There's no light in the tunnel, no irons in the fire, come on up to the house

Nick didn’t know what to say in response to Sylvia. The story she’d told him, it was just…

It was overwhelming!

“That’s… Sylvia…” Nick shook his head in disbelief and looked over at her, his heart aching with pain.

“Hey, don’t give me that look!” Sylvia tried to **** a smile onto her face. “Really… it’s alright, I mean it! I just… I don’t know what I’m supposed to make of what happened, Daddy.”

Nick couldn’t blame her. He didn’t know what to make of that either.

Nick was well aware of how unstable Dakota could be. When pushed to her breaking point, she had a very bad habit of, well, breaking, and doing really bad things as a result of that.

He couldn’t imagine what it was like for Sylvia to go through that. He just couldn’t.

“Sylvia…” All he could do was repeat her name.

Sylvia raised her head and looked into his eyes. Again, Nick could see that there was something there, something he just couldn’t describe. It was as if she was gazing into his heart, in a way.

An uncomfortable feeling stirred in his chest.

“…I tried to convince myself that Dakota didn’t really hate me,” Sylvia said quietly. “That she loved me, in her own way. But… I was just fooling myself. I managed to finally realize… that all this… my whole life… it never really mattered to her.”

She said it with such certainty that her words stung Nick’s ears. He winced.

“…But just when I thought I understood her… now, I just don’t know.” Sylvia shook her head and turned to look at him again. “I’ve been trying to figure it out. She treats me so awfully, she… she tried to erase me, because she thought that I wasn’t even a person. But now… now she’s saying that she doesn’t want me to go back to earth with you all? That… that was never something I even considered… not something I thought about… but now…”

How could she make sense of this situation in a way that her brain could properly process? No matter how she tried, it just seemed impossible! But… it was real. The situation she was presented with. And she couldn’t change that.

“I don’t think there’s a simple answer,” Nick said honestly. “No matter how much I wish there was one… Dakota… she’s… she’s…”

She’s broken. That was what he tried so hard not to say, even though it was the truth. There was something fundamentally broken in Dakota, something Nick wished could be fixed. But the truth was, knowing what he knew about her… knowing how hard she fought every attempt to reach her, how completely unyielding she was…

Was there even a way?

“…She’s complicated,” he finally said, knowing how much of a copout that was. The resigned nod from Sylvia just reinforced that for him. She’d more or less arrived at the same conclusion. “The way you said she broke down… like she didn’t even understand why she said that herself… honestly, it’s possible that she didn’t. With how twisted she’s become, it could be that some part of her deep down inside… actually DOES want you around, Sylvia.”

Nick knew how dangerous it was to say that. He knew he was giving Sylvia hope. And hope could be a dangerous thing.

Sylvia looked at him quietly, which surprised and relieved him. She seemed like she was listening, which was a good sign… right?

“…That isn’t to excuse her actions, to be clear,” Nick clarified, shaking his head. “Whatever else she might feel, it doesn’t change how she’s treated you or what she’s done to you. And honestly…”

This next part hurt him to say.

“…I think you should just forget about her.”

Sylvia’s eyes widened and she looked at him, her mouth falling open. “Wait… wh-what?”

That wasn’t at all what she’d expected him to say. “Daddy?”

Nick hadn’t expected himself to say that, either. He was a forgiving guy at heart. He could put up with a lot. And he knew how much pain Dakota was in. He’d been right there through her painful and lonely childhood, and he couldn’t imagine what it was like to die so young, and then to cling to him as a specter before finally coming here, to this horrible place, and lose what little humanity she had left.

But all the awful things that Dakota endured didn’t excuse her actions. It didn’t make up for the hurt and misery she’d callously spread, without caring about the consequences.

Dakota had done many awful things in her time on the show. To him, to the people he cared about, and to Sylvia, most of all. And he knew that Sylvia even now was trying to find some way to forgive her for them, because no matter what Dakota had done to her, she still loved her, tragically.

Nick knew that, because he still loved Dakota himself.

Sylvia needs to let her go. Whatever feelings she has for Dakota, she has to let them go. She has to. All they’re doing is bringing her pain. That… that pain… that’s something I should endure. Dakota needs me. She doesn’t need Sylvia’s love, just… just mine. So give it up, Sylvia. Please just give it up and stop caring about her. It’s the only way you’ll find peace.

If anyone was responsible for what had happened to Dakota, it was him. If anyone should carry the burden of still loving Dakota after all her crimes, it should be him. Whatever evil, horrible things she did, Nick would still love her. He would still care about her. And in doing so, he hoped that Sylvia could be her own person, then.

“Daddy… do you still love Dakota?” Sylvia asked him.

He didn’t need to answer; the answer was written all over his face. But he had to say it even so. “I do,” he confirmed with a nod. “I do still love her. Even now.”

“I see…” Sylvia nodded slowly, mulling over his words. From the look on her face, Nick wondered what that answer had meant to her. What was she thinking about? Usually the young woman wore her heart on her sleeve, but right now it was like Nick was staring at the Sylvia who had once been, the enigmatic host with the indecipherable smile.

