Tim Drake

It was a lazy Saturday afternoon in Gotham City, and the three most wanted women in the state were day-drinking and talking about cute boys. Selina had dropped by the greenhouse where Harley and Ivy were putting the "lay" in "laying low", and discovered that Ivy had somehow convinced an agave cactus to slowly drip pre-distilled tequila into a beaker. From there the concept of "bottomless margaritas" had just naturally suggested itself.

"I mean, I've been in this business longer than either of you," Selina Kyle was opining over her third margarita. "I have seen Robins come and go, y'know? And they're all cute, don't get me wrong. Mr. Big Tough Darknight Detective has suspiciously excellent taste in teenage boys."

Harley giggled, and Ivy gave her a little swat on her spandex-clad rump. "Pervert."

"Ivy, sweetie, I don't think the woman who kidnapped me with that tentacle plant gets to call anyone a pervert, much less the poor innocent girl she kidnapped."

"I didn't kidnap an innocent girl," Ivy smiled, sliding her hand up Harley's thigh as she lay on the sofa, "I kidnapped a depraved, criminally insane, highly dangerous... pervert."

"Oh come on," Selina said with a roll of her eyes, "let's just admit we're all perverts here. Nobody gets into these costumes and does this stuff because they're just too normal sexually, okay? Least of all Batman and his Barely-legal Beefcake Boy Buffet."

"If that were a band I would follow them on tour," Harley declared.

Ivy refilled her glass. "I always kind of liked that first one, remember him? Someone told me he's Nightwing now. You know, with the..." she gestured as though grabbing something round at waist height.

"Oh my GOD, the one with the ASS, yes." Selina nodded enthusiastically.

"Oh yeah! I remember that ass!" Harley raised her glass. "To that one Robin's ass!"

"TO THE ASS!" they all giggled, and drained their glasses.

"He wasn't my favorite, though," Selina said as they refilled them again. "If we were going just on buns, he would be, sure, but overall, my favorite's the third one. You know, the first one to actually have pants?"

"Ooh, I could see that," Ivy snickered. "What makes him your favorite?"

"It's hard to say exactly... just something about the way he's smarter and quieter than the previous ones. The first two were always yelling puns at me when we fought, but the third one... he seems kinda serious in this dorky way that's really cute."

"Serious in a dorky way!" Harley squealed with glee. "That's it exactly! He's like..." she hopped to her feet and assumed a boxing stance, squinching her face up in mock-concentration "Ooooh, I've gotta do this right, gotta be the best crimefighter, do all my homework early, and brush my teeth after every meal!"

Ivy nearly snorted margarita through her nose laughing. "Oh god, that's perfect. You just know that in regular life he's like this weird nerd who takes all the AP classes and is scared of girls."

"Ugh, is there anything hotter than a cute boy who's scared of you?" Selina moaned, squeezing her thighs together. "Just that nervous blush they get, you just want to grab him and pull him over your lap and spank him."

"Tell him he's been a bad boy and spank him 'til he cries," Harley elaborated, unconsciously straddling the arm of the sofa and grinding herself against it.

"Crying boys are the fucking sexiest," Ivy said, squirming with desire.

An embarrassed pause followed. "So, uh, I guess we're all into... uh... spanking, huh?" Selina finally said.

"Well, in the specific case of spanking the third Robin, yes," Ivy clarified, "but in general, also yes."

"I used to draw pictures of spankings when I was a little girl," Harley blushed. "And I was so afraid someone would find them but I couldn't stop. Not just me, huh?"

"Hell, I was raised Catholic," Selina shrugged. "The spanking fetish comes with the communion wafers."

"Okay, so we are now officially the best-ever supervillain team," Harley declared. "And we're not going to screw around stealing rare art or jewelry or bearer bonds or any of that dumb stuff. We're going after what's really valuable in life: cute boys and their naughty bare bottoms! And men shall know us as... uh... the Mighty Mistresses!"

"The All-Star Spanking Squad!" suggested Selina.

"Three Laps Of Doom!" Ivy offered.

"The Gotham Governesses!"

"Paddlesquad!"

"The Hairbrush Hellions!"

"The Crimson Cougars!"

"Discipline ****!"

"The Spanketeers!"

"We'll come up with a name later!" Selina finally managed through the giggles. "Right now, I think we can all agree that the most important thing in the world is to get our hands on that cute third Robin, and spank his tight little bottom until it's as red as his chest. Are we agreed?"

"God, yes."

"Hell, yes!"

"Okay, then. Here's the plan..."