The joker ain't the only fool who'll do anything for you

Rose looked over her shoulder for the fiftieth time.

“A-Are you sure we shouldn’t go back for Dawn?” She asked, turning to Holly. “What if those slime girls caught her?”

“Then she’s in trouble,” Holly said. “If the slime girls got her, then if we go back, more of us will get caught. And if they didn’t catch her and she just ran off somewhere, that’s fine too. That was her decision.”

She turned and looked ahead. “Besides… we’re here.”

The Harem Hotel loomed menacingly over their heads. Rose swallowed her doubts as they walked inside. Depending on how things went today, this might be the last time she passed through these doors as a free woman.

No, I need to stop worrying. We’ve got this one in the bag. I had no idea that one of the possible rewards for this challenge would be something that would actually affect the rankings, but it’s a good thing it was. This way, Holly will get immunity and I’ll be her buddy. Yeah, that’s how it’s supposed to go.

Still, something was nagging at her. Why would Sylvia put something so beneficial in this game? Something that could completely turn the situation around? Was it really just because there was a chance for it to go wrong if you collected the Nines too early? Or was there something Rose was missing?

I’ve gotta be overthinking this… besides, it’s not like I know what the other rewards are going to be anyway. What we need to do now is focus on collecting the rest of the cards.

“Okay, guys.” Nick addressed the girls when they had all gathered in the lobby. Fortunately, the hotel seemed slime free, although all the faeries had mysteriously vanished. “We need to end this challenge as fast as possible before anyone loses anymore clothing. If those slime girls grab us, we’re going to be in trouble. So we need to find the cards as fast as possible. I think we should prioritize winning second and collecting the cards first, so please, let’s not get competitive about this!”

“That’s easy for you to say,” Gina said, curling a lock of her newly-blackened hair. “After all, you don’t have anything riding on this game. Some of us are dealing with possible elimination. People will do anything when that's on the line, apparently.”

She glanced over at Rose and Holly pointedly, and Rose averted her eyes.

Nick sighed. “Yeah, I get it,” he admitted. “It’s not that easy. But still. We need to think about this, okay? If the slime girls get us, that’s it for everyone.”

“We should split up into groups of two,” Carly suggested. “We can search the hotel faster that way. And that way if someone gets grabbed, the other person can run and go get help.”

“Come on, haven’t you ever seen a horror movie before?” Rose scowled. “Splitting up in a situation like this is asking for trouble. We should stay together, as a group.”

“Huh? But you were just fine splitting up when we were outside!” Carly protested.

“That was a different situation,” Rose said, shaking her head. “We were outside then. There were plenty of places and directions we could run, and the goal was to divide up the horde. But in the hotel, things are different. We have hallways. Dead ends. What if we’re trapped in a tight room when the slime girls come? It would be better to have more people around to fight them off in that situation.”

The others stared at her. Rose’s explanation was surprisingly well thought-out.

“You know a lot about military strategy and stuff,” Gina said, surprised. “I’m impressed. Are you really French?”

Rose’s eye twitched. “What’s THAT supposed to mean?” She scowled

“Well, I figured that the first thing you’d think of would be to surrender to the slime girls, I meant.”

Rose turned red. “That-! That is a stereotype! I’ll have you know that there have been many successful French military campaigns in history! Have you ever heard of a man named Napoleon Bonaparte?!”

“…What, the ice cream guy?”

“What?!” Rose’s jaw dropped in shock.

Kim shook her head. “No, Gina, Napoleon is a Japanese spaghetti recipe with ketchup. I dunno what that has to do with the military though. Maybe he was some famous military chef? Did the French ever invade Japan?”

“Eew, gross,” Gina stuck her tongue out. “Who would put ketchup on spaghetti?”

Rose looked like she was about to burst a blood vessel.

Holly placed her hand on the other woman’s arm to calm her down. “Rose… they’re messing with you, you realize that right?”

“I know,” Rose said through clenched teeth. No one was that stupid (well, maybe Gina was). “But… I still… want to strangle them…!”

“Yeah, I totally get that feeling,” Dakota said, draping her arms over Rose and Holly’s shoulders, sighing.

The two women froze.

“D-Dakota…” Holly stammered, her face turning white. Dakota grabbed a shoulder of each woman and squeezed tightly, a smile plastered across her lips.

“Um… listen…” Rose glanced at Nick, pleading for help with her eyes.

“Dakota, you made it,” Nick sighed with relief. “Look, I know you’re probably upset about what those two did-”

“Upset? Me?” Dakota’s voice was as soft as silk. The kind of silk you wrapped into a noose and then hung someone with, but still, silk.

“Hey, listen, um… I know this is a really bad time, but we should really get going, yeah?” Dani said, staring warily at Dakota. The sudden arrival of the other woman had completely changed the mood of the room. “If we wait too long, those slime girls are gonna find us!”

“Oh, yeah, no, no point in worry about that,” Dakota said. She jutted her thumb over her shoulder. “They followed me all the way here.”

The doors to the hotel burst open, and a tidal wave of sticky white gunk flooded into the room. Girls began to form out of the muck, shambling towards them.

“RUN!” Mary screamed, and all semblance of strategy went out the window. The girls ran all over the place, down hallways and into elevators.

Rose and Holly leapt into an elevator, only to see Dakota run towards them.

“Uh…” Rose glanced at Holly, who pressed the “door close” button so fast her finger was a blur.

Sadly, Dakota leapt through the doors in the last second, smiling at the girls.

“Hello. Room for one more?” She purred as the doors closed tight behind her.

