The clown is starting to get a funny feeling

Lola Pop was known for having a spontaneous fighting style, combining unpredictable attacks with unconventional defense. However, the truth was that she actually had all kinds of gameplans, which accounted for differences in opponents’ attack patterns, weight, speed, and a laundry list of other factors. A lot more went into her fights, before and during, than most people realized.

In this case, she needed to throw those mostly out the proverbial window. This wasn’t because her opponent was a complete unknown, although he was– it was because she knew there couldn’t be much to him if this was his first day. A spotless record in ARMS was unheard of, because it’s just not possible to know the nature of the game in your first match. Trajectories, angling– all kinds of factors went into being an effective fighter. There was just no way a rookie could have that sort of experience under his belt.

“For now, I’ll teach him the simple stuff. I’ll let him throw the punches while I dodge and defend. Then, when he’s not suspecting it, I’ll give him a sucker punch in the cheek. Get it? Sucker punch? He he he… heh,” she laughed to herself, slowly realizing that she’d just made a joke for only her benefit. There was no coach nor pit crew in her ear right now. Joking aside, the gameplan was simple enough. She’d never seen “Beginner’s Luck” in action, but how bad could it be, right? It sounded like a training glove used by rookies, or something of that nature.

For his part, Randy was already sweating. It was clear he didn’t like his odds, throwing the first punch in a fight against a pro. That was obviously just what she wanted! Still, when she spent a while ducking and weaving around without doing anything but grinning at him, it was clear he didn’t have a choice.

Even Lola had to wince at how bad his opening move was. Raw Randy squeezed his eyes shut and screamed, swinging one fist wildly in a sweeping motion: the old “the more area I cover, the better chance I have to hit” technique that basically disregarded factors like point of impact and leading the opponent. Lola had seen it a hundred times before and she figured she’d be happy to instruct the guy why not to do this once their match was over. The clown fighter corrected her face back to a silly grin, then leaped into the air, drawing both legs up under her. It was a move that would ordinarily look fun and acrobatic, with her usual over-sized pants, but now, devoid of pants, served to show off her thighs and glutes all the more. The important part: it worked!

Lola landed, throwing her arms into the air victoriously. “Honk honk honk! Ha ha!” she gloated, putting on a big grin for the crowd. The audience wasn’t cheering along like she was expecting– it sounded like her opponent was getting the encouragement. “Honk honk huh? Hey, you’re gonna teach the kid bad habits!”

“Bad habits? Look! I scored a hit, right?” Randy questioned, pointing down at his leg.

The confused clown raised an eyebrow, making a cartoonish look of bewilderment. “Bwuh huh?” she questioned, then looked down at the same spot on her own body. It couldn’t be… somehow, that completely wild attack, aimed at no one or nothing in particular, had cut one of the garter ribbons connected from the fluffy upper part of her left stocking to some unmentionable attire underneath her babydoll. The ribbon flapped loose, allowing the fur lining to sag just a bit. “You… You did!”

“Well, I mean, I guess I mostly missed. I just cut your outfit a little with the knuckles,” her opponent admitted.

“Y-Yeah, well… still! Good job, I guess! If there’s anyone who appreciates an unpredictable hit, it’s yours truly, heh heh!” she giggled, pressing her fists to her hips and sticking her chest out proudly. She wanted to be genuinely complementary, but she couldn’t shake the not-so-funny feeling. There was no way that attack hit, right? Maybe the shoddy costume was just falling apart on its own? She couldn’t possibly be hit by the very first punch thrown by a rookie in his first fight ever, right?

“Stay on her, kid!” the gray-gloved man she’d spoken to earlier shouted, clutching onto the cage as he shouted.

“H-Hey! You’re my promoter, aren’t you?” Lola questioned, looking over her shoulder.

“Yeah, sweetcheeks, and for the sake of your career, I need him to get a lot more aggressive!”

She still didn’t quite understand where he was going with all of this. “Okaaaay… Well, those gloves are appropriately named, I’ll say that much! Buona fortuna, Randy, cause that’s the only hit you’re gonna score on me! That’s the last oopsie I’m gonna make tonight!” she laughed with a joking tone, sticking out her bottom to taunt him further. When his face went red, she remembered what she was wearing: the bottoms of her butt-cheeks were pretty well visible in that pose. “Oh, uh… Oopsie.” She tugged it down on the back and stood up straight, becoming a little red-faced. “That was the last one.”

Roll 1!

Outfit durability: 27/28 (babydoll lingerie dress tied around with a bow at waist, stockings, garter belt torn on left side, hairband, rubber nose)