And then her smile turned pure and she looked at him again with those twinkling eyes of hers.

“…I still love her too,” she admitted. “Even with what she’s done. But I’m not a fool. I know that these feelings… they aren’t right. They can’t be. I should just give her up, but… if I do that, then she’ll be all alone… won’t she?”

“That isn’t something you should worry about,” Nick said, shaking his head. “Sylvia, Dakota doesn’t deserve that consideration from you! Just because she’s your mother, what, are you going to stay here now? Be at her side, even when the rest of us are sent back!? Why? Just because Amelia was able to coax that out of her? Don’t do it!”

“So what should I do, then?” Sylvia demanded sharply, looking him in the eyes. “Are you saying I should go back with you, Daddy? I’m free now, after all. I can make my own choices. That’s what I realized last night.”

She placed her hand over her chest. “I never had a Daddy. But when I’m with you, it’s almost like I could. But… it’s not so simple, is it? Even though I call you ‘Daddy’ you’re not. I’m a member of your harem, after all.”

So that’s why she’d seemed different. That’s why she wasn’t flirting with him like she usually did. Nick finally figured it out.

Sylvia had been behaving like she was his actual daughter. That’s what today was about. It wasn’t just Dakota’s breakdown that had her acting weird, that had just been the catalyst. It had got Sylvia thinking about what she actually wanted out of life, and apparently what she wanted was a Daddy.

So… Nick had just gotten rejected? In a roundabout way, you could say that was the case. He wasn’t sure how to feel about that, and he definitely wasn’t sure how he should go about interacting with Sylvia now that he knew what she wanted from him.

Like so many of his relationships, things had just gotten so complicated.

“When you said before that I seemed lighter, like I wasn’t burdened… it felt strange,” Sylvia said, frowning. She touched her breast. “I should have been happy about that. But… it made me question if that was good or not.”

Sylvia looked at Nick again. Her expression was indecipherable for a moment.

Then she burst out laughing.

“It’s weird, right?!” She said through giggles. “Me! Finally happy and without those worries about our relationship, thinking I knew just what I wanted from you, Daddy, only to find out that I was completely off-base! I don’t… I don’t get it at all!”

She held her sides and laughed, shaking her head. “Daddy, Daddy, Daddy… what am I ever going to do with you?”

Nick frowned. Sylvia seemed to have shifted emotions on a dime, and suddenly she was leaning forward, exuding a strange atmosphere around her.

He wasn’t sure he liked the vibes she was giving off.

“Sylvia-”

She placed her finger over her mouth and shook her head. “I love you, Daddy,” she said. “But I don’t know if it’s the right kind of love anymore.”

Nick’s heart skipped a beat.

“Syl-”

“Love is so weird,” she continued, not letting him get a word in. “I love Dakota… even after everything she did to me. Even knowing that she almost certainly doesn’t deserve it… I just can’t help myself. And I can’t say it’s because she made me love her, either, because I know she wouldn’t do that.”

Sylvia shook her head. “My feelings… they’re my own! But I don’t know what to do with them. I want you to be my Daddy… but when you said I looked happier after making that choice, suddenly… suddenly I didn’t know anymore!”

She chewed her lip, and leaned back in her seat with a frustrated expression on her face and a sigh on her lips. Scratching her cheek she raised her head and looked at him again, her eyes flickering with frustration as she tried to unpack the web of unstable emotions whirling through her.

“…What do you want from me, Daddy?” Sylvia asked finally. “If you want me to be your daughter, then that’s what I’ll try to be. If you want me to be your lover, that’s what I’ll try to be! …And to be clear, those ARE the only two options,” she added with a wink, destroying any serious tension that had been building in the air. “Well?”

Nick felt a smile slowly tug at his lips. He looked into Sylvia’s sparkling eyes and saw the depth of her desire in them.

A desire for understanding, for definition, for someone to point her down the right path.

“…I can’t answer that question,” he said finally, even though he knew that she deserved a real answer. Seeing the way her smile dimmed, he pushed through the ache in his chest and asserted himself. “I’m sorry, Sylvia. I just can’t.”

Sylvia’s lip quivered. “B-but… Daddy…”

Nick shook his head. “I think what you’re doing right now is transferring your feelings to me,” he said firmly, taking her hand into his. “What happened last night shook you, and you finally realized that your relationship with Dakota is warped and twisted and about as far from ‘parental’ as you can get. So now you’re feeling lost. And to help stabilize yourself, you decided to take those feelings and transfer them to me, instead. You tried to make me into your ‘Daddy’ to replace the hole in your heart that’s been slowly widening since Dakota erased you from existence and brought you back.”

It was a cold, almost cruel thing to say. But Nick sincerely believed this was the root of Sylvia’s newfound feeling of parental affection towards him.

And judging by the stunned expression on her face, it seemed that she was starting to realize that herself.

“I… wow…” Sylvia stammered, shaking her head slowly. “I didn’t even think about that…”

“We need to come up with a new Pet Name,” Nick insisted. “Something less… well, you know. It’s clouding your perception of our relationship, and I don’t know how things are going to go from here for the two of us, or how we’re going to deal with this, but it has to be something we decide on for ourselves. I don’t want you clinging to something that isn’t real as a result of your crushed expectations for Dakota.”