“This way!” Dani shouted to Carly. The two of them had found another working elevator, and hid inside. The doors slid closed at the last second, before Kim could get on. Mary was nowhere to be seen, and Nick and Gina were already surrounded. No hope there.

“Shit, this is going awful,” Carly wailed. She’d tried to hold the door for Kim but it had been too little, too late.

“Nick was right, the only way we can settle this is if we find the rest of the cards,” Dani said. “Good thing your hand is empty.”

Carly nodded. “I checked a few of the rooms already. Thankfully, these elevators come with a brochure.” She grabbed the little pamphlet and unfolded it.

And unfolded it.

And unfolded it.

And unfolded it.

“That’s… a lot of rooms,” Dani said, staring down at the pamphlet unrolling itself like a scroll. “Can we really check all of these?”

“Do we have a choice?” Carly groaned. “Let’s start with the bedrooms first. That should be easy enough.”

Carly took the elevator up to their bedroom, and they tore the place apart looking for cards. Sadly, none could be found.

“At least I can finally change,” Carly sighed in relief. She stripped off her hood and put on a change of underwear. Unfortunately, that was the only thing she had the latitude to do. Anything else would be considered a new outfit.

“It’s fine, you look better that way,” Dani grinned. She’d become a little bit more confident since they entered a life and **** situation. It was astounding how easy it was to flirt when you had bigger things to concern yourself with.

Not finding any boxes in their room, the girls went to check the other rooms. That was easier said than done.

“We can’t get in, they’re locked,” Carly sighed. “Makes sense. Privacy and all that.”

“Fuck privacy,” Dani said bluntly, kicking down the door to Dakota and Holly’s room. They entered, but couldn’t find a single trace of a black box.

They stepped outside and glanced at each other.

“Black room would be the perfect hiding place for one of those,” Carly noted.

“Works for me,” Dani nodded, and kicked in Gina and Dawn’s door next.

Once again, they came back empty-handed. Although Carly did make a note that Gina’s wardrobe had been changed out, with all the dresses and blouses replaced with leather clothes, torn jeans, short skirts, and ripped tops.

“No luck there, either…” Dani sighed. Three bedrooms, and no cards in any of them. That just left one room.

They stood outside the door of Team Virgin’s room, and Dani raised her leg to kick the door in. Instead, she tumbled forward as the door swung open and nearly crashed into Mary as she walked out.

“Uwah!?” Mary screamed, stumbling backwards. Her face was as white as the rest of her room.

“Mary?!” Carly sputtered. “What are you doing here?”

“I-I had to change my clothes!” Mary said, gesturing to the new outfit she was wearing. It was some outfit. In fact, it was more outfit than Carly had ever seen.

“Uh… how many sweaters is that?” She asked.

“S-Seven…”

This girl really did not want to be stripped naked.

“It’s like a hundred degrees outside, you’ve gotta be roasting!” Dani gasped.

Mary shook her head adamantly. “The fires of the realm of sinners burn far hotter than this island,” she said harshly. “I shall not display my body in such manner again!”

Carly’s eye twitched at Mary’s accidental insinuation that she was going to hell, but didn’t say anything. “Sure, sounds good. You didn’t happen to find a card in there, did you?”

Mary blinked, then glanced around and saw the other doors had been kicked in.

“N-No…”

“Drat. So much for that plan,” Dani sighed. “I guess there’s always the Master’s Suite.”

“But only Nick can go there,” Carly reminded her. “No, we’ve gotta try somewhere else.”

“I-I’ll come too,” Mary said. “It’s safer together, after all.”

She waddled forward. In all her layers of bulky clothing she could barely walk.

Dani and Carly shared unfortunate expressions. If they came across the slime girls, Mary was probably gonna be grabbed, sweaters or no sweaters.

They all piled into the elevator and went to go look for more places to search.

Meanwhile, in another elevator, Holly and Rose threw themselves at Dakota’s mercy.

“Please don’t **** us!” Holly begged.

“We had to do it to win!” Rose wailed.

Dakota just stared blankly at them. “I said I wasn’t upset.”

Rose wasn’t fooled. She’d seen thousands of fake smiles in her day, and Dakota wasn’t even trying. “Your mouth might be saying that, but your eyes are saying ‘I’m gonna **** a bitch’!”

“Oh! Please, please don’t **** me!” Holly wailed. “Nick has to be the first one to **** me! And then he’ll throw me away for being so useless and-”

“Holly! Keep it together!” Rose smacked her on the head. Holly blushed, glancing down.

Dakota sighed and shook her head, crouching in front of the two of them.

“You’re really bad at this, you know that?” She said. “Being villains, I mean. I'm actually surprised you went through with it, Holly, do you even want to win?”

Holly glanced guiltily at Rose and then down at the elevator floor. “…No…” She admitted. “B-But I don’t want Rose to be eliminated, so I… well… I had to…”

“Yeah, I get it. Like I said, I’m not upset. You were playing the game, and you played to win. I’m assuming it was the reward from the Nines that let you take my Kings?” Dakota guessed.

The other two nodded.

“Figures. You used the best hand you had, to dodge elimination. And you did pretty good. I’m actually impressed.”

She smiled wickedly. “I would have done the same in your situation.”

Rose gulped. “S-So… you aren’t going to **** us?”

“Why does everyone think that?!” Dakota groaned. “I’m not going to kill you. I can’t. And even if I could, what would be the point? No, not killing you. But you damn well better believe that if I get immunity somehow, I’m not picking either of you.”

