The sower

‘She is considering it’ this realization hit me like a freight train. I was shocked, afraid, triumphant and excited, everything at all and at the same time. To my … relief? … Sylvie did not recognized my moment of epiphany, while she still lay there with closed eyes, savoring the afterglow of her ecstasy. She might not be even sure about that and would definitely deny it, if I would confront her about this world-shattering fact right now. But I knew. I saw it in her face. These lovely features that I even know better then mine. This tiny crease between her brows, the crinkle of her cute snub nose and how she absentmindedly chews on her bottom lip. This might for everyone else, herself included, just be one of her cute quirks, but I know this face since the first days I can remember. This is not nothing at all, it is a thought, a desire, that will no longer accept to rest in silence.

‘God damn! She actually considers it!’ I felt how my cock began to throb again at the thought. Felt how my blood rushed into the muscle and warmed my testicles. ‘Fuck. Turn around you idiot. If she sees you know, if she confronts you about, what is happening. If you tell her right now… everything will be ruined! … but this would be the good, the right thing… wouldn’t it?’

“Eh hem… rest a little longer, sweety. I will start to heat the shower now and we both know that you and cold water will never get along anyway.” I joked, while turning around and leaving the room, already saying most of the text into the empty hallway.

Sylvie mumbled her weak mocking outrage into my bedroom, while I already pushed open the door to my bathroom. Almost fleeing inside, I pushed it back into the frame behind me.

It was in front of the mirror that I finally calmed down a little.

“What do we do now?” I whispered, my voice tipping. ‘What do you mean? What we wanted for several years, you lucky bastard!’ it echoed within me. ‘All these years you were searching for someone, as kinky… ah come on! Who are we kidding? … as fucked up as yourself. You know why you have been so restless. You know why all these relationships never worked out. Why you jumped from one job to another. Because none of them could satisfy you. And here you are, with the one person at your side, who was always there. Who had been so kind, so wonderful with everyone, but also so miserable inside. Who had told you so often, that you are the only one, where she feels like herself, carefree. Who had watched countless fucked up Japanese porn with you and got off like a fountain, while you whispered tainted fantasies into her mind.’

My gaze finally found my reflection in the mirror. ‘She is the one, always has been, and you know it.’ There was this heat and throbbing again in my loins. 'Damn, if Sylvie gets in now, I would just fuck her on the cold tiles. Get your shower dude.'

Like every time I was greeted by the freezing waves at first, until the water heater had enough time to pump the warm source of joy through the tubes. But right then I even welcomed the literal cold shower. Just as my swelling took its flight in terror, my rational thoughts returned.

‘Ok, big guy. And now let’s come back to reality. Even if we would take our next steps, you know, that you would never ever let someone harm her for real. You know, what had happened to her, back then. No one will ever let her suffer like that again. That’s what you have promised her in these nights of truth and tears and that is what you have sworn yourself every single day, when you saw what kind soul she is and how much joy she carries into this world.

So, if we really do that. You will watch over her, take care of her, like she does it for you, every time you talk. Stand masturbating in the corner. Ha! As if… even if I would try that, she will later have my balls for leaving my watch.’ An uncontrollable laugh erupted from my chest at these absurd images. Just as I heard the telltale creak of the bathroom door and felt the first waves of warm water caressing my skin.

‘We will have to be careful, and I think I have some promising ideas. How to fulfil our kinky desires. I will be watching over you, sweety. I promise.’ And with this thought I felt her warm body gently sliding against mine.