The best decision possible

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Chapter 19

I wake up blinking and immediately feel the effects of the night. At least I don't need to set an alarm clock, as I only manage to sleep for a few hours at a time anyway. Tired and irritated, I stare at the ceiling, but then my irritated mood disappears.

Rose has grabbed my arm and is now snuggling up to it with her whole body while her lips are close to my shoulder and I can feel her breath on my skin.

"Hey," I whisper. "Rose. Hey." I move my arm a little and she starts to stir. I wait another minute, then she slowly wakes up. The first thing she sees this morning is my face.

"Morning," she whispers and rubs her eyes. Then she sits up, supports herself with her hands on the floor and turns to me in her wide white sweater. "How did you sleep?" I grunt my answer and sit up too. The cracking of my bones is clearly audible and Rose grimaces.

"Our beds should arrive today," I murmur and stretch my arms.

"I can hardly wait."

"Really? Don't you want to sleep next to me anymore?" I grin. "I thought you would like that?"

"Fuck you," Rose groans, grinning, and sits up. Then she is a little startled when she realizes how she has been talking to me. She looks at me somewhat startlet. "What?" she asks finally, unable to read my expression.

"Me? What about you? You know what? Come here!" I throw myself on my sister's tired body and act as if I want to eat her. First Rose screams my name angrily, but then she can't help it and starts giggling while I pull up her white shirt, press my lips to her tender stomach and bite lightly.

"No! Stop that! Little pervert fuck!” Rose has never lied like that before and her blows to my back are not only muffled by her shirt. But her laughter spurs me on, just like her wild movements as life comes into her tired body. “No! Finn! No!” my lips work their way over her shirt and before I even realize what I'm doing I've already pulled hit up further.

She's not wearing a bra. Why should she?

And I can't resist. Why should I?

Her laughter becomes more and more hysterical, almost a little panicked, but then a husky moan mixes with her voice and her back arches while her butt flattens on the hard floor, just like her shoulders. Her hair falls over her face and her breathing becomes fast and shallow as more and more moans mix with her laughter.

“Finn whahahat are you dohahahaing…?” She pants heavily as her hands slide roughly through my hair. Then I reach her ribcage and work my way up. This time Rose clearly and audibly moans under mi kisses and bites. "Finn what... No you can't..." But she holds me in place with her hands and moans loudly while squeezing her legs together, rubbing together, while I kiss her near her perky little breasts. "NO!"

And this time I let go as her arms shoot forward and move over her breasts. She almost catches me in the face and then she quickly sits up.

"Sorry sis," I say apologetically and mean it.

"No, it's... my fault I'm... I'm sorry..." But she doesn't look sorry, just embarrassed. "I'm... ticklish..."

"What? For real?"

"Fuck you for real!" she snaps and makes me laugh "Yes!" This is all only half as serious as it sounds. We don't even mention that we had sex. "I'm ticklish!"

"Where?" I ask and hold out my hand. “There?” I almost touch her breasts, over which her shirt is still rolled up.

“Yes! Let go!” But she giggles again as I pull my hands back.

“Okay, okay,” I pout and cross my arms while Rose pulls her shirt down.

“What?” she asks, but I continue to pout.

“You know that.” Rose tilts her head, looks at me in disbelief.

“I’m your sister Finn…” I say nothing. “Oh fuck it you… fucking… I don’t know…” And then she lifts her shirt up again, stretches her body and presents me with her hand-sized breasts while tilting her head to the side so to hide her growing smile.

“Fucking hell…” I murmur. “Rose, they are…”

“What?” While she shows me her wide areolas, along with her small nipples and soft flesh, she looks at me almost expectantly while a healthy blush spreads across her cheeks. “What?”

“Come here…” I can’t help it, but Rose pulls away from me and looks at me apologetically.

"Finn..."

"I know," I breathe out and try to calm down. "Brother and sister." But Rose looks at me wide-eyed while her naked breasts scream for me as my whole body screams for them.

"We need to think about the future," Rose says quietly without taking her hands off the soft fabric of her shirt and continuing to present her titties to me. "We can't just... you and I..."

"And what if we could?" I ask and realize that I've been carrying this question around with me since before the MCD. "What if we could be together?" God, I've never seen anything as erotic as Rose's chin shyly disappearing under the wide edge of her shirt. And that's my shirt! My shirt that she stole from me... That I let her steal from me. Because I knew she would be cold at night. "Rose I l... like you, okay? Like really really... like you.”

The room is silent for a long time and I look into her eyes, ignoring her breasts, while she summons the courage to raise her head and show me her face.

“I like you too,” she finally says. That’s all. No explanation of how long or under what circumstances. And that’s okay with me. She had to survive, just like me, and I know that she needs to hear something very specific now.

“I forgive you, Rose,” I say gently. “Our past.” No visible reaction, but…

Rose Lynchwood. +12 (PS -13)

She’s really good at hiding her true feelings. So I know that there’s something else there.

“Thank you,” my sister finally says. And then she lowers her shirt while the sight burns into my brain in a godly firestorm. “But you also have a future outside of me, do you understand?”

“No.” She smiles. So lovely.

“Bella.”

“Oh. Rose... Bella is sweet and nice and kind... but..."

"You should ask her for a date!" it bursts out of my sister.

Rose Lynchwood. +2 (PS -11)

She really wants to help me...

"I should?" But now she looks at me angrily.

"Yes, you moron! She gave you her phone number! What else does a woman have to do?" I raise my hands defensively.

"Yes. You're right." I stand up, straighten my shirt and see Rose looking at me with a look that says I should kiss her. "I'm going to take a shower now before Tammy throws a flash grenade into the room to wake us up."

"Or a real one," Rose smiles weakly and follