This chapter is brought to you by Gran & Saccha’s Kitchen - ‘putting the sugar in your sweets’.

When John stepped out of the study, he found not Red but Saccharine waiting for him. She sat idly on a porcelain vase, examining her tiny fingernails.

“Huh, you’re alive, whaddaya know,” she said by way of greeting.

“I guess so,” John agreed, pinching himself just to be sure.

“So… now you know their dark secret, what’re you gonna do?” Saccharine asked, looking at him curiously with her large, rose-coloured eyes.

“I don’t know,” John admitted.

“Well, Vulpis’ll cut off your pecker if you keep hanging out with Red,” the fairy said sunnily. “He’s a lot fucking stronger than you are, you know?”

“I do,” John answered sourly. “But I’m not gonna sit by and do nothing.”

Saccharine snorted as she held back laughter. “Careful, you’re beginning to sound like some cunt in shining armour.”

‘There is nothing sweet about this fairy,’ John thought with great irritation.

“Anyway, I was told to tell you: the pies are ready,” the fairy said, kicking off the vase and beating her insect-like wings. “And it’s probably best if you get out of the manor snap fucking quick.”

John did not disagree with that statement. He followed the fairy down the stairs, but before they entered the kitchen, Saccharine stopped him. “Listen, don’t tell Gran about this, okay? The last thing she needs in her old age is to have something like that hung over her; I don’t think she’d survive it.”

“Okay,” John agreed with mixed feelings.

“Good,” was all Saccharine said before entering the kitchen.

John followed, and his eyes fell on two wonderfully baked pies which sat on the table, radiating a golden light in the evening sun. The aroma of baked apple filled John’s nose, and he sucked in as much as he could for fear of losing the godly smell. Nothing could be more perfect. More incandescent. More transcendental. John caught himself drooling at the sight of the pies.

“Oh, John, your pies are ready,” Granny Smith told him quite unnecessarily.

“They look… delicious,” John said, annoyed that English could provide him with no words to adequately describe the glory before him.

Granny Smith chuckled at the compliment before hobbling over towards the kitchen fridge. “Now, you also needed some berries and ice cream, didn’t you?” she said as she scanned the shelves for the items in question. “Oh, and Saccharine, dear, would you mind fetching a thermal bag?”

“Oh, don’t worry about that,” John said quickly. “I have a way to store food at the same temperature over long periods of time,” he explained as he put the Black Knight’s pie into his inventory.

“Well, that’s quite the trick,” Granny Smith applauded as she handed a tub of ice cream and a basket of berries to him. “Now, would you like a slice of pie?” the old wolf asked but had already begun slicing up the second pie into eighths.

“Thank you for the offer, but I should probably get going…”

“Oh tosh,” Granny Smith waved her clawed hand dismissively. “I won’t have you leaving on an empty stomach,” she said, leaving no room for argument as she served him up a plate of golden joy.

“Won’t it be too hot?” John asked, looking at the molten contents oozing from the crust.

“Not at all, dear,” Granny Smith smiled. “Saccharine has kindly charmed the pies so that they’re perfectly edible.

“Mhm, I’m a peach, aren’t I?” Saccharine agreed with a small snigger, before tucking into her own slice.

John looked between the fairy and the slice of pie. It was much smaller than John’s but still about as big as she was, leaving John to wonder how she could maintain her thin figure if she ate portions that size on a regular basis.

“Y’know, it’s fucking rude to stare at a lady eating!” she pouted when she noticed him watching. “So quit ogling and eat your goddamn slice of fucking pie!”

John couldn’t help but smile wryly at the suggestion that this potty-mouthed fairy was a ‘lady’ of any sort. Regardless, he followed her order and turned his attention to the pie before him. There was an audible crack as John split the brittle crust of the pie against his fork, sending grains of cinnamon sugar leaping across the surface. John collected as much pie as he could on the fork and quickly brought it to his mouth so as to not lose a single drop of golden ooze. A jolt ran through John’s body as his lips closed around the fork and the apple sauce seeped onto his tongue. If the apple he’d tasted earlier that day was fantastic, then the apple pie was without a shadow of doubt divine.

