The way "Home"

"Oh look, there goes another one."

Dave sighed as Harley, now dressed in her Harlequin motley and make-up with a black and red bowling jacket on instead of the more professional look she had at work, leaned out the window giving the finger to another Harly Quinn while they were stopped at a traffic light. "Fucking homicidal skank! Don't just cover up your abandonment issues by hanging dat ass out for the world to look at instead!"

"Delusional whore!" The **** short-shorts wearing Harley Quinn gave her the finger back. "Let one of the non-codependent personalities dress you from time to time!"

Dave gave Tink a look. "Must you encourage this everytime?"

She happily kicked her feet back and forth. "Yup! It's important to her... so I think I must. Besides it's fucking fun!"

He rolled his eyes and waited for the light to change trying to ignore them. It was partly his fault. He'd looked at another Harley Quinn wearing something outrageous one time, one time!, and she'd never forgotten it!

She'd started with the insults everytime she saw one... but one day she'd had an epiphany and that had changed to this ever since. Trading insults AND unsolicited psychiatric opinions with other Harleys... and quite often the other Harleys felt quite comfortable with returning said insults and advice once they recognized her.

People cheered them both when they weren't covering children's ears. It had made his Harley somewhat famous locally and even done something rare... brought the Harley Quinns together and several even formed a bowling team. The team lasted about 47 minutes before disbanding permanently and a Homer's Bowl-a-rama had been demolished as a result but Harleys eventually agreed that it had "worked".

So naturally they tried softball, soccer, hockey, basketball and several other sports and none ever made it a full game and with similar predictable results everytime... still... it had been something and they had accomplished something together...

... namely a piece of legislature that was eventually passed into law allowing "no more than three Harley Quinns on any team, of any kind, that will play within 500,000 kilometers of a residential, commercial, business, school or agricultural world or other terrestrial body." The "No Harleys" law was infamous and while most found it amusing, all agreed to the necessity and it passed quickly... especially since the Harleys were trying to form a football team at that moment ending that. Harls still had and wore all kinds of jackets, jerseys and other uniforms and loved them.

The light turned green and they started pulling away as Harley shouted waving. "I believe in you, skank! So do your best and try not to suck too many strange dicks on the way to the parking lot! You're better than that, bimbo!"

"Thanks, slag!" The Harley shouted waving. "Shine on you crazy bitch!"

Dave smiled. That was Harleys in a nutshell. Equal parts crazy, obsessive, passionate and free. Some were more villainous and some were more caring but they all had those qualities in common. That's what people loved about them. It was what he loved about his.

He took her hand as they drove off in their van. "I'm proud of you. You know that, right?"

Harley grinned. "Awwww... thanks, Puddin'." She laughed and shrugged. "I used to get so mad at those hussys... but now I realize that's just kinda a waste, ya know? They're just trying to be the me that they know how to be. That could be anyone. I still feel the need to give them shit but now I try to make it supportive shit when I can... some a them skanks need all the support they can get."

Dave nodded. "So ladies what do we want to do about dinner tonight?"

Harley shrugged. "Dunno. Hamburgers or sandwiches," she looks at Tink, "and salad?"

Tink nods and smiles. "It'll be Friday and the weekend soon and we usually order out at least once so let's just keep it simple tonight." She sighed. "We really should get a household specialized character, ya know?"

Dave shrugged. "Maybe but I don't mind too much."

Harley smiles. "I can pitch in with cooking more often, Puddin'! I don't mind!"

Tink silently mouths "No" as he squeezed her hand. "That's alright. I like your cooking for "special" occasions, Harls!"

Harley kissed his cheek and hummed happily. He and Tink sighed happy she bought it. It wasn't that Harley was a bad cook... you just never knew what you were going to get. Sometimes she made a masterpiece... and sometimes it'd blow up in their faces, literally.

"Let's just grab some fast food then to supplement leftovers at home?" He started heading for Shire Burger knowing Tinks preference for fresh ingredients and sweet things including. "I got a hankering and think we'll get some pumpkin muffins and maybe I'll make some for us this weekend!"

"Whatever," she said as her little wings did a happy flutter hearing him specifically mention her favorite food.

