The one thing that kept me from giving up every time

“So… what did you want to talk about?” Nick asked cautiously. Mary, sensing the tone of the conversation, had graciously retreated back to the kitchen, leaving her husband and Dani to finish their dessert in peace.

Dani sighed. That was the first sign to Nick that this wasn’t exactly going to be the best conversation for him. But he didn’t want to risk any issues by jumping the gun, so he waited to hear exactly what she wanted to say.

“I talked with Serenity this morning,” Dani informed him. “After my workout with Kim.”

“…Oh,” was all Nick had to say. If he was being honest, part of him had completely forgotten about the siren living in their basement until Dani brought her up. But it wasn’t his fault! There were a lot of other, more pressing issues to deal with than a girl who just wanted to be left alone.

“We had a long discussion about harems, and the role of ‘women like us’ in them,” Dani said quietly, almost pensive in her tone. Nick was intrigued by the calm expression on her face; it suggested that she was really thinking deeply about this, which was unusual for her.

“Women like you meaning…”

“Lesbians, Nick. Come on, you’re not that stupid,” Dani snapped.

Nick had suspected that was her meaning. But with Dani, it was better to not make any assumptions about… well, anything.

He didn’t know what to say about that, honestly. The place of lesbians in harems? What perspective could he possibly offer that wouldn’t send her off the deep end?

Unable to think of any, he kept his mouth shut tight.

Sensing his reticence, Dani knew that she needed to give a bit more clarification. The last thing she wanted here was to make Nick uncomfortable.

“So basically, what I’m saying…” Ugh, Dani was really having trouble getting her thoughts out in a way that could connect with him. “…The two of us, we need to figure out what my place is going to be, in this new harem of yours,” she stated. “Since it’s not like I can just go my own way after we get back home, you know.”

Nick nodded in understanding. According to the rules that Sylvia had explained, and Dakota had reaffirmed, the women in his harem were bound to him forever. And while he didn’t know what exactly that meant, he suspected that Dani wouldn’t exactly be a free-range lesbian. Especially not so long as she maintained her relationship with Carly, who would probably want to stay by his side out of convenience’ sake.

“Don’t you think this is a conversation that Carly should be here for?” Nick tried again. With Carly here, he suspected that things would go a lot smoother, and there would be less chance of him saying something that would upset his friend.

The speed with which Dani shook her head signaled that she had already considered the possibility and dismissed it.

“No,” she replied. “This isn’t about Carly. It’s not about my relationship with her, or your relationship with her. This is about the two of us, and our relationship.”

That was surprising to hear. Nick stared at her for a moment, confused.

“Do… do we have a relationship?” Nick questioned. “I know we never ironed out how things were going to go between the three of us, but I’m pretty sure any relationship we have is linked through Carly, not… well, you know…”

He let the sentence hang there unended so Dani could get the insinuation. And she got it alright. Her face turned red and she narrowed her eyes into a glare.

“Not… not that kind of relationship!” She sputtered, fuming at him. “I’m not talking about sex or romance! I’m talking about our friendship, Nick!”

Nick blinked. “Oh, well… I figured that there wouldn’t be anything to talk about,” he replied, feeling a little embarrassed. “Since we’re friends. I thought that you were talking about something completely new.”

Words could not describe the relief that washed over him at not having to add Dani and her temper issues to his rapidly-complicating love life. As much as he may have liked her once upon a time, their relationship had settled into being comfortably platonic, and even if she WAS interested in guys that way, Nick wasn’t sure if he’d necessarily be interested in her, in return.

Dani frowned.

“Well… that’s just it,” she sighed. “That’s what Serenity and I talked about. Yeah, you and I, we’re just friends. And I’m fine with that. But is that really what my role in the harem is going to be, moving forward? Your platonic friend?”

“I don’t see why not,” Nick replied. “I mean, it’s not like you want anything to do with this whole harem drama to begin with, you’ve made that abundantly clear.”

“I know, and that’s what’s getting to me.” Dani sat back in her seat and sighed. She twirled a lock of blue hair in her fingers and pushed her plate away, full for now. “I just don’t know. It’s not like I want to be more than your friend, Nick. But I feel like I’m an outsider. Like I don’t belong.”

That was what really got to her. It wasn’t like Dani yearned to be the center of attention. Even back in school when people were admiring her for her athletic abilities and praising her drawing skills, she still didn’t feel like she needed to be praised.

But now…

“…It’s lonely,” she said finally. “I feel like everyone I know, they’re all growing, going through this new chapter in their lives. Kim, Carly, even Marley, they’re all getting acclimated to this harem stuff, and me… well, like you said, I’m just your lesbian best friend.”

Nick tried to see Dani’s side of things, he really did. But he just couldn’t wrap his brain around what it was she actually wanted.

“I mean, you don’t WANT to sleep with me, we’ve already established that, and I feel the same way,” Nick pointed out. “So what does being included mean? What would help you feel less lonely?”

Dani shrugged. She’d spent all day trying to come up with an answer to that question, and had drawn a total blank.

