had left, but those seconds stretched out like eternity, looking at the women’s conflicted faces. Feeling everything boil over, the master shook his head as his mouth opened, “So what?!”

Everyone’s focus turned to Caleb as he continued, “So what if all that is true? Is it wrong to believe you’re growing even if you’re getting a push?” He locked eyes with Maddy, who turned her gaze down before raising her clenched hands towards her face, “Maybe people needed that push, but it doesn't change the effort they put in.” He turned to Stella and Maya.

Stella’s smirk returned to her face even as Maya stayed crestfallen. The imp raised an eyebrow, “So this is your big inspirational speech? Fuck it?” There was no venom in her words, only a lilt of what might be bitter amusement.

Caleb gave a lopsided smile in return, “Yeah, I suppose it is.” He looked at Eliza and Mira, “Maybe you made mistakes…” He looked at Noemi, “Maybe you got carried away, but magic or not, does that mean you’re not responsible?” He held out his hands, “I’m not looking for anyone here to be perfect,” He touched his own chest, “I’m certainly not.”

Mira reached up towards her collar and spoke up while still looking down, “You can say that all you want, but some mistakes-”

Caleb didn’t let her finish, “Are awful, horrible, and will take effort and time to make better. But moping doesn’t do that.” He gestured to Eliza, “Isn’t that the whole motivation for why you did what you did?”

Mira shook her head, “It’s not that simple-I-”

“-Are we going to let our worst moment define the rest of our time here?” Caleb turned, surprised to see Eliza locking eyes with Mira, who stared back equally shocked. She then reached out and took Mira’s hands and looked up at the older woman.

“I don’t forgive you, but in the challenge you- you told me not to let my hate of you get in my own way. You also need to take that advice.”

Mira had tears forming at the corners of her eyes as she nodded quietly, and Eliza let go of her hands.

Caleb looked out at everyone, “Lucian thinks we’re irredeemable. He wants us to think we are our worst moments and nothing else. I have spent time living with you all these past two weeks, and I know that you’re more than that.”

Noemi grinned, “Sweet words, Camelista, you trying to get everyone to fall for you in one swoop?”

Shaking his head, the master waved his hand dismissively, “This might be a show about trying to get you all together with me, but I don’t care. What I DO care about is that you all are amazing, wonderful people. Even in moments of weakness, mistakes, when you are all at your worst…I want you all to make it out of here.”

Stella smirked and cast a look to the side, “Bet the sex doesn’t hurt though.”

Caleb's face reddened, “Putting that aside, all of you are more than your mistakes, ok?”

Amy looked over, “What about Lucian?”

Eye twitching, Caleb looked to the oni, “That and this are different things.”

“If they are, it's only because you aren’t being **** to fuck him.” Amy crossed her arms, “Caleb…I- I don’t want to undermine what you’re saying. But if you can believe that we are more than the worst things we’ve done and what happened to us…why not him?”

Caleb’s hands balled into fists, “He is making a choice, consistently and actively. It’s not the same; he doesn’t want to change or be better. He actively wishes he could be worse for that sick woman he brought here.”

Giving a noncommittal shrug, Amy frowned, “Just maybe something to think about before you let your anger at him define your time here.”

Caleb pressed her fingers against his temples and gave an exasperated sigh, “Regardless, I just…want you all to know, despite any magic and any manipulations that might be coming…we might still slip up. So instead of…brooding or self-flagellation, let's look out for each other and just try to be the best people we can be.”

Maya, who had been unmoving up to this point, turned and faced him. “What about the competition?”

Before Caleb could speak up, Lily walked over and touched Maya’s shoulder, “We don’t have to be enemies to play a game together, right? Isn’t that what you're always trying to say?”

Maya looked to the ground, avoiding eye contact, “I-” She looked up, and in the moment their eyes met, Caleb saw a pleading, a quiet cry for help, but as quickly she turned her head to the side and laid her hand on Lily’s. “Right…yeah.”

Seeing that it looked like quiet was about to settle on the group again, Maddy gave a sharp yelp, “Um-!” She raised her hands and then squeezed them tight at her sides, “I made food for after the challenge for everyone, so we should probably go eat it…” She turned to Caleb, “If that’s ok?”