They stop and pick up their food before taking the long way home. They did this every couple days stopping to look at various houses they'd already toured. Now that their business was doing well they wanted to upgrade from their modest apartment to someplace to call home... but they hadn't pulled the trigger on any just yet.

"I think this one's... cute?" Tink said looking at the Craftsman. Dave nodded. He liked that it was on a big lot but...

"Small," Harley said. "It's cute but it's small."

Dave shrugged. "There's plenty of space for additions though... but then that space that makes it attractive would start to disappear. "

They nodded and drove away. It would stay on the "maybe" list... for now.

"What about that place by your cousins?" Harley said. "It's close to work and town and an awesome neighborhood! It's a bit of a fixer upper but..."

Dave glanced at her. "You mean the one by James? It is a super great location and the nicest neighborhood... but that house has a reputation. I dont... like it. Plus then we're near family again. We want to be out on our own."

Tink nodded taking a bite out of a berry and swallowing. "Yeah... I like dark stuff but I don't think I want to live in the "Phil" house. People keep moving in and out again. It's... not the right kind of creepy. They need to tear it down and just get rid of it... if we want creepy what about that fixer upper mansion?"

Dave smiled. "I do kind of like that one but it needs work and-"

"Too gothic," Harley sighed. "It's literally the Addams family house only it's in rough shape and it's a ways out of town. If that's what we want then I'm telling you we should buy that old lair! Plenty of space to do whatever... easy access!"

Dave shook his head. "And do what? Actually be my father? Secluded and isolated living a stereotypical villain life? We could have stayed on the ranch for that sort of thing. We wanted our own lives which is why we turned him down!" He slammed the steering wheel.

Tink didn't say anything. She munched on her berry. She'd said her piece about his whinging earlier.

But Harley did. "You need to get over your hang up sometime, you know that? And the sooner the better. News flash. Your folks love you and they did the best they could and they still are and that's never gonna stop. 'Cause they love you. Take it from me. There's nothing wrong with that. There's plenty of fucked up families out there. Yours happens to be a-maze-balls."

Dave sighed and nodded. "I know... and I know it's childish. I need to grow up. I just... I don't care that his shadows so big, I just don't want to constantly live in it. I know that says more about me and my issues but that's me, right? In someways were completely similar and others different. I want to be different! I want my own business, my own home and my own life."

"That's just it," she said as they finally stopped at their apartment building. "You need to just do those things and stop fighting against the other stuff! Because you'll never escape it! Fighting it just makes it's hold on you stronger. Trust me. I'm the expert on obsession! Let it the fuck go and just do your own thing."

She started shouting. "You want to be your own man and have your own business? But some of your best qualities you get from him and you know it! That's why you love your father and you should because that's ok! And the business is yours and you payed back all your loans. You own it! But you're still banking with and using Stark Financial! You recommend 3S several times to clients today even though hearing someone else mentioning it makes you pissy like a moody, thirteen year old! It is time to start getting over your issues and moving on with your life and you start that by just fucking living it!"

"Everything alright, dearies?"

They all smiled and waved at Mrs Bierhals who owned the building and several establishments in town collecting her mail with her Alfred. "Yes ma'am! Just having a family discussion!"

She smiled and waved while Alfred gave them all a look that seemed to say 'do keep it down'. No one messes with Alfred Pennyworth. They nodded. They liked Mrs Bierhals. They even like Alfred. Dave liked helping him out with shoveling the snow and raking the leaves.

Dave, still smiling and waving, said, "I get it. I somehow pissed you both off today and you were both right to tell me off. I know it's frustrating that we still haven't moved out of here despite the fact we've got tons of money now. Tailored Character customizations has been quite lucrative and we're essentially still living in the basement of a boarding house. Still driving around in this old van... it's past time to make a change. We're buying a house. Seriously this time... and we'll get a maid or something for our first character! Effective immediately we're redoubling our efforts to make a change! Let's finalize a decision this weekend if not sooner!"

Tink grinned and pumped a tiny fist! "Oh, hell yeah!" She fluttered up to kiss his cheek and then sat on his shoulder. "Now you're talking sense!"

Harley grinned and nodded. "Crazy sense! I like it!" She kissed his other cheek. "Let's do this!"

[ David Stark Pepper Tinkerbell and Harley Quinn

Will Return In

TBD

Coming Soon]