“I don’t really know,” she admitted. “I just know that the way things are going now… I don’t feel content. It’s like I’m so restless and uncertain…”

She pressed her fingers together and brought them up to her forehead, then closed her eyes and tried to focus her thoughts.

It was easier said than done.

“…Think about it like this,” she said finally, raising her head and looking Nick in the eyes. “We’re all going to, I don’t know, a party. One of Gina’s parties. And all the girls, they’re all angling to be with you and occupy your attention in one way or another, right? Rose is doing Rose things, Mary is being all doting, Gina’s being a sycophant, you get the idea.”

Nick nodded. That was easy to envision.

“And then there’s just… me,” Dani said with an awkward shrug. “What would I be doing? Standing in the corner, twiddling my thumbs? This harem, it’s built with you as its center, and in a sexual context, but that just doesn’t work for me, for obvious reasons. And I don’t want it to, either.”

“I think I get it,” Nick nodded, finally starting to put the pieces together. “So it’s like… you want to feel like you have a place. Like you belong. Is that right?”

“Yes!” Dani nodded emphatically. “Exactly! But… I don’t. I’m just the lesbian best friend. So what’s my role? What am I supposed to be doing at some wild sex party? Just sleep with Carly in the corner or whatever? How is that fair to her? In a group setting, I’d be monopolizing her time, and then you two wouldn’t be able to do anything…”

Her voice trailed off and she shook her head as she realized what she was doing, and quickly decided to change positions. “No, forget about that. That’s not what I meant to talk about.”

“Huh?” Nick raised his eyebrow, curious. “What do you mean?”

Dani sighed. “I don’t want to bring Carly into this. That was a mistake on my part. Again, this is about you and me. The other girls, they’re a part of it too, but… it’s about you and me. You and me, and what that means for your harem.”

Nick nodded, seeing where she was going with this, even if he didn’t know the ultimate destination they’d arrive at. “I think I get it. So… what do you think? Because honestly, I’m not really sure I have any workable ideas.”

“Yeah, I’m not surprised,” Dani grumbled, shaking her head. “After all, this mess is my problem, not yours…”

Nick frowned. “Hey, that’s not fair! You’re my friend, Dani, I care about you, too. I take your problems very seriously!”

Dani smiled. Or at least, she tried to. Her expression looked a little too sad to be considered a genuine smile.

“That’s sweet, Nick, really, it is,” she said softly, then she shook her head. “But… it’s not that simple, and you know it.”

“Why not?” Nick asked.

“Because… you have all those other women. You’re the center of this harem, and me, I’m just some girl who’s barely on the fringe of it,” she pointed out. “If you can’t solve the problem, well, big deal, you’ve got other girls who can occupy your time. But for me… we’re talking about my life here. My future. And I just don’t know what that’s going to look like when we all head home.”

“…That’s fair,” Nick admitted, lowering his head. “Honestly, I haven’t really considered what life’s gonna be like when we leave this place, either. Sylvia said we’d only be here for a hundred days, but a lot’s changed since then.”

They’d passed the halfway mark already, but that had been with a completely different host. Now that Dakota was in charge, Nick couldn’t be sure that she wouldn’t use any trick she could think of to keep this situation running forever.

It sounded like the kind of thing she would do.

“…But you married Mary,” Dani pointed out. “That’s a pretty significant change.”

“I know,” Nick nodded. “And when we get back to earth, that’s something that we’re going to formally move forward with. But what’s going to happen then? Am I going to have everybody come over and stay in my house? It’s not that big. And I don’t have a cage for Holly.”

That was an awkward attempt at a joke, and Nick was relieved that Dani bailed him out with a laugh and a shake of her head.

“Yeah, that’s really going to be weird,” she agreed. “But you know, Nick, it’s not like we’re out of options or anything. We just need to think all this stuff through.”

She stood up from her chair and stretched, and walked over to the couch. Nick moved to follow her, and the two sat down next to each other to talk about what would come next.

If either of them even knew.

“If we’re going to seriously iron out roles in the harem, then that’s something that needs the whole group here for,” Nick pointed out.

Dani shook her head. “That wasn’t my intention,” she replied. “Frankly, I just wanted to know what we should do about… well, everything. No specifics, just big-picture stuff. Like you said, we don’t know how this whole mess is going to go, or when we’ll actually be allowed to go home.”

Nick nodded. “Well, suffice to say, I don’t think that the government is going to accept me registering Sylvia as my child.”

Dani snorted and rolled her eyes. “Ugh, starting off with a major headache? Yeah, that sounds like you alright… Good point though. Sylvia doesn’t have a social security number or any ID. And I doubt Augmented Synthetic Humanoid Assassin does, either.”

Nick’s mind immediately flashed to Cinder and Ella. That was a complicated problem if ever there was one.

“…Yeah, let’s stick to the big-picture stuff, not the specifics,” he agreed. “And I guess… the stuff with you, too.”

Dani bit her lip and nodded.

“…Oh there is one thing I should mention,” Nick added. “Back when I was going on those dates with all the new girls added to the harem-”

“And your stepmother,” Dani couldn’t help but interject with a smirk.

