Things will be better, Ivan

Knock! Knock!

“Ivan, could you let me in? It’s me.”

No response, I looked back at Gabi who ushered me to keep going. “Ivan, we’re not fighting anymore and I’m not mad, could you open the door for me?”

“Please?”

Click!

Gabi placed a hand on my back and nodded her head. I took in a deep breathe before stepping through. I wasn’t much good at comforting others or giving advice, in fact I would say I suck at it. But... well there’s a first for everything.

That and Gabi kinda **** me into this or she said she would kick my ass.

Yea that probably influenced me just a little bit.

I pushed the door open and stepped inside before closing it from behind. Sony kinda looked at Gabi with a curious stare. “Is he gunna be alright?” “With him talking to him, he better. Otherwise I don’t know.” Gabi responded with a sigh. “How are you feeling about all this?” Sony asked. “About the whole stalker thing?” “Honestly, it’s a blender of emotions. In a strange way I find myself kinda excited at this, it’s like finally something is happening around here.” Sony nodded in agreement as Gabi continued. “A-And I know I shouldn’t feel that way, I know I should block out that voice in my head and tell it to shut up. Cuz on the other side, I’m scared and worried that someone might get hurt.” Sony shook her head. “Don’t think I’ve ever heard of the stalker attacking people with punches and kicks before.”

Gabi looked back at her. “No, pain doesn’t have to be physical.”

...

I leaned against the door, Ivan was sitting on the toilet looking down. What the hell do I say, how do I start? There’s no manual for this kind of thing, I really didn’t think this through and that was a huge mistake. Cuz now I’m worried I might make things worse, as I tend to like I did with Rosa.

“Hey, are you okay?” I asked, pretty bad start I know. Ivan shook his head, ugh c’mon think Alex think. “I’m sorry about what happened before, between Gabi and I. We were just hella worried and upset, it wasn’t anything personal I promise.” Still no response. I sat down on my knees in front of him, his eyes were closed and his lips were quivering. “Hey, hey come on Ive, don’t do that. Don’t be mad at me please, I don’t want to make another friend angry at me, I don’t wanna lose someone else.”

He looked up, his eyes were a bit red from crying it seems and I leaned in and hugged him as he returned the hug back. “No more crying please, I-I don’t know how to help that. I just don’t want you upset at me, I’m really sorry I won’t do it again I promise.” “It’s not the fighting that made me sad, Alex. It’s everything. Things were finally going right for us, and then this happens? I thought I was done with this before, now it’s happening again.” Again? I rubbed his back softly and shook my head. “Nothing is coming out of this okay, don’t think like that.”

Ivan buried his face on my shoulder for a second, shaking and shivering a bit. I didn’t know what to do but keep holding on to him, hoping it’s what he needed to feel better. I’m sorry I’m not as good at making people feel better as I want to be. It’s usually my sister who does the cheering up for me. Something clicked in my head when he said that, now it’s happening again. I couldn’t dare ask, not right now but I got the feeling this went a little deeper with him, maybe he went through something similar to this before? Who’s to say but him, and right now what was important was comforting him.

He pulled back after a few minutes and our foreheads were pressed against each other. I didn’t realize it myself but I had been crying too at some point, now we both had dried tears on our faces. It looked ridiculous in my opinion. We looked at each other and he smile, letting out a soft snicker. I closed my eyes and giggled as his laughter grew from tiny to soft to big, soon we were both laughing at each other, with each other. I don’t know why we we laughing but that didn’t matter, I was just glad seeing him smile again. It was nice to see him come back, he was cuter that way.

“Thanks for talking to me.” He said after we recovered, I raised my hand up and wiped his tears from his cheeks. “I didn’t do much really, I’m not the best at this.” “Doesn’t matter, your best was all I ask for.” That one made me smile. “Thank you, Ivan. C’mon, Gabs is worried about you. Let’s go.” We got up and I unlocked the door before he grabbed my arm softly. “Is everything going to get better from this, Papi?” That nickname, usually I don’t hear him say that unless we’re in the moment but... I smiled and shook my head yes. “Things will be better, Ivan.”

He squeezed my hand as we stepped out.