The bunk upstairs

“I’ll take the room upstairs, sir,” I said, puffing out my chest with as much dignified authority as my thin breeches allowed. “A paladin does not sleep in dark basements. Sharing quarters with a senior officer is standard military protocol.”

Innkeeper Farley grunted, tossing a small brass key onto the wooden counter. “Room three at the top of the stairs. Try not to wake him. He had four pitchers of ale and hit on every woman in this pub... and a few men, before we managed to send him off to bed.”

I grabbed the key, gave a sharp nod, and marched up the creaky wooden staircase. I mentally prepared myself for a quiet, respectable evening of military strategy and rest. I would simply slip into the room, take the edge of the bed, and maintain proper distance. No biggie.

I unlocked the door to Room Three and pushed it open, whispering:

“Captain Bain, are you awa...”

The words died in my throat.

Captain Bain was standing right in the middle of the cramped room, broad back turned to the door, having just stripped off his final piece of armor and undergarments. He was completely, unreservedly naked.

He was a giant of a man - broad shoulders and massive, muscular thighs that looked capable of snapping a pine tree in half. The sudden draft from the open door made him freeze, and he spun around with a startled roar, his huge, heavy manhood swinging freely between his legs in full view.

“What in the Light...!” Bain barked, his face turning as red as a fresh apple as his hand instinctively shot out toward his broadsword resting against the wall.
“I-I’m sorry, sir!” I squeaked, my eyes widening as I instinctively backed into the doorframe. “Farley sent me up! I didn’t mean to... I mean, protocol..!”

Bain blinked, recognizing my basic cadet trousers, and slowly let out a heavy, booming laugh that rattled the floorboards.

“Calm down, recruit!” Bain chuckled, shaking his head and wiping a hand across his chest. He made no effort to cover himself, casually walking over to the narrow wooden cot in the corner. “Nearly took your head off! Well, don’t just stand there gaping at your commanding officer with your mouth open. Lock the door and get in. It’s a tight bed, so we’re going to have to pack in close if you want any sleep tonight.”

I swallowed hard, looking from his broad, hairy frame to the single, terrifyingly small mattress, realizing too late that perhaps the basement wouldn’t have been such a bad choice!