The next morning

Rise and shine...

I woke up before my alarm, feeling a bit groggy and unexpectedly cold. I had gone to bed in just a long night shirt and panties, so when the blanket was pulled from my exposed legs they immediately turned to gooseflesh. Eyes closed, I reached for the covers to try and get warm again, but couldn't seem to find them, instead feeling soft hands grabbing at my thighs and rolling my body over so I was lying on my back. "Jasper?" I cooed sleepily, as I felt the hands reach for my undies and start to pull them down. Oooh, was he trying to return the favor from last night?

I cocked one eye open, and then both in alarm! Standing above my open legs was Jasper, staring at my box intently. He held a damp wash cloth in one hand and a blue pear-shaped bottle in the other, its top a narrow transparent straw.

"Is that a douche?" I cried out in dismay, shaking the cobwebs from my head and eyes. "What on Earth are you doing?"

The engineer just nodded, his tongue between his teeth, and remained absorbed in his task. "They say it lasts longer if you clean it."

"Who says it lasts longer? What are you talking about? My vagina?!"

"Mmhmm," my boyfriend nodded slowly. He reached out with the bottle, but I closed my legs in a hurry, recoiling as I sat upward. My insides felt strange and nauseous after I sat up so quickly.

"It's just water," Jasper intoned, barely registering my withdrawal and reaching for my legs again. I slapped the bottle from his hand, and scooping it up menacingly, brandished the douche like a knife.

"I don't care what it is! Why would you try and douche my vagina!" I growled, my outrage palpable as I pushed my boyfriend off of me. The large man fell gently back on his heels and thought for a moment before repeating:

"They say it lasts longer if you clean it."

I squinted at him, perplexed. "What? Is something wrong with it? Does it smell weird?"

He shook his head no and seemed to respond a bit more lucidly, "No Babe no, I just thought...um...I thought I should clean it...."

"WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT?" I held up my arms searching for an answer, but when none came I continued. "Keep that stuff away from me, it's bad for women, causes yeast infections and stuff." Again he nodded slowly, but I still had my doubts, so I clarified, "and if anyone's going to clean my vagina, it's me! You don't do that. Got it?"

Jasper stood there pensively, not sure what to do with his rag, but I heard my phone buzzing which meant it was time for me to get going. I told him we'd talk about this later, and putting my glasses on, checked my phone for any new messages. Shit, I was supposed to meet Erika at the gym in like 30 minutes.

Leaving my confused boyfriend behind, I scrambled for the bathroom and leapt into the shower as it was barely warm. Shivering in the spray, I counted my blessings that I didn't have to shave today, my legs unexpectedly silky smooth despite three days without maintenance. Once I had shampooed and conditioned, I self-consciously ran a washcloth over my mons, and hesitantly pulled it to my nose to take a whiff.

It all...smelled....fine I guess? I had heard of men complaining before, but up until now, never heard of one trying to clean it themselves. I guess engineers are die-hard problem solvers, I laughed nervously to myself.

But there was something new about my pussy. As I rubbed with my fingers and washcloth, I saw my pubes start to fall out. A whole mass of them were sticking to the washcloth like a bird's nest. Disgusted, I almost washed them down the drain, but worrying about clogging, I turned off the shower instead and dumped the hair in the nearby wastebasket. What remained on my waist was patchy, and I started to wonder if Jasper really had done something to me while I slept, but that wouldn't make any sense, right? What douche makes hair fall out, I thought as I wrapped myself in a towel. Besides he said it was just water, and I know Jasper, he wouldn't lie.

Defogging the mirror to take a closer look, my second symptom of the day greeted me. A round rash had formed around my mouth and lips, like a child who had been sucking on a plastic cup, the pressure forming a rosy hallow around their cheeks once it was removed. Grimacing I touched the scarlet demarcation, finding it rough and prickly to the touch. What on earth could have caused this?

On the counter, my phone vibrated again: Erika asking me if she should pick up juice on the way, and I cursed knowing I had no time for this. Once my hair was dry and curled, I took some foundation and unscrewed the cap, liberally applying the stuff to hide the strange marks.

Finally dressed in my gym clothes, I shouted to Jasper that I loved him, and headed for the car. He had gone to his at-home office to work on his computer, and returned my affection with a jubilant "love you, too." I smiled a little guiltily, but reassured myself with a quick "so far so good," before heading off to the gym.