Caleb gave a curt nod and smiled, “Yeah, sounds great. I think I’ve stood on the soapbox long enough. Let’s go and put this all behind us.” Caleb turned to lead the others off the stage but was surprised to find the way blocked.

Standing just behind him was a short faun with platinum hair and dressed in a post office worker’s uniform that did little to contain her prodigious bust as she held out a letter, all while avoiding eye contact.

Tentatively reaching out a hand with one hand, Caleb pointed at himself, “Is this for me?”

The postworker faun gave an exaggerated sigh and rolled her eyes before proffering the letter closer.

Everyone gathered round as Caleb took the letter, with Noemi being the one to speak up, “Caleb, you aren’t exchanging love letters with fauns now, not when you have me?” The Chilean stuck out her chest, which the faun responded to by bending over and giving an eyeful of cleavage before snapping up and sashaying away.

Caleb opened the letter as Lily and Maddy restrained Noemi. The letter was written in an unfamiliar script, but as he read, he began to realize he was familiar with the speaker.

Caleb,
I will save my usual opening line and will replace it with “I hope you are sitting down.” This is going to start rough. Forgive my harsh tone at the beginning of this. It will get better.
It is not fair to judge you by the standards of my old world, but it is ingrained in me enough to need to say this. If you attempted to shut yourself away there like you did before you were kidnapped by interdimensional smut peddlers, you would have been institutionalized to **** treatment (and your father likely charged with willful **** of an adult family member for enabling you). There was little tolerance for a fighting age man to not be in fighting shape, either physically or mentally. Then again, the **** that drew you into your agoraphobia would have also been handled very differently, so you probably wouldn’t have gotten to that point anyway. No point holding you to standards foreign to you.
Your first fan-mail call came before I was aware of the concept, and it was probably a good thing. If all I saw of you was the first week, this letter would have been addressed to Amy and would be encouraging her to figure out how to take over the harem. You seemed like another weak-willed Master, doomed to corruption like so many others in “dark seasons.” Then, just before Andy’s party, you showed some spine and changed my mind; you have the potential to overcome. The way you handled Mira after Eliza confessed what happened was good. Something kind of similar happened in my season, though with more repugnant motivations than Mira’s misguided desire to give Eliza a kick in the pants. You were more merciful than I. I hope that your mercy pays off. My administration of justice did not.
So, your season is not lollipops and rainbows. It’s not lo-fi island vibes to chill to like Andy’s. It’s not good-natured contract parsing fun like Mark’s. It’s not a cute little bet like Richard’s. It’s not even the weird “being kidnapped by a long lost loved one who wants to set you up with a dozen sexy friends” like Laura’s. You are in the shit, like I was.
I will admit that even our circumstances are different. While I would classify both Lucy and my first host as “incompetent evil,” Lucy’s fatal flaw (his simmering rage) is harder to exploit (and more dangerous to attempt to exploit) than the hag’s slothful hubris. I had more power to change circumstances than you do at the moment. I took every possible scrap of power I could and my opportunities to take advantage were much more numerous than yours.
But, you have advantages I didn’t. For one, people seem to want to root for you. This is at least the second letter being sent to you outside of fan-mail time, which is two more letters than me and mine got during our fan mail-times (seriously, we only ever got thank you replies from Andy’s crew, which was very appreciated, Andy). You know you aren’t alone in this. If nothing else, me and mine have been practicing navigating the non-Euclidean nightmare that is the Backstage. We’ve caused some mischief before and we can do it again. You also have a lot more information than I had. That Amy is a smart cookie. I’m sure that, with enough analysis, you could out rules lawyer a demon.
You can find your happiness despite your fiendish foe. You just have to act. No more cowering.
Presents. I got you some. It’s the standard “first time reaching out to a season I was aware of during mine” package: something cute, something embarrassing, and something personal. The cute thing is a two-tailed fox plushy. It has a Calm Emotions enchantment on it. Give it a squeeze and it’ll suppress strong emotions. Take the edge off. There were multiple times something like this would have been helpful for yours so far. Might even help with the agoraphobia when you can’t use the umbrella for some reason. Make sure it gets to who needs it. Eliminations are horrible, even when they are earned. Do your best to keep them all safe. I am not under the delusion that a Master can make a perfect run unless the Host warps the game to ensure it happens; so, when you fail at the impossible task, don’t beat yourself up too badly.
There is a story behind the embarrassing thing. So, one of mine is an actual dragon that I gave a transformation that gives her a more human default form. If you need a picture of her, imagine the worst aspects of Stella combined with the worst aspects of Noemi. She tried to buy my affection with a bunch of giant anime statues of my favorite contestants from other seasons. You won’t have to worry about getting a letter from her; I do a much better job screening mail before it goes out than my season’s staff. I feel gross keeping them; I also feel gross destroying them. I mean, some of the people depicted were at the party. And, now that I’m out, I checked and the Hotel merch stores have insane return policies. I decided to pass them along to the Master/Mistress when I have the chance. So, one mint-in-box ahegao statue of Maya; if you thought that I would pick Amy, at the time I considered her the Mistress of the harem, not a contestant. Still like Maya a bunch; treat the girl right (treat all of them right). Do with the statue as you will.
For the personal touch, two things. One, I enchanted a book to be able to play my season. Not sure how much help watching me and mine suffer will be, but maybe it’ll inspire you. Or at least remind you that you are not alone in “dark season” land. Most of the truly dark ones don’t allow fan-mail, so you aren’t likely to hear from the other dark seasons’ Masters. For a more material bit of assistance, I wasn’t exactly sure how to approach it, given the whole “Host in training” secret leaking out. I settled on the priciest thing I have ever sent: a Scroll of Foresight. It’s a one-time cast of a ninth level spell of the same name. For 8 hours after casting (touch the target [it can be yourself] and break the seal), the target gets little premonitions about things that will happen around him/her with sufficient time to respond. It can be a little tricky to navigate, but it was very helpful during my final endgame challenge. Making this is normally over a year’s worth of work for an incredibly skilled wizard. Don’t waste it on something frivolous.
Finally, I will tell you that usually you get at most one shot to perform a coup on the show. Most of the time, it fails. Ask Nick on the group chat about trying to steal the Host’s cane if you need an example. Sometimes, they do work. I succeeded in mine, in a circuitous way. Michael Clark (the monster) pulled his off masterfully; honestly, his method might work for you, if you can hunt down a copy of the Casino season to see it. If you try, be sure to get Reyna, too. Believe it or not, I believe she is the more dangerous of the two fiends that plague you.
One of my wives is a real stickler for protocol, so forgive the formal closing. Feel free to use my more informal name if you choose to write back. You and yours are welcome to visit anytime, either as a break from the show (if you can get Lucy’s permission) or after. Just try to keep your pet imp on a leash.
Regards,
Tyalangan, 48th Queen of the Copse-wood Throne
Ruler of Nimlith Grove
Masters Support Group – Member Emeritus

