To Have and to Hold

"... in sorrow and in joy, so long as I shall live."

I wiped a tear from my eye as I attempted to compose myself. Gary's vows were beautiful and amazing, just like him. I could only hope mine would live up to the standard he had just set. I finished sniffling, cleared my throat, and shook off the nerves. I had this. Nothing could go wrong.

"Gary, my beloved. When we first met..."

Well, almost nothing. Maybe just one thing.

"...I thought... erm, I was..."

One big thing. That I could see right in front of me.

"I... I... alright, mister, hold it right there!"

A small wave of gasps went through the crowd as I pointed in Gary's direction. Gary's eyes widened.

"Not you, dear. You!"

I reached forward a bit to make it clearer who I was pointing toward, though really it was obvious. There was only one standout in Gary's line of groomsmen, and I certainly wasn't pointing at any of the men in tailored suits. No, I was pointing at the man standing right behind Gary in his birthday suit. Well, that's not quite accurate. He was wearing dress shoes, dress socks, and sock garters, which I appreciated, and he also wore a black tie which fell charmingly onto his bare chest. Other than that every part of his body was completely exposed, including the reason for my outburst.

"I see that, John. You have an erection!"

A smattering of titters and giggles emanated from the crowd consisting of my family, his family, and all of me and Gary's friends, as they turned their attention to John and confirmed what I had said. His penis hung down between his legs like a large cucumber ready to be picked from the vine. It was not the hardest I had ever seen it (even just that day) but between the gently throbbing vein running down the side of it and the bulbous, fully swollen head, it was obvious that he was much closer to fully erect than fully flaccid. He looked down at his penis as if noticing it for the first time, then turned toward me and raised his hands to shrug.

"Don't play stupid with me, mister! I know just what you're about to say: I can't help it Mary, you know what happens when I haven't emptied my balls in a while," I said, doing a little impression of John. As I did my best imitation of his voice I placed one hand in the air, imitating his shrug, and another down between my legs, indicating his penis. It was not a perfect impression as I would have needed both hands to shrug properly, and I also would have needed both hands to properly indicate the dimensions of his sizable erection, but the crowd seemed to get what I was going for as another wave of light laughter came across the audience. "Well, I'm not buying it. You 'emptied' those ridiculously overproductive plums of yours less than an hour ago. Into my mouth. If you're already aroused again, it must be because you're thinking of something arousing, and I know exactly what it is." I paused for dramatic effect. "Well, almost exactly. I know you're planning to reach across Gary and yank my dress down, exposing my breasts to everyone I know during my wedding ceremony. I'm certain of it. I just don't know whether you're going to do it during my vows or the kiss."

John did his best to look affronted, but soon broke into a fit of laughter. His penis shrank a bit as it bounced up and down beneath his belly. Gary glanced back at him before turning to me and rolling his eyes with a smirk. Those in the crowd who knew John well threw out a few playful heckles and jeers for him. "Haw haw haw... alright, guilty as charged. I figured I'd spice up the ceremony a little bit. Dang, Mary, you sure can read me like a book nowadays." I preened in smug satisfaction. I had suspected he was planning such a stunt for some time. He had given no hints, but I knew him well enough. "Honestly though, it's not like you're gonna stop me from pulling those gazongas out."

My grin turned even more smug, and even more satisfied. "Sure I am." Without breaking eye contact with John I reached up, grabbed the neckline of my dress firmly, and pulled it in two different directions. The entire church went silent except for the sound of tearing fabric as I ripped apart the top of my dress, allowing its contents to spill out in front of everyone. I turned to face the crowd. For a moment, everyone simply stared silently at my bumpy brown nipples. Then the room exploded into raucous laughter and applause. I felt Carol clap her hand on my shoulder as she shouted "Damn girl, you got him!" I looked at the groom's side and saw John staring at me in utter disbelief as Gary punched him on the shoulder and wheezed with laughter. Eventually, John's slackjawed expression morphed into something between amusement and pride as he began to slowly clap along with the rest of the room.

After the applause had mostly died off, Gary motioned for the crowd to quiet down. I smoothed out the intact lower portion of my dress and quickly readjusted my breasts to be unobscured by stray scraps of ripped fabric and nicely centered on my chest. I may have been topless, but I still wanted to be as nicely put together as possible. After all, I supposed, I did want to wear something that would flatter my figure and not hide my bust. It doesn't get more unhidden than having your naked chest completely on display in front of everyone you know. Once I was finished adjusting myself, I turned back to Gary and resumed my vows.

"Do you, Mary Grossten Klopfer, take this man, Gary Acus Doe, to be your lawfully wedded husband?

"I do."

Do you, Gary Acus Doe, take this woman, Mary Grossten Klopfer, to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do."

"Then by the power invested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride"

We closed our eyes and leaned in toward each other, locking our lips together in a passionate kiss. A deep well of joy opened in my heart. I heard the crowd in attendance cheering, but only distantly. In that moment, it was only me and Gary. It was perfect. At least, it was... until I felt a pair of familiar hands latch firmly onto my breasts.

I froze as the joy in my heart turned to dread. It couldn't have been... surely not. Not Gary. Not my love Gary. Not Gary, the most respectful man I had ever met. Not Gary, the man who would never dream of degrading me in some moment of wild lust over my breasts. Yet, that touch was so familiar. I had felt those hands on my breasts before. It was identical to the feeling of Gary's loving hands gently rubbing them while we made love. Except, we weren't making love. We were sealing our bond of matrimony in front of all of our friends and family.

I pulled back and opened my eyes, a look of horror crossing my face. A whirlwind of emotions ran through my mind. Confusion, rage, despair, anger. Who did he think he was? How could he possibly think it was appropriate to... to feel me up on the altar? In front of everyone? As I pulled back and opened my eyes, he did the same, and his joyful face turned to concern. He looked down at my chest, then looked back to my face, and smiled.

A smile? How dare he. Did he think it was okay? Did he think it was funny? Apparently he didn't think much of it, as rather than having the decency to look regretful or embarrassed, he simply kept smiling and cupped my face gently in his hands. I grabbed his wrists and pulled them away. If he thought he was about to have a tender moment with me while actively fondling me in front of my family, he had another thing coming. Just as I was about to decide between pushing him over or running away from him, though, I realized that I could still feel the fondling even as I held his wrists in my hands. I looked down at his arms... and saw two identical arms, save for the lack of sleeves, reaching past him on either side to wrap around my breasts.

Oh... oh! Of course! Instantly, all the terror and confusion melted away. What was I thinking? Gary would never do this. John, on the other hand, expresses his fondness and affection toward me in this manner all the time. I've felt John's hands on my breasts enough to tell his method apart from Gary's. In fact, I'm not sure which one of them has spent more time with his hands on my breasts. When Gary touches them, it's always gentle and brief, a short moment in an ongoing sequence of tender rubs and caresses as his hands roam across my body. John on the other hand always lingers on them and, well, plays with them for lack of a better term. I should have picked out the difference immediately, but I suppose everything other than Gary simply melted away in my mind once I kissed him.

Speaking of which, once I was satisfied that nothing untoward had occurred, I reached forward to gently hold Gary's face as he had held mine and pull him into another deep kiss. The crowd's cheers were reinvigorated as once again an otherworldly peace overtook me. There was nothing but the taste of Gary's lips on mine, the feeling of brief but intense stinging pain as John's hands shifted to give each of my nipples a quick pinch and twist before returning to his previous groping, and the sound of our now-combined families' love reverberating through the air.

It was perfect.