To knock or not to knock

It wasn't long before I stood outside Yura's door. Unable to bring myself to knock. After everything I'd put her through, it felt hollow. Selfish. I couldn't bring my knuckles to rasp against the wood and instead found myself stepping back. Rather than knocking, violating her privacy again, I decided to leave a note. Cowardly, I know, but it was all I could think of to do. After buying a parchment off of a woman I sat within view of Yura's house. My eyes found themselves glancing up more than a few times as I tried to find the right words. Thankfully Eros’ gift came in handy once more as I wrote in the increasingly familiar language.

“Yura

I can't begin to make amends for what you've been **** to face. First with the difficulties I myself bring then with the incessant drama of the Commander and his goons. I can't start to understand how you feel, or how I can ever make it right. So, I won't try. Not without your input.

I'm writing this unsure of what to do. I've been thrown into something and I can't figure a way out of it. But I know I won't drag you in any further. I don't know what to expect next. What dangers I'll face or who. All I know is that you've been incredible. Caring, forgiving, generous beyond a doubt. You gave me a chance to believe in something. You gave me kindness where all I'd gotten so far was begrudging acknowledgement. You and yours gave me hope.

Thank you, Yura. For everything. Thank you for giving me hope. I won't drag this on any further, but know that I am truly sorry. I inadvertently caused you harm and I can never apologize enough to make it right. I only hope you find the love and peace you truly deserve. Thank you, Yura.”

With my note complete I tucked it away near the base of her door. The bracelet and a large crystal I'd stowed wrapped in the letter itself. I tucked it into a spot that would quickly catch her eye before opening the door while also being hard to see on a pass by. Hoping it wouldn't be stolen. With this, I left once more. This time leaving the house alone without my shadow stalking its door or windows. I didn't even know if Yura was inside or at the tavern. Not mine to know.

Though I never got to speak with her, I had made my decision. For the trauma she was **** to endure because of me. For the **** I'd seen inflicted on innocent people. For the attempt on my own body that they deemed necessary simply for touching a beautiful woman. Whatever Tront had in mind, I was in.

The rest of my day was thankfully significantly less active. Less eventful. I found my way back to my small little alcove in the bridge. Private and away from the wind once more. I found myself fiddling with my broken sword again. Twirling it in my hand and flipping it around. Though its balance was shot, it still felt decent in the hand. About the length of a dagger, but wider, it still held right and true. Not to mention that it had saved my life while working with my magic. It gave me a second and third chance. After a long while of laying against the dirt and stone, I couldn't bring myself to discard it. Even with my new sword coming. Besides, never hurts to have two daggers, right?

As night came I found myself bracing against the chill. Once more wishing I'd been at the tavern. Drinking, eating, seeing Yura and listening to people laughing. I'd only had a few hours total, yet it felt as close to home as anything had so far. Slept eventually took me, but it came restless and didn't last through the night. Rather it came in uncomfortable spurts where my back hurt worse and worse each time. Finally somewhere in the early morning I'd given up on sleeping entirely. My back ached, my head throbbed, and I had the feeling of being watched since around midnight. I just blamed the local rats eyeing a potential meal if I slept too hard.

Forcing myself out of my hole I beat the dust and dirt off. Though not presentable I was at least less of a disaster. Grunting and groaning I twisted and bent until my back crackled and popped. The tension slowly released and gave me a chance to breathe. The discomfort melted away as I walked. My bag slung over my shoulder and my hand on my sword. The dark village had a different feeling to most the time. Nm BMW well lit homes. Not that they didn't interest me, or that I wanted to be a creep. Simply that it felt wrong. It wasn't mine. Not my light, not my warmth. I was hungry, but even looking at other people eating felt wrong. As men left their homes to find their way to their jobs, as mothers cared for their children and women found their own ways out of domestication.