“This is… awesome,” John sighed, once again finding English had failed him.

“I’m so glad you like it, dear!” Granny Smith’s face spread into a wolfish grin.

John regarded the hospitable wolf, wondering how such a lovely old lady spawned someone as evil as Vulpis. The ugly sensation of guilt crept back up onto John as his thoughts returned to the women chained in the basement. His stomach turned at the recent memory, and he abruptly found he no longer had the stomach for the pie.

Noticing he wasn’t eating anymore, the fairy flew next to him and punched him in the arm. “Hey, asshole, our cooking not good enough for you or something?” Her punch was like getting poked in the arm and didn’t hurt in the slightest.

“Not at all,” John quickly answered in a hushed voice and hoped Gran wouldn’t be able to hear. “I was just wondering… would you be able to take my share to the basement? There are some people I think need the food more than I do.”

The fairy’s eyes widened in genuine surprise at his request. “Oh, yeah… sure…” The fairy fell silent for a long moment and seemingly decided to abstain from the rest of her portion as well. “Y’know,” she continued. “For some wanker Red plucked off the street to fuck around with, you aren’t so bad.”

John supposed that was the closest he was going to get to a compliment from the dessert fairy. “Thanks, I guess?”

“Don’t think that means we’re friends,” the fairy said hastily, a slight blush to her cheeks.

“Well… I wouldn’t mind if we were?” John replied, thinking the fairy looked adorable flustered.

Her blush deepened to the shade of a cherry, and with a loud harumph, she turned her head away from him, ending their brief conversation. ‘Well, it was nice while it lasted,’ John sighed and stood up. He was beginning to feel like he was overstaying his welcome. The last thing he wanted was Vulpis to find he had not yet left the premises.

“Where’s Red?” John voiced, thinking he’d like to at least say goodbye to the girl before he left.

“Oh, she’ll be down shortly. I’m sure the scent of baked apples has well and truly reached the loft,” Granny Smith winked.

As if on cue, Red came floating into the room carried by her nose. “Smells delicious, Gran!” she sighed. “Oh? Started without me, huh?” she pouted and playfully elbowed John in the ribs before grabbing a slice of pie.

The rate at which she wolfed it down was alarming to say the least. John hoped dearly she wouldn’t **** on a piece of crust, but she seemed practiced in her technique and vacuumed it all up without so much as a cough.

“Anyways, it’s definitely about time I left,” John announced. “It’s getting late, and I’ve got a quest to complete.”

He bid farewell to Granny Smith, who fawned over him a little more before finally relenting and wrapping him in a farewell hug, and to Saccharine, who said it wouldn’t be such a “terrible thing to see his stupid face again” while stubbornly refusing to look him in the eyes. Somewhat befuddled, John made his way out of the kitchen with Red pensively following him.

“I hope Pa didn’t drill into you too much,” she said quietly when they reached the front door.

“Not too much,” John tried his best to make the lie sound casual, but something in his voice must have ticked Red off.

Her face paled, and John saw the moisture begin to build in her eyes. “H-how much do you know?”

“All of it, I think.” John truly hoped that was the case and that it wouldn’t get any worse.

“Oh…” Red gulped and took a step backwards.

Sensing she was about to run away, John quickly grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her into a hug. “Red,” he said softly but firmly, “I will get stronger. I’ll come back, and I’ll fight for you. Just hold out until then, okay? Promise me.”

After a brief moment of hesitation, Red pressed against him, wrapping her arms tightly around his back. She did her best to stifle a sob by burying her head in his shoulder and John tried his best to soothe her, running a hand comfortingly through her golden-blonde hair.

“Promise me,” he repeated gently.