The sorry tale of Ramberth Manuel

There is no answer from the warrens so you enter with your not so loyal troops. The warrens twist and turn to confuse trespassers but your goblin guides know every inch of the place so are able to lead you unwaveringly as you travel through what appears to the inexpert eye abandoned caves and tunnels.

After what seems an eternity journeying through twisting tunnels that leave you uncertain of the way back to the surface the sound of battle rings from deeper within the warren causing you and your warriors to quicken your pace. Your elves draw their swords while the goblins favour their clubs or rusty knives with simple wooden shields as you advance forward. Fortunately due to their nature the elves and goblins move largely silently so that you soon find yourselves witnessing the battle unnoticed by the combatants.

A "hero" is in the centre of what looks to be an underground cavern which has been turned into a temple, there is an altar with a huge skeletal face craved into rock behind it with candles dotted around to provide light even though neither you or the goblins need it. The hero is dressed as a knight wielding a two handed hammer while wearing a silver helmet, red armour and green leggings, he is surrounded by injured or dead goblin women.

The knight laughs as he strikes the last of them down, mocking the dead females for their ugliness. On that he could have a point since a goblin female looks much the same as a male, scrawny green short creatures with crooked sharp discolored teeth, yellow eyes, bald heads, pointy hairy ears, sharp claws, knobbly knees and large flat feet. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and goblins must find other goblins attractive enough since they breed like rabbits.

The goblin warriors accompanying you roar with rage and move to attack the knight, he turns and laughs louder as he sees a blue skinned man with elves and goblins "aha, more canonfodder, how wonderful! Its tiresome exterminating these pests with little experience to gain from it but these likely lads with speed things up. Soon I, Ramberth Manuel, will not only be the most handsome hero in the land but the greatest as well. Have at yea, thy lowly scoundrels" he bellows as he advances swinging the hammer.

The goblins screech and charge forward in a mob, Ramberth smashes the hammer against the floor causing a shockwave which scatters the goblins. You cast your defensive spells of bone ward feeling tougher as your bones thicken, the air ripples as your shield spell takes effect and the hues change as the cloak of darkness causes you to switch to Dark vision.

"Damn you cowardly vermin, you can't hide in dark from me you know" threatens the knight "none can stand before my mighty warhammer, Lucille, and live!"

"Minions, stand back and bear witness to your masters might" you order your dark vision enabled warriors.

The knight launches himself in the direction of your voice but misses wildly, you take a few steps back and quickly cast bestow curse and befuddle which slows his reactions slightly, he swings wildly in what he thinks is your direction and trips over a dead goblin body causing him to tumble to the ground and his weapon to scatter from his hands.

Your victim is distracted by his misfortune and fumbles in his inventory for a potion, seizing the opportunity you dart forward and snatch his weapon from the ground.

Rather than finish this quickly you feel drunk on power so decide to toy with your victim. You are unable to cast summon undead due to already having the maximum number risen in your service, instead rats begin to appear as you control vermin and bring them to your aid. Ramberth Manuel swigs his potion, "I see you now, a freak such as you shall not defeat someone as pure of heart as Ramberth Manuel " he declares.

He draws a dagger as he springs to his feet facing you. "Now we can fight as honorable men" he challenges.

You don't condescend to answer him. Since you are armed with a weapon that requires space to swing and he has a short ranged dagger he needs to get inside your guard to be effective. The warhammer is unbalanced compared to your familiar spectral axe, your first horizontal swing misses as Ramberth steps back. He ducks under your second horizontal swing, mocking your inability to strike him. With a heave you try a vertical swing to squash him but he steps to the side, you are unable to halt the momentum from the weight of the weapon and strike the ground, exposed for a moment he steps on the handle of the warhammer then darts in to deal damage stabbing at you your ribs, fortunately your shield spell absorbs most of the damage as you grapple the knight. Without room to swing the warhammer and the knife reducing your shield spell you quickly cast befuddle to confuse his mind again, planting your foot behind his you then push him away in a clumsy judo move.

Perhaps due to your curse and befuddle spells or sheer luck your improvised move works and Ramberth Manuel falls back onto the ground. You ready the warhammer for the finishing move but the fallen knight throws the dagger at you, it misses and clatters against the wall onto the floor. He gets to his fight and attempts to bullrush you but you sidestep him, in his spell induced confused state he cannot stop his momentum as he literally runs head first into the wall. He staggers but remains standing, even more dazed and confused than a spell could cause as concussion sets in, as he slowly turns to face you it is obvious that the top of his metal helmet has been crushed by the impact from him running into the wall. His eyes are so unfocused they appear crossed, blood runs down from the top of his cracked skull, when he speaks its slurred and nonsensical as he attempts to say his name "Raaam... Man...".

You almost don't given the murderer of largely defenceless goblin females mercy but the knight is so pathetic you can't stand to look at him anymore. You heft the two handed warhammer, take care aim and strike at his head with a vertical blow. There is wet crunching sound as you hit your target, Ramberth Manuel's eyes cross fully, the blow is with such **** that the bones in his legs shatter, warping until they look like coiled springs. The knights last breath almost sounds like a "duh" sound as he crumbles to the ground in a lifeless heap.

Behind you there is a momentary stunned silence which soon turns to yells of celebration as the goblins celebrate your victory. The elves share glances between themselves, unsure what they would be celebrating.

At your signal the vermin which had been loitering in the shadows stream forward and begin to devour the corpses of the goblinkin and their murderer, Ramberth Manuel.