The glint of a camera lens

It was only for a moment but you thought you saw a bright reflected object in some distant bushes. Something small and round, almost like a camera lens...

You take another look but you can't make out anything although you swear the foliage is rustling almost imperceptibly.

"It's probably some creepy stalker," you think to yourself. Leah was after all an insta-famous model who had had her fair share of unwelcome attention. The unsavoury and sad side of living the life of a beautiful woman.

Sonja and the guys had joined your group and these thoughts cleared from your mind. These occurrences, whilst rare, were still common enough that you had to just ignore them for the most part otherwise you'd probably grow into some crazy paranoid person.

"So what do you think about the plans for the group trip?" Sonja asked. The four of you had been planning a European trip over the summer break and were planning to spend a few months traveling before grad school started. That was assuming you all passed your exams but with your marks, there was little doubt in your mind.

You nodded enthusiastically, "I love it girl. I've already started pulling together a Google doc with ideas of where to go and things to do."

In the background, you see Liam roll his eyes. "When did you become such a nerd Leah?" he teased.

You and Liam shared a hot and cold relationship which had been held back by your own personal guilt of stealing Leah's life. Whilst you'd gone all the way with him once, you'd written it off as a mistake and pulled back from pursuing a proper relationship.

"And when did your lack of planning ever get you anywhere? You're not far from failing so you better up your game before the finals!" you shot back testily. For some reason, you just weren't feeling that playful today.

He looked a little surprised and hurt by your curtness and mumbled "Yes mum..." and turned to speak with Mark.

"Geez when are you two gonna get together?" Sonja scooted over to you and nudged your arm, "I know you guys have a chemistry so what's holding it up? You've seen how he looks at you right?"

"Well..." your voice is forlorn as you stare wistfully into the distance. Even after years as Leah, there was something that still felt wrong about this life you currently inhabited. You could act like her, you had all her memories, you could sink into her personality and persona like it was your own. You'd even built a new life from the ashes of yours and Leah's already fantastic 'starting point'. But it still didn't right. It didn't feel like yours.

It was for this reason that you'd put off any meaningful relationships. Things that felt permanent. Things that would make this feel real. After all, a small part of you still held on hope of returning to your own life. That you could return this borrowed life to the girl you had stolen it from. From Leah who had just been unfortunate enough to have been your victim and who you had made an impulsive decision to silence forever. With the benefit of hindsight and Leah's mind, you knew now you had made a mistake and that she hadn't needed to pay the price for Jimmy's screw up all those years ago.

But realistically, it wasn't like you could suddenly reappear after all these years. Nor could Leah return to her own life now without some major psychological issues. It was a life that belonged solely to you now.

"You know what, you're right. I've been putting it off too long. I thought it would be a distraction but a girl has needs too."

"Glad to hear it!" Sonja smiles at you and pats your thigh gently. "Actually can we speak in private?" You nod and follow her to a secluded area.

"After what you just said, I don't think you were planning on using these again, but you really need to be more careful about where you hide these." Sonya handed you two very familiar looking pens and slipped them discretely into your pocket. "It didn't take me too long to find them you know?"

You look up at her in shock as she draws you in for a tight hug. "Not here 'Leah'," she whispers with an emphasis on your stolen name, "Let's talk back at the apartment later. I think you've got something to tell Liam right now yeah?" She winks at you and walks back to the group.