Given the circumstances, Rose actually found that pretty reasonable.

“So, uh… what then?” Holly asked. “If you’re not mad at us…”

“Sylvia,” Dakota seethed, standing back up. “Putting something like that in her fucking challenge? That pisses me off in a way I can’t describe.”

That explained the impotent rage burning on Dakota’s face. It was clear that she wanted to hurt their blonde host somehow, but unfortunately there was no way to do that.

“In the meantime… I thought I’d settle for breaking all her stuff.”

Sylvia sat back in her throne, watching over the progress of the girls. But there was one girl in particular she was interested in.

“Well, hello my girl. And what brings you here?” She asked, leaning forward curiously as Dawn limped towards the stage, her face firm. “You realize your friends are all scouring the hotel looking for cards, yes? Shouldn’t you be joining them?”

She cast a disparaging glance towards the meager amount of cards on Dawn’s belt. “After all… you could really use all the help you can get.”

“Yeah, you’re not wrong,” Dawn nodded. “If I went looking around and found a couple of Queens, or the last Jack, I might be able to scrounge up enough cards to get ahead of Gina. But somehow, I doubt it would go down like that, considering how abysmal my luck has been today. Not to mention that even walking is a bitch at this point.”

“Fair, fair,” Sylvia nodded. “Sorry about that, by the way. There are rules about contestants hurting each other, but when it comes to accidents…”

“Forget it. That’s not why I’m here.”

Sylvia’s eyes sparkled with anticipation. She tightened her grip on her cane. “Really, then… why are you here, my girl?”

A smirk broke the cold expression on Dawn’s face. “To win, of course,” she replied. She checked her Radar System. It was just as she thought. There was a dead zone right where Sylvia was sitting. That was the last piece of evidence she needed that her assumption was correct.

“Ah, I see,” Sylvia nodded. “And you have a method for doing so, is that it? Well, don’t let me stop you, go right ahead and win.”

“…About that. I’m going to need to confirm some things with you first,” Dawn said, narrowing her eyes. “If I remember correctly, you said that to play this game ‘you start with a sealed pack of 52 playing cards’, right?”

“More or less,” Sylvia nodded, resting her cheek on her hand. She had a placid smile, like she was enjoying this conversation.

“That’s right, more or less,” Dawn mused, nodding. “Interesting choice of words. And I noticed that you said it after you burned the Joker. Made a big show of that and everything.”

“Well, of course I had to burn the Joker,” Sylvia laughed. “Otherwise we wouldn’t have 52 cards, would we?”

“…52 cards, more or less,” Dawn corrected her, narrowing her eyes. “Card packs don’t actually come with 52 cards, that’s why you had to burn the Joker.”

Sylvia nodded. “Makes sense to me.”

“So are you saying that there are definitively only 52 cards for us to find?” Dawn asked. “As the host, you wouldn't lie to me if I asked you that directly, would you?”

Sylvia gasped. “Why, Dawn Willowbrook! I’m stunned! Are you telling me that in my game of 52 Pickup: Expert Mode, you think that there are more than 52 cards? I’m appalled at this impeachment of my integrity! Do words mean nothing these days?”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“The very nature of your question offends me,” Sylvia sniffed, turning up her nose. “So I won’t say.”

“You can’t say, you mean,” Dawn corrected her again. “Because you’re not allowed to just lie. You said things like ‘the remaining cards’ and find ‘as many cards as possible’ but you never once said that there were only 52 cards on the island.”

Sylvia stroked her chin thoughtfully. “I didn’t? Well, I’ll have to take your word for it. Your memory is much better than mine, I’m afraid.”

“There’s an extra card, isn’t there?” Dawn demanded. “You hid 53 cards, not 52!”

“And what,” Sylvia said, leaning forward eagerly, “makes you think that?”

Dawn smirked.

“An average pack of cards comes with two Joker cards, not just one.”

Sylvia’s face was as blank as the white sand beneath Dawn’s feet. Then slowly her lips curled up into a smile.

“…And your point being?”

“You made a show of burning up the Joker so we’d assume it wasn’t a factor in this game!” Dawn declared, pointing an accusatory finger at Sylvia like an ambitious and overdramatic attorney. “When really you had the other one hidden with the rest of the cards! A 53rd card, or a trump card, that no one else knew about!”

Even I wouldn’t have thought of this if not for my dream, Dawn thought. I wondered what the point of the jester being there was, if the Joker wasn’t a part of this game. If not for that, the notion of another Joker wouldn’t even have crossed my mind!

If Dawn’s assumption was correct, that 2000 BP would be money well-spent. If not, well… she was about to make a pretty big fool of herself.

Sylvia’s smile widened and she leaned back in her seat, and Dawn knew she had won. The other woman began to applaud.

“Well done. Very well done. Good reasoning, I admit,” Sylvia nodded. “So… what are you doing here then? If you’re so sure that the Joker is hidden somewhere, then why not go look for it? Why waste time chatting me up?”

“That’s why I’m here,” Dawn said. “We’ve combed this whole island and couldn’t find it. It might be in the hotel, sure, but I doubt that’s the case.”

She turned the Radar System to Sylvia, so the other woman could see the screen. “Tell me, why is it that you’re not being picked up on this thing?”

Sylvia smiled. “Ah, yes, that detects humans. And I am most certainly not one of those. I'm chock-full of electrical interference, so you won't pick me up on there.”

