The next day

My balls still kind of ached but were (very thankfully) mostly recovered by now, Kyla had already left for work in a hurry after a quick breakfast, cramming toast into her mouth like an animal before grabbing her keys, jacket and rushing out the door. Leaving me all alone until she got back….

What did I do again? Oh yeah I’m unemployed.

I switch on the tv and settle into place, tuning into my favourite show, my phone turned on and sitting beside me in case of emergency.

About 2 hours pass like that before I crave some lunch, and being the genius that I am I decide to make good use of my latest scam - that ‘scam’ being ordering food on delivery apps and claiming the items didn’t show up. Truly an impeccable strategy.

As I’m sorting through the various restaurants in my area, a call window pops up, obscuring my scroll.

It’s…