The law

Until I see blue lights flashing behind me and hear the awful sound of a siren. Fuck.

I pull over to the right most lane and take the first exit. I take it slow and pull into the first parking lot I see. My nudity is now on the forefront of my mind. I am so screwed. I just got pulled over and I’m wearing nothing. I put the car into park and the police car stops behind me. I slow my breath, trying to calm myself before the inevitable. I roll the window down and keep my hands on the wheel. How am I going to talk my way out of this? I’m going to have a panic attack.

I look to Josh and he gives me a look of reassurance.

“Hey, listen, it’s going to be okay. I promise I won’t let anything happen to you,” he says.

It doesn’t feel reassuring. This is happening. I’m being pulled over by an officer of the law for speeding, and I’m not wearing a stitch of clothing. The officer is going to see everything. Everything! I should have just stayed home tonight. This is unbelievable. I never planned to let Josh see my body, let alone some random police officer.

The officer walks up to my window and it’s a man. He looks like he’s in his mid-30s, short brown hair, a bit of a pot belly. He makes me nervous. He looks at me and doesn’t say anything. His silence is palpable.

After what feels like an eternity, he says in a powerful, southern drawl, “License and registration, please.”