Just as I thought, Dawn smirked. “Sylvia… you’ve been behaving very strangely this game, you know. I’d almost say it’s suspicious. All of us are running around, trying to find boxes and cards, and you’ve just been sitting here. Why is that? Considering the kind of person you are, I figured you’d be popping around when we’re at our lowest, totally lost, or incredibly far behind. And I've been all those things more than once. I thought you'd be using those powers of yours to taunt us at every turn. And yet the only time you've spoken to anybody, it's through a screen, even though you could teleport with a thought. That’s very odd, wouldn’t you agree?”

“Maybe I’m just a better person than you give me credit for,” Sylvia purred.

“Maybe,” Dawn nodded. Yeah, right. “Or maybe… you haven’t taken one step out of that chair since this game began because you’re hiding something. Would that be a fair assumption?”

Sylvia leaned a little further forward. Her eyes glowed with anticipation. “Tell me exactly what you’re trying to say, my girl.”

Dawn smirked. “What I’m trying to say? Here’s what I am saying, Sylvia. I’m saying that the Joker is, in fact, a card in this game. But rather than hide it somewhere on the island, you’ve hid it here, on that seat. Where no one would think to look. But if you were to move, someone might find it, so you’ve been waiting patiently here to see if anyone would figure it out.”

She crossed her arms defiantly. “Now, am I right? …Don’t bother answering. I know I am!”

Sylvia’s eyes sparkled with glee. “Correct! Absolutely correct!” She said, rising from her seat. A single black box rested behind where she’d been sitting. She picked it up and flung it at Dawn.

Dawn caught the box out of the air and it crumbled away. Inside was the Joker, just as she’d imagined.

“You’re just… giving it to me?” Dawn asked, surprised.

“I have no intention of interfering with the rules of the game,” Sylvia smirked, sitting back down on her throne. “The Joker is indeed a part of it. The game ends when the 52 cards are picked up, but the hidden rule states that if one can find the Joker, it's theirs. You deduced the hiding place, and quite thoroughly as well. No, that card is yours.”

“…So what do I get?” Dawn demanded.

Sylvia’s eyes widened innocently. “Get? Why do you believe you would ‘get’ something?”

Her face turned red. “B-Because! You hid the Joker! I found it! That was it, right? Th-The trump card! It must be worth, like, a hundred points or something, right?!”

Sylvia looked aghast. “A hundred points? In this economy? My word, such a greedy little girl.”

“Then how much is it worth?!” She demanded. “Fifty points? T-Ten points?! Tell me!”

Sylvia smirked, and held up her hand. Her thumb and fingers curled together to make an “O” shape.

“This many.”

Dawn turned pale, and the pain in her ankle became too much to withstand. She fell to her knees in the sand. “That’s… but that’s not FAIR!”

Sylvia clicked her tongue and shook her head. “My girl, you simply do not understand. Do you know what the function of the Joker is in a normal card game? Because it doesn’t have a numerical value, I’ll tell you that.”

Dawn wiped her eyes and shook her head. “I don’t gamble.”

“Well, gambling’s got nothing to do with it. No, the Joker is a wild card. A card that can be substituted for another card. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

Dawn stared down at the smiling jester on the card. “So… what, it replaces one of the other cards? I can form a set with just three, then?” Talk about not being worth it.

Sylvia snorted. “Please. What would be the point in looking for it then? No, my girl, the way the Joker works is quite simple. It, all by itself, counts as a set, and is removed from the game. Then, for your reward, you may substitute it for another set.”

Dawn’s eyes widened as the Joker disappeared in a burst of light.

“A… substitute?”

“That’s right,” Sylvia nodded. “You won’t get any points for having it. But as the wild card, you may have the Joker’s reward be any reward from one of the other sets… well, almost any. Due to technical guidelines, we must restrict you from choosing any set in a royal flush. So no Ten, no Jack, no Queen, no King, and of course, no Ace. Can’t have too many of those running around. But now you get your pick of the rewards! From the Twos to the Nines, any reward you like!”

Dawn rose to her feet, reinvigorated. “…Any reward?” She asked for clarification.

Sylvia nodded eagerly. “Why of course. Any reward. Take your pick. Consider it compensation for the 2000 BP you spent to purchase that dream. That's the only reason you could find it, after all.”

She tapped her cane against the stage, and a screen of options appeared in front of Dawn.

• Double or Nothing: The Contestant may flip a coin. If heads, their current Victory Points will be doubled. If tails, they will lose all their current Victory Points.
• Lamp of Three Wishes: The Contestant gets a lamp that contains a Genie. The Genie will grant any three of the Contestant’s wishes. (Anything not accounted for within the Contestant’s wish may be approached at the discretion of the Genie.)
• Four-Leaf Clover: The Contestant obtains a Four-Leaf Clover that will grant them a boost to their luck. (A Contestant’s personal belief of what “good luck” entails may not necessarily be accounted for.)
• Five Golden Rings: The Contestant will receive Five Golden Rings. These rings will immediately be exchanged for 5 Victory Points.
• Six Times a Day: The Contestant receives a choker that obligates them to orgasm at least six times each day. (If the Contestant does not meet this quota by the end of the day, the choker will drive them into a state of lust compelling them to masturbate until this quote is fulfilled.)
• Jackpot: The Contestant will get the chance to relinquish one of her transformations. She will permanently lose one of her transformations, and in its place, receive one from a list of randomly-selected transformations. (The new transformation will be selected at the next transformation vote.)
• Magic Eight Ball: The Contestant will receive a Magic Eight Ball. Whenever they are not sure what to do, they will be compelled to ask the Magic Eight Ball. (The Magic Eight Ball’s advice must be abided by at all times, if possible.)
• The Whole Nine Yards: Choose another Contestant. Switch all your banked sets of cards with the all the banked set of cards of the chosen Contestant. (Point totals will change to match. And rewards obtained will remain with the individual who won them.)