Again, he knew how harsh he sounded. But he really thought that what he was saying was in Sylvia’s best interest.

There was a massive issue in his line of thinking, though, and they both knew it, without even having to say it.

Whatever name they decided on would have to be approved by Dakota.

And right now, Nick couldn’t think of a worse idea than bringing Sylvia and Dakota together.

So for now… “Daddy” would have to do.

Dakota… I don’t know what’s going on with you right now, Nick thought, biting his lip as he struggled to picture the frightful image of Dakota’s face that Sylvia had described. But… if you’re hurting, I wish I could help. I really do. But right now, Sylvia is hurting too, and that’s your fault. So I’m going to look after her. And after that… I hope that maybe we can fix whatever’s broken inside of you, and you can change for the better, too. I’m not giving up on you, alright? But I’m not going to let you keep hurting people I care about.

Nick wasn’t going to abandon Dakota. But he wasn’t going to meekly submit to her. One way or another he was going to try and help her.

He just had to hope that she didn’t break beyond repair before he could figure out how to do that.

A feeling of discomfort welled up in Mary’s breast.

Words could not describe how horrified she was by the act of blasphemy she was committing right now.

She wasn’t a priest! She had no business sitting here in this confessional booth, taking Dakota’s confession. And the fact that it wasn’t a “real” confession didn’t change the fact that she felt like she was doing something very, very wrong.

It wasn’t her fault! It definitely, absolutely wasn’t her fault! She had to make that very, very clear! The only reason they were even in the confessional booth was because Mary felt it would be the only chance she had of getting Dakota to actually open up to her.

The cold-hearted woman was not the sort to sincerely confess face to face with someone. If shutting Mary away made it easier for her to bare all, then Mary would oblige her.

Please forgive me, Mary silently confessed herself. Please understand, I am only doing this to save her soul! I would never commit such presumptuous, sinful acts otherwise!

God would understand that, right?

“…So what the fuck am I supposed to do?” Dakota snapped, shaking Mary out of her existential crisis.

Mary took a deep breath and exhaled.

Well, you can start by not using such foul language in such a holy place! She wanted to rebuke the other woman, but she held her tongue. Being confrontational would either make Dakota dig in deeper, or make her abandon the whole thing entirely.

Neither of those options worked for Mary, so she cleared her throat and pushed her own personal feelings aside, and tried to handle this as professionally as possible.

“Well, under ordinary circumstances, a confession would start by apologizing-”

“What, the whole ‘Forgive me, father, for I have sinned’ crap?” The venom in Dakota’s voice brought a scowl to Mary’s face. “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me… absolutely fucking not!”

Mary could hear Dakota grinding her teeth through the screen. Or maybe that was her nails digging into the wood.

Either way, not a pleasant sound.

“I’m not using that word,” Dakota hissed at her.

Mary frowned. “What word? Sinned? Dakota, to receive absolution you must not be defensive, you must open your heart fully and-”

“No!” Dakota snapped, slamming her fist down and making the booth shake. “Not… not that stupid word, you fucking idiot…”

Mary’s frowned deepened with confusion. She looked at the inky screen separating herself from the unstable woman, and her brow furrowed.

“I-I don’t understand, then what did you…?”

“…Father.” Dakota’s voice was small and meek, like a child. But just for a moment. Then she regained her usual venom and sharpness, and the grinding returned. “Forget it,” she snapped, and Mary heard a shuffling sound like Dakota was standing up. “This was a mistake, I never should have-”

“We-we can skip that part!” Mary frantically exclaimed. “If-if you don’t want to, then we don’t have to do all that! You can just, um… skip to the next part.”

An eternity passed as Mary’s heart pounded in her chest, and she prayed with all her might that Dakota would sit back down.

And to her overwhelming relief, she did.

“…Fine,” Dakota muttered, and the shuffling sound returned. “I’ll skip it. That work with you?”

Mary was satisfied, at least. Relieved, she wiped the sweat from her brow and turned back to the screen.

“Then after that, um, you would say how long it’s been since you last confessed, but, uh… I think we can skip that part, too…”

Mary was pretty certain that the answer was “Never” with an emphasis on the “Ever”.

“How about we just cut the formalities,” Dakota said snippily. “It’s not like you’re a fucking priest anyway.”

THAT’S WHAT I TRIED TO TELL YOU BEFORE! Mary wanted to scream at her. But she held her tongue. After all, this wasn’t supposed to be an ACTUAL confession to get Dakota closer to God or anything like that.

No… as lovely as that would be, Mary doubted that Dakota truly sought salvation in the Lord’s embrace.

So why was she here? Why had she agreed to this whole thing?

Mary honestly didn’t know. But that didn’t matter. What mattered was that Dakota was willing to open her heart, if Mary was willing to hear it.

So Mary put her personal feelings aside, and let Dakota tell her whatever it was she was going to tell her, confession or not.