The life of St Perpetua

“I was considering talking about St Perpetua. The school is named after her, but I wonder how many of the students know anything about her.”

Dr Stricture has grown very still. Her brown eyes are intensely studying you.

“And do you know anything about her, Mr Smith?” There’s a chill in her voice.

You go through what you’ve know. You talk about how she saved the town from a pagan invasion. You take the tale that she was the daughter of the local lord. You think that would chime would the girls. You follow the tale where the chief of the pagans was struck blind. You leave the reason why he was struck blind out. You then add a happy ending, how the girls returned to the town and the church, and the pagan raiders left.

Dr Stricture is silent throughout.

“I’m glad to see you’ve removed the more salacious aspects of her story.”

“You’ve heard the story. I mean, I only found a few snippets in some obscure sources.”

“I am aware of it. I was told the story when I took this job, some twenty years ago now.” Twenty years? Dr Stricture has been headmistress of the school for twenty years? You knew she’d been headmistress for a while, but not that long. “And ever since then, me and the school board have been trying to minimise the mention of the aforementioned saint. It has always been a great distress to the board that our founder chose her name for the school. There were so many other much more outstanding candidates. Previous headmistresses have considered changing the school’s name. Unfortunately, the school has a solid reputation based on that name. It is known that many people move to this town for the sole purpose of sending their daughters here. It was decided not to change it.”

“You handle the story with respect and I appreciate that, but if we talk about her, some of the girls start digging, and many of the stories about her are not suitable. I would rather the story of St Perpetua disappeared completely. As such I cannot accept your proposal. And I’m disappointed that would even consider it.”

What? You’d put some good work in. You really thought this was a great idea. But it’s a definitive no.

Another thought. The way Dr Stricture is talking is as if she knows more about the story of St Perpetua than you, and you had access to the best academic investigations. Is there evidence she’s hiding? Did they hide it from your colleague when he came looking? You don’t know what to make of it.

It’s only a story. It won’t corrupt anyone’s mind. Yet Dr Stricture acts as if it’s dynamite. You’re exasperated. You’re stunned. You barely hear Dr Stricture’s dismissal. You wander out, confused, messed up, unable to think. Except to think this is the dumbest, stupidest thing you’ve heard since you joined the school.

You’re already thinking Mrs Oversight should retire. Now you’re thinking the same about Dr Stricture.