Dawn couldn’t believe her eyes. She stared in shock at the wide assortment of choices that she could make. Indeed, the others had only scratched the surface with their rewards.

“This is…”

“You may choose whichever you like,” Sylvia purred. “A genie to grant your wishes? An immense boost to your luck, perhaps? I’m sure a clever girl like you would know how to work those to your advantage.”

Dawn smirked. “Sylvia, choices like those… are absolutely out of the question. A genie? You think I’m a fool? It’s far more likely that any wish I get will be turned against me. As for the Four-Leaf Clover, no, that’s also not an option. I have no idea what ‘good luck’ entails on this twisted show of yours.”

She stood tall with pride (well, mostly. She stood 5’1’’ with pride) and stared defiantly into Sylvia’s eyes. “I have a Three and a Four already. That’s enough to ensure those rewards won’t be used against me. I would never put my faith in something as vague as a wish, or luck, or some ‘Magic Eight Ball’. I’m going to continue believing in myself until the end. So there’s really only one choice to make.”

Sylvia nodded. “Yes, I suppose there is, if you want to win.”

“For my reward, I’m going to choose The Whole Nine Yards,” Dawn declared.

“I figured that would be the one you’d pick,” Sylvia chuckled.

“That choice lets me switch my sets with those of someone else,” Dawn continued. “But the only set I have is the Joker, and it’s worth nothing. So in other words, at this stage in the game, I pick one person here, and I’ll be taking away almost all their points. A rather sadistic trap, honestly. It’s almost enough to make me hesitate to use it…”

“Picking Gina, I’m guessing?”

Dawn nodded thoughtfully. “I could do that… I could… and if I do, Gina will absolutely be behind, while I get immunity.”

But is that the best choice?

Sylvia looked amused. “You’re putting a lot more thought into this than I expected.”

“Of course I am,” Dawn scowled. “With the Joker, I can reach a definitive conclusion to this game. That’s not nothing. I also have to factor in what will get me the greatest amount of points. With what’s been discovered so far, if I take a high enough set, then it doesn’t matter. I’ll have more points than Gina either way.”

And of course... I need to think about who I'm going to hurt. Dawn didn't like hurting people, even to win. Not if she could help it. But at this point, that ship had sailed.

She had to carefully consider everything if she was going to make a decision. And Sylvia was absolutely fine with that. She left Dawn to mull over her decision on the beach, and disappeared.

The elevator came to a stop in a room neither Rose nor Holly recognized.

“Where is this place?” Holly asked as they stared at the gothically decorated room.

“This is Sylvia’s room,” Dakota said. She cracked her neck from side to side, and then cracked her knuckles. “Let’s tear it apart for cards, shall we?”

They walked out of the elevator and into the entry hall. They were in an entrance hall, with three massive portraits hung up. The furthest one to the right depicted Sylvia, posing in triumph, cane in her hands. The one in the center featured a woman, judging from the red and black dress she wore, holding the same cane as Sylvia. But other than the dress she wore it was impossible to tell, because her face looked like it had been scratched out by black marks. The final portrait, the one furthest on the left, also depicted someone whose face had been blacked out. But this person was a man, wearing a dark suit, carrying the same exact cane.

Everyone who looked at the paintings felt a chill go through them.

“What are you doing here, my girls?”

Rose and Holly both jumped, but Dakota didn’t even flinch. She turned coolly back to Sylvia. The host was wearing a polite smile on her face, but the rage coming off of her could give Dakota a run for her money.

Dakota smirked. “We’re looking for cards, of course,” she replied.

Sylvia narrowed her eyes. “Not. Here.”

She tapped her cane on the ground, and the three girls were whisked out of the room. They tumbled through space and time, landing in lobby.

They weren’t alone, either.

“What the hell?!” Gina exclaimed. She stared in shock at the three people who had just blipped into existence. She and Nick were standing next to each other, and were fending off the slime girls using a luggage trolley.

“Get back!” Rose snapped. She wound up her fist and smashed through one of the slime girls with a single punch. “Damn! I love having super strength!”

Some of the slime girls broke off their target and began lurching towards Rose. She was fine with that. The problem was, she didn’t have anything she could use as a weapon.

Bare-knuckles it is then!

Rose being almost naked anyway meant she didn’t have to hold back. She smashed through more slimes with her fists, clearing a path to the hall.

“Let’s go!” Nick shouted to the girls, heading for the gap that she’d opened. Holly was quick to pursue, but Gina stumbled and fell as a bit of slime melted through her boot, throwing off her balance.

“Fuck! Fucking thing!” Gina kicked at the slime girl clinging to her leg, but it was pointless. She just ate through her other boot and continued crawling up Gina’s legs, intent on stripping her completely and absorbing her. “I just fucking got these clothes back, too!”

“Gina!” Dakota raised her foot and stomped down on the slime’s core, bursting it to pieces. She added a lot more holes to Gina’s torn jeans, practically reducing them to shorts, but at least the other girl was free.

“Come on!” Dakota grabbed her arm and yanked her up, chasing after Holly and Nick down the hallway.

“You… you saved me,” Gina said, staring at Dakota in amazement. “You really do care!”

“N-No! No I don’t!” Dakota exclaimed. Her pale skin made the color on her cheeks stand out even more. “This is just... for strategy! You're a useful tool, I don't care about you at all!”