As he finished reading, Caleb saw there was a stapled note attached.

Fox Plushy- Confiscated
Ahegao Statue- Confiscated
Season Book- Delivered to Master’s Suite
Scroll of Foresight- Confiscated

Caleb frowned, so Lucian had taken away anything that might actually be of use and a porn statue of Maya. While Caleb was not eager to get the statue back, he wondered on what grounds there might be to keep it away alongside the more useful confiscated items.

Over his shoulder, Eliza raised an eyebrow, “What an eccentric letter.”

Caleb gave a wry grin, “I met her at that party I went to this week. Yeah, a bit of an odd duck, but ultimately kind. They were trying to help.”

Mira frowned, “They were trying to help you organize a coup.”

Caleb nodded, “That too.”

“Is there any merit in that idea, do you think? To get us out of here sooner?” Lily asked.

Amy frowned, “If there was, it wouldn’t be while that woman is here. Lucian is bad enough without a Devil in the wings.”

Pocketing the letter, Caleb stood up straight, “Something to consider for later, as for right now. I've been running for almost two and a half hours and am starving. Maddy?”

Maddy ran ahead, “It’s just in the dining hall, everyone!”

Everyone began to make their way behind the chef, Amy pausing to tap Caleb’s shoulder, “Not a bad speech.” Before moving ahead.