Then there was me. Wandering around like a lost puppy with his stomach growling and the grim realization I didn't know anywhere I could eat.The tavern had become off limits, Yura had become off limits, and I doubted I could just beg for a loaf of bread and not get either mocked or outright beaten. Next option was to leave and hunt. With my magic I'd probably have some luck if I could get close to a deer or something. Only concern was getting back in. I'd seen the looks the proper guards had given me when I first arrived, now with the Commander having it out for me at the lord's wishes… I'd be lucky to just make it to the gate. Last option, go annoy the adventurers guild for any random scrap they had got.

I arrived back at the adventurers guild with two requests in mind. Even if they cost me a handsome sum. First, a meal. I'd gone a day without food and while not starving, I was still hungry. Second, a bath. Though I doubted they had them, I would like to be clean when I'd meet Cecilia properly. Considering the first time we'd met I was bloody, dirty, and had literally just woken up under a tree, the least I can do is be clean for her.

The door opened with generous push and I was immediately met with an unfamiliar face. The sun hadn't quite reached the square yet and inside stood another woman. Her name tag said Jennara. While Brie was a shorter woman this Jennara was a tall woman with a thin face. She held a sort of model like beauty though her customer service could have used some coffee. The night obviously having worn her down. Especially if it was as empty as it was at my arrival. Despite this, she offered a smile and as much energy as she could muster. “Good evening, sir. How may I help you?”

“Good evening and good morning. I waa hoping to ask about some of the potential services that the guild offers? Namely a bath and meal? Maybe some rest?” Jennara's demeanor held as she flipped through a large book laying on the counter. A ledger with dozens of names and notes. I didn't get a chance to actually read any of it before she spoke and closed it.

“We do have a bath and bed open, though they're far from a proper room you'd receive at the tavern. If you'd like I'd be happy to give you a referral to the local inn.”

“No, no… that's alright. I'll be honest, I'm hungry and tired. Right now I'm not particularly picky. Whatever you've got will be more than enough.” Seemingly accepting my response she flipped through the ledger once more. Obviously not expecting me to actually accept the guild's services over a proper inn. She requested proof of my privilege. Though I was a bit confused at first she had wanted to see my rank and proof I was part of the guild. Privilege simply being my rank in the guild. Silver earned me a free bed and bath, but not food. Iron earned a bed, copper nothing. Apparently with each rank your privileges grew as well. Honored by the separate guild halls.

Only a few minutes later she led me through the hall and sitting area to a long room with a dozen beds. A bunkhouse. In that moment I understood why she hadn't expected me to accept it. Still, it wasn't dirt and came with a blanket to yank over my head. Next came the bath. Far from the comfortable basin that the tavern offered, this was simply a pot of soon to be boiled water and a rag. For all of their wealth, the guild offered little in way of comfort.

Seeing my expression Jennara sighed and opened the cabinet next to the door. Inside were several bottles of soap smelling of mint. “We rarely receive guests from outside the village, and even then they often take refuge at the inn. Throw in little income, and this is all we can offer.”

“It's alright. I wasn't expecting the royal treatment, guess I'm just spoiled. I've got it from here, thank you. Ummm… I doubt I'll be awake for much longer. If it's alright I'm going to go lay down after a bath and I'll worry about eating later.” She nodded her head politely and left me to my devices. Starting the fire beneath the pot I sat back and undressed. I let it bring the water to a simmer before bothering to put it out. I didn't need a skin peeling temp. Yet it was enough to clean me. Scrubbing away the last few days since my last bath.

I thought back to the time I'd spent with Yura. Thinking about how she had sort of latched to me, and I to her. Though we didn't spark, it just felt right. She carried a type of kindness that felt rare. Throw in her determination to help some torn up human and it felt almost like a con. I thought back to the last time we'd seen each other. After such a great fuck ruined by the commander and his dick weeds. How Yura had begged me to cum inside her. Claim her. It felt incredible in the moment. Yet… thinking back it was better that I hadn't done so. We barely knew each other and she was so willing to give herself to me. Either desperation or simply connection.

If I survived through all of this… I was going to find out which.