“Yes you do! You totally do!”

“Shut up! You don’t know anything you stupid… stupid! I’m gonna leave you behind for real this time!”

“No, no, no you woooooon’t!”

“Rrraaargh!”

“If you two are done flirting, we need to go!” Rose shouted, catching up to them. She’d fended off most of the slimes, but more were starting to regrow. She shoved the two women into the elevator and leapt in just as the doors closed, trapping the slimes on the other side.

They all took a moment to catch their breath.

“What about the others?” Holly asked Nick and Gina. “Did you see them?”

“I saw Kim head for the stairs,” Nick said. “I don’t know about anyone else.”

“It doesn’t help that we can’t see the screen from inside the hotel, either,” Dakota grumbled. “We have no idea who’s found what, or how many cards are still out there.”

The doors popped open, to everyone’s surprise. Half the elevator hadn’t even noticed they were moving.

“…Gina, did you take us to the bar?” Dakota asked, staring coldly at the other girl.

Gina gave her an awkward shrug in reply.

“Hey, but…” Rose checked her Radar System. It was beeping. “Seems like there’s something in here, anyway.”

They headed out into the bar and tore it apart for cards. Well, most of them did. Gina went straight for the liquor and tore that apart instead, much to everyone’s chagrin.

“Here it is,” Rose said, holding up the card. It had been tucked under the jukebox. “The Six of Clubs.”

They kept looking through the rooms, trying to find as many cards as possible. And they weren't the only ones.

“Oh, we’re here,” Dani noted as the elevator came to a stop. The three of them had checked out several rooms, but the only card they'd found so far was the Four of Hearts, which Carly had let Dani take to get as high a score as possible.

“Is this… a garden?” Mary asked as they stepped out of the elevator and saw the green of plantlife all around them. Unlike the botanical garden, this was quite clearly inside the hotel. There were walls and a roof, after all, and none were made of glass. The plants had been carefully cultivated as well, growing in pots and enclosures, whereas the botanical garden was wilder.

“Trophy Garden?” Carly read on the sign. “What do you think that means?”

Dani had no idea. She shrugged. “Well, let’s check here, and then we’ll hit up the gym afterwards, sound good?”

They took a few steps forward, and then their Radar Systems began beeping.

“There IS a card here!” Mary gasped.

“Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about!” Dani ran deeper into the garden, down the tile leading to the center. Then she saw something that froze her solid.

It was a statue of Carly made out of gold. She was crouching down with her back arched, her face twisted in orgasm. And of course she was buck naked.

“Not bad,” Carly whistled, admiring the craftsmanship. She glanced at the podium to see what it said.

CARLY GRANGER – SECOND TROPHY

There was another statue in the garden. It took a minute to figure out what it was, but upon closer inspection, it was clear that the naked woman on her back was Gina, back when she had straight hair.

REGINA DEAMICO – FIRST TROPHY

“Oh, I get it,” Dani said, making a disgusted face. But it couldn’t compare to Mary’s horrified expression.

“Such… lascivious artwork!” She wailed, shielding her eyes and running way from the statues.

Carly could help but smile. “Nick’s ‘trophies’, huh? As in, the women he-”

“YES, Carly, I think we get it,” Dani groaned. She was going to do whatever it took to make sure her likeness didn’t end up in this sick place someday.

They’d been so occupied with the statues, they’d forgotten to look for the card.

Except for Mary. **** to get as far away from this gross place as she could, Mary ran about looking for the box. She found it pretty quickly, resting on a sign that read “The Master’s Trophies” that stood at the front of the little display.

Fittingly, the Queen of Hearts was in that box.

“Queen of Hearts, huh?” Carly whistled. “Not bad, Mary, not bad.”

“This is… um…” Mary glanced cautiously at the other two. She wanted to trust them, but she couldn’t be sure. Dawn had mentioned before, about Dani stealing her card. If she tried that now…

“Calm down, calm down,” Dani assured her. “I’m not going to steal your cards, I promise. I learned my lesson about that the last time.”

Mary sighed in relief.

“So let’s check out the gym next?” Carly suggested. They headed back to the elevator. Mary tried very hard to ignore what she’d seen in the garden, but she couldn’t help wondering what her own statue would look like, when it someday stood there.

So Mary got another Queen, huh? And Gina got another Eight... damn.

Dawn was running out of time. She needed to make a decision, fast. She had no idea how many cards would be grabbed by the other girls, or what order. Or who would steal what. The Queens and Jacks were still in play, so the scores could fluctuate like crazy. But she couldn’t factor that into her calculations. She had to use the sets she had at hand NOW to make her decision.

And it was a hell of a decision.

“Oh, you’re still here?” Sylvia said, popping back.

“I am. Where did YOU go?” Dawn asked.

“Oh, just did a bit of pest control,” Sylvia chuckled. “Now then, I believe you were deciding on who you were going to screw over?”

Dawn sighed. There was only one person she could think of. “I think… I’m going to pick Holly.”

Sylvia blinked. That wasn’t the choice she’d been expecting. “Oh, really? I suppose it makes sense. She’s got the set of Kings. You’ll almost certainly have the high score if you pick her. It’s the winning play. Just as I'd expect from our little 'Competitive Cathy'!”

