Tiny

Tiny cock. Such a tiny flaccid cock. Two inches, MAYBE three. That was the only and best way to describe it.

Not what the ladies like and not what a harem protagonist should have.

Shirou Emiya stood in the middle of the field, in front of the entire school, with his… let’s say, *humble sword* unsheathed for all to witness.

He scrambled for cover, hands flying downward, but it was too late. People had *seen*. And worse—people were *commenting.*

“Oh no…”

“Dude, is that it?”

“I thought the Hero of Justice packed more heat!”

“Even my little brother—!”

“Wow, I feel so *safe* right now.”

He fled. Dignity gone. Shorts shredded. The sounds of laughter echoing behind him like a villain’s evil laugh in slow motion.

***

Later, after replacing his pride with a towel and a loaner gym shirt, Shirou sat alone on a back staircase behind the gym, hugging his knees like a tragic anime protagonist.

'Maybe I should move to the mountains,' he thought. 'Live in a cave. Eat moss. Never show my face again.'

Footsteps approached.

He looked up.

Rin and Sakura stood there.

Rin had her arms crossed, that classic half-annoyed, half-entertained expression on her face. Sakura just looked worried.

“Shirou,” Sakura said gently, kneeling beside him. “Are you okay?”

“No,” he said flatly. “I got pantsed by *physics.*”

Rin smirked. “You got *exposed* by fate.”

Shirou sighed. “Please don’t make puns right now.”

Sakura sat beside him. “It’s all right, Senpai. Accidents happen.”

“Not to normal people,” he muttered. “Just to me.”

There was a beat of silence. And then Rin said, with a little too much mischief in her tone:

“Well… at that size, of course it would be *hard to see.*”

Shirou nearly choked on air. “Rin!”

“What? You walked *right* into that one.” She grinned unapologetically.

Sakura, bless her heart, turned crimson. “I-It’s okay, Senpai. Truly. I… I didn’t see anything.”

Shirou stared.

Rin stared.

Even Sakura paused, realizing too late how *damning* that sounded.

“I mean—not like that!” she added quickly. “I mean—I didn’t *look*!”

Yeah fucking right.