Tim Plays God

The church was in chaos. To some Renee’s sudden stripping was a miracle. But to many it was a terrible omen. A sign of sin infiltrating their sacred church. Many began to express this as the **** Redhead struggled against her bonds.

“Further proof that she’s a sinful woman! She even has the Devil’s hair!”

“I bet she was the Shop ‘n’ Save streaker from back in August.”

“I watched foota- I mean, I saw her streak through the museum awhile back.”

The elderly Ms. Cribble stepped up to defend the bound girl. “Now I’ve known Renee for years. She’s one of the sweetest girls I’ve had the pleasure of knowing. I refuse to believe she’s some filthy sinner.”

Renee’s mother Selena was charmed by her kind words about her daughter. “Thank you, Ms. Cribble.”

“Obviously she’s being punished for her mother’s debauchery back in her teens.”

“D-debauchery is a bit much.” The startled Selena stuttered.

“All those times you streaked the town as the Rambunctious Redhead surely qualifies. You even got George involved and-”

“Oh for Heaven’s sake. PLEASE STOP TALKING!” Marcus shouted as he and Zeke got Renee down from the cross. Not wanting to hear anymore about his parents lewd past.

“Now the Lord works in mysterious ways,” Father Max reasoned. “It may take some time to truly understand His messages.”

It was then Tim got a diabolical, downright blasphemous idea. He punched in some commands into the watch. Suddenly a golden envelope appeared in Father Max’s hand. Shocking the preacher, who believed it was divine intervention.

“The Lord has given us a message!” The duped priest shouted. Silencing the crowd.

Meanwhile Renee struggled to wrap Zeke’s jacket around her curvaceous body while he helped remove the boxers from her mouth. Too embarrassed by everything else to register that he had his crush’s underwear in his hands. Renee turned to see Father Max envelope with Tim’s embarrassing instructions inside. Also believing it was the Lord’s message.

“What does it say?”