“That’s not why I’m doing this,” Dawn clarified. “Yeah, choosing the highest number means I win, and I can’t deny wanting to win. But I chose Holly because Holly is the best choice, looking at all the available factors. Kim or Mary will almost certainly pick each other. Same with Dani and Carly. Those pairs are set. Which means that the deciding factor for the other groups is who I pick now. If I choose Gina, then I get immunity for sure. Holly will probably get immunity herself, if Rose gives her all her cards. And in return she’ll probably pick Rose, meaning I would probably choose Dakota or Gina… and whichever one I pick, that’s the same as choosing the other person to be eliminated.”

“That’s right,” Sylvia said thoughtfully. “In essence, your choice here will determine who you want to lose the game. That’s a lot of weight to put on your shoulders.”

“I can’t stand Gina… but I don’t want her to suffer, either,” Dawn said, staring at the sand. “What she said earlier… about picking her own destiny… I can’t condemn her to being eliminated, and having that taken from her. I’ll have to choose her again… which is like saying I want Dakota to be eliminated, isn’t it?”

She shook her head. “I don’t want to pick either of them. That’s why I’m picking Holly. If Holly loses, then Dakota will get immunity, since she has Holly’s Nines. So Dakota will almost-certainly pick Gina since Holly and Rose stole from her. Then if I pick Rose, that just leaves Holly… but Holly wants to be eliminated. For whatever reason, she wants to be Nick’s sex ****. This way… everyone gets what they want.”

“Sound logic, as I’d expect from you,” Sylvia nodded. “And you’re even showing consideration for the feelings of the other girls! Where’s this Dawn been all season?”

Dawn blushed and averted her eyes. “My mom said… I have difficulty showing kindness to other people. And she’s right. This is… the best I can do right now.”

Sylvia nodded. “It all makes sense. …Oh, but there’s one thing I forgot to mention. You realize that you will be making the final choice, right?”

Dawn blinked. “Huh?”

“The final choice. For who you want as your buddy. The person with the highest score goes last, didn’t you know that?” Sylvia smirked. “It’s not fair that the winner of a competition gets their pick of the buddies. So you’ll be picking by ascending order, from lowest score to highest.”

“…So what?” Dawn asked, raising her eyebrow. She didn’t see a problem with that.

Sylvia’s smile widened.

“So… it may not go exactly as you planned.”

Dawn narrowed her eyes. “What do you mean?”

“In a logical world, yes, your answer is the correct one, based on everything you know about everyone. But we don't live in a world of logic, my girl, we live in a world of people. And people do not always act the way you want them to.”

Dawn felt an itch on the back of her neck. She swallowed. “That's...”

“I’m sure you’re thinking right now ‘well, I’ll pick Rose, and if someone else ends up getting eliminated, well, it’s not my fault, because their buddy could have saved them but they didn’t. That's not on me’. I’d like to correct that misunderstanding. Yes, if all goes as planned, and it comes down to a choice between Holly and Rose for you, and you pick Rose, everything may work out the way you intend… but you never know. The unexpected could happen. Someone could choose Holly before you, and you may find yourself in a position where you have to pick between Rose and someone else who also doesn’t want to be eliminated. Have you prepared yourself for that possibility? Or perhaps you may change your mind between now and then, and pick Holly over Rose after all. Anything could happen, really.”

Dawn tensed. That… that’s… but I… didn’t I? She thought she’d accounted for everything, but there was still a chance she might have made a mistake. Perhaps this was riskier than she thought.

She shook her head. No. I have to believe in myself. I have to believe in my own judgment. And if it doesn’t go that way, well fine. I'll face the consequences of that.

“I choose Holly, switch my sets with hers,” Dawn declared.

“Excellent!” Sylvia said, smiling broadly as Dawn began to glow. “Well, if things don’t go as planned… at least you’ll have a whole week to contemplate the depth of your mistake!”

A light shot out from Dawn and arced towards the hotel.

“Huh?!” Holly had just stepped out of the elevator and into the outdoor market when she started to glow. Then a light slammed into her and nearly knocked her back into it.

“That was-!” Rose recognized the effects from the set of Nines. She turned to Dakota. “What did you do?!”

“It wasn’t me,” Dakota said, raising her hands.

“Look!” Nick pointed up through the glass ceiling at the scoreboard, indicating what had happened. Rose’s jaw dropped as she saw the Joker card in Holly’s completed set list… and her current point total. Zero.

“No way! What the hell just happened!?” She exclaimed.

“It was Dawn,” Gina said, pointing at her buddy’s numbers. They just shot up to the top. “She got ahead of us.”

She didn’t seem all that upset to learn that her buddy had essentially just cinched immunity.

“Here! Holly, take my cards!” Rose started to panic, ripping the cards from her belt and shoving them into Holly’s hands. “Come on! There’s still time!”

Holly accepted the cards, but her smile was filled with resignation. “It’s fine, Rose. Trust me. It’s fine.”

“No!” Rose shouted, shaking her head frantically. Her eyes started to water. “It’s not fine! Come on, we can still do this! We can still find more cards! According to the scanner, there's a box out here somewhere! And there’s still a Queen and a Jack out there, we can’t give up now!”

But Holly shook her head. She didn’t want to keep struggling.

“We got that set through a trick anyway,” she sighed. “It’s only fair if we lose them the same way.”

She turned to Nick.

“It looks like… one of us may be eliminated, master.”

“Holly…” Nick’s voice cracked. He didn't even try to correct her.

“I hope it’s me. I hope I get the chance to serve you,” Holly said, lowering her head in a bow. Rose hugged her friend and cried.

“This is sad and all, and I get that,” Dakota said, glancing out over the wide streets of the market. “But you realize… those slime girls are here, right?”