It earned her a dirty look from Nick.

“…Yes. And Amelia,” he said through gritted teeth. “But this isn’t about Amelia. This is about Vivian, actually.”

“Oh?” Dani perked up at that. “Vivian? What about her?”

“She said that if we got married for real, her and me, then I’d have access to all her money and all the other stuff,” Nick informed her. “She’s got a massive estate. We could basically live the rest of our lives in comfort and luxury.”

“Yeah, but we’d have to live in Europe,” Dani pointed out. She made a face.

Nick rolled his eyes. “Are you kidding me?”

“Yes. Partly.” Dani cracked a smile. “So… what did you say?”

“Well, you can see we’re not married,” Nick pointed out, glancing to the kitchen door where Mary was waiting. “I think that kind of speaks for itself, don’t you?”

Dani nodded. “Fair enough,” she agreed. “So with that in mind…”

Nick sighed.

With that in mind… things were really in a tricky place.

“I was definitely tempted,” he said. “After all, being able to support everyone and take care of them… that’s a lot of the problems solved right there. But I don’t know Vivian well enough to trust her with that. Marriage is a massive thing, and I don’t even know if we like each other yet.”

Dating with ulterior motives, marriage for ulterior motives… all of that turned his stomach. “I’ve always wanted my wife to be someone I married for love,” Nick said, looking to the kitchen again.

“Well, you did that,” Dani pointed out. “You and Mary…”

“Right, but… it’s just an island ceremony,” he reminded her. “We may be bound to each other as husband and wife, but legally speaking, nothing really changed for me. By earth laws, I mean.”

He had no idea if there was some multiverse bonded contract he’d made with some all-powerful deity by marrying his wife on Harem Hotel. He wouldn’t put it past the twisted producers, though.

“Well, you’re going to end up marrying a lot of other people,” Dani pointed out. “Besides just Mary. You know Rose isn’t going to settle for being your mistress, not if Mary gets treated as the ‘official’ wife.”

Nick nodded. “I figured that went without saying,” he muttered. “Even without factoring in Rose… who knows how any of the other women will feel? Vivian for sure wants to be my wife, legally, even if I don’t know whether or not she has any hidden motives for doing so. And as for everybody else…”

There were several women who wanted to marry him, or at least might. And that’s before the courts got involved.

Even if all the “marriages” were simply ceremonial with no legal binding, there was bound to be a lot of conflict and jealousy over who would be the “official” wife.

As someone who loathed conflict, Nick wasn’t looking forward to that.

Dani stared silently at his friend as she watched him grapple with all these issues. While they hadn’t actually solved her problem yet, it was clear that this was something he was putting a lot of thought into.

That was good. More of that, please.

“…I think that a situation like this is a tricky one,” she said finally. “We’re all going to have to figure it out together. By working together.”

Nick was stunned. He never would have thought Dani would propose something like that. She seemed way more likely to openly defy the idea of submitting to a “harem” in any sense of the word.

But he was smart enough to not say anything about that and keep his mouth shut.

“I wish I could help you out somehow,” he admitted to his friend. “But stuff like finding the position of anyone in the harem is an issue. I just haven’t given it a lot of thought.”

Dani smiled sadly and nodded. “Honestly… I expected that,” she admitted. “It’s not like I’m giving you a fair shake with this. It’s a little selfish to come up and demand you figure out what I should do with my life. But I just thought I should talk about it, you know? And maybe we can work out something together.”

Nick smiled sadly. “I’m glad you’re thinking about this,” he admitted. “For a long time, I’ve been concerned that all this harem stuff…. That it would damage our relationship. We’re friends again, and that’s important to me.”

“Nah, not a chance,” Dani said, waving her hand. “I know the kind of guy you are, remember? So I’m not going to be bothered by all this. I know you’re not aiming for anything untoward.”

She sighed and looked down at the carpet.

“I just wish I could get that sense of belonging, you know?” She said quietly, almost whispering. “It feels like everyone else is finding their place where they belong… but me… I just don’t know.”

And that’s what hurt the most.

Dani had been an outsider in her own life more times than she would like.

She really didn’t want to be in that position again.

Nick nodded sympathetically, wracking his brain to try and come up with something he could say or do to support her.

“Well… there’s no sense in worrying about it right now!” Dani finally decided, and hopped to her feet. “Until I find my place in your harem, I’ll just have to settle for being your friend!”

She flashed a bright smile that made Nick smile back at her. He nodded.

“I think I like that,” he agreed. “So… what do you say? Want to just play some video games and pass the night away like that?”

“Sounds good,” Dani nodded. “And maybe you can bring in Mary and Holly, too. Four player? The more the merrier, after all.”

Nick wasn’t sure they’d like it, but if that’s what Dani wanted, then he was fine with it.

He didn’t want her to feel ostracized or like an outsider, either. And if all of them getting along and having fun for a night could help her a little, then he was happy to do it!

So he went to go get the others while Dani got the game machine hooked up and loaded.

It wasn’t a night for solving problems, but it would be a night that everyone could enjoy themselves, at least.