Everyone turned to see a sea of white headed their way.

“Yes! Awesome! This is perfect!” Dani held up the Jack of Hearts triumphantly. The final Jack had been in the gym. The cards began to glow as she completed the set. Carly grinned, applauding her.

“Alright, way to go!” She cheered.

Dani opened the box, and looked at what was inside. It was about what she expected to see.

Up to Eleven: [Information Redacted] (NOTE: All information concerning this reward will be revealed at the next transformation vote.)

“A transformation, huh?” Dani sighed. “Well, I suppose I have that to look forward to.”

“Let’s keep going,” Carly said. “There aren’t any boxes here, and we should try and find as many as we can. Where else haven’t we looked yet?”

“Kim told me about an amusement park,” Mary suggested. “Maybe we should check there?”

The other girls glanced at each other and shrugged.

“Works for me,” Dani nodded.

“Should be ‘amusing’ at least,” Carly said, laughing at her own joke. The other two stared at her and shook their heads.

They walked into the elevator, but before they could even get a good look at it, Kim burst through the doors. Her clothes were melting off her.

“Back! Back! Close it!” Kim shouted, frantically jamming the button.

“…So no-go on the amusement park, then?” Carl asked, raising her eyebrow.

“I checked it…” Kim panted, clinging to the railing as she caught her breath. Mary politely averted her eyes as the rest of Kim’s outfit finished melting leaving her in just her blue striped underwear and her belt. “Found a bunch of cards… including these.”

She held up her belt, revealing two Threes and two Queens, and the Four of Clubs.

“The last Queen?” Dani gasped. “Nice! Way to go!”

Kim shook her head. “That’s when the slimes attacked me. But I saw the scoreboard… there’s only one card left. Um… I think it’s a Six? Whatever it is, we should get it.”

“What about those Queens though?” Carly asked. “Between the two of you, you’ve got a full set. Who wants the points?”

The girls glanced at each other. Kim held out the Queens to Mary, which surprised her. She thought that the other girl’s compulsion would make her want them for herself.

“Um, no, that’s fine,” she mumbled, shaking her head. “I don’t need the points! You complete the set!”

“Mary, I’m serious! I’ve won a ton of VP from my rewards,” Kim pleaded. “You should complete the set! You’ll get a bunch of points if you do! And that way, you won’t have to do perverted stuff with Nick to make up the difference! If you don't... with your current score... you might...”

Kim made a good point. Mary was pretty close to the bottom. With her current hand, and only the Aces, she was liable to lose points.

“I’ve already got two sets completed. And since I’ve got both these Threes, I guess that’s keeping me from losing my cool and trying to take those from you. So come on, Mary, just take ‘em already! You helped me out so much already, giving me a ton of cards, it's the least I can do!”

Mary swallowed and nodded, accepting Kim’s offer.

The Queens began to glow, spinning together and forming a box. It was only as the box finished forming that Mary realized her mistake.

“W-Wait!” She gasped. “This means… don’t I have to take a punishment transformation?!”

She hadn’t even been thinking of that.

“…Oops.” Everyone shared wary glances with each other. Today had been so exhausting they hadn’t considered the possibility.

Mary had been gracious enough to accept the offer, and now she was going to pay the price.

“W-Well, think about it like this!” Kim said. “Maybe it won’t be so bad, yeah? Who knows! It probably won’t be a transformation vote anyway!”

Mary sniffled hopefully. “…No?”

“No way!” Kim had absolutely nothing to base that on but random positivity. “Just have faith!”

Mentioning “faith” is what did it. Mary nodded and opened up her box. A single slip of paper sat inside.

Hung Jury: [Information Redacted] (NOTE: All information concerning this reward will be revealed at the next transformation vote.)

She turned pale as the elevator doors slid open. But she didn’t have time to contemplate her misfortune, because what awaited them in the outdoor market looked like the aftermath of a hurricane of semen.

“Holy hell…” Carly gasped, earning her a dirty look from Mary. “Those things are everywhere!”

“According to this, there’s a box somewhere out there,” Kim said, holding up her Radar System. “The last one! Come on, guys, we need to find it!”

“Leave it to me,” Dani said. She grabbed the metal map saying “You Are Here” and made sure no one would be able to find their way using the damn thing again by ripping it out of the ground. She charged forward, plowing through the slimes, and approached the others, who were all fighting them off as best they could with stuff they’d gotten from the shopping district.

“Why does this place sell weapons?!” Nick demanded, swinging a sword and cutting one of the slime girls in half. “What use could there POSSIBLY be for weapons on a show called Harem Hotel?!”

“I don’t think you want to know,” Dakota replied. She’d grabbed an umbrella and spun it around, piercing through one of the slimes and then opening it, spraying the white gunk everywhere while keeping herself safe.

“I found it!” Holly shouted, holding up the last box. As the smallest one there, she hadn’t even tried to fight, focusing on looking for the box instead while Rose shielded her with a staff.

The box flashed and revealed the final card, the Six of Spades. As the box crumbled away the white slime girls began to shake, trembling and bubbling as they reached for the girls. Then, as one, they all looked to Nick one final time, and collapsed into a sea of splooge that flooded the street.

Everyone sighed. They were exhausted. But no one considered sitting down even for a second.

“Well done, my girls! What admirable work!” Sylvia popped up, smiling cheerily without a care in the world. “You’ve done such a remarkable job of handling every obstacle thrown at you! And best of all, you even managed to find the rest of the cards! Yes, yes, very well done. Shall we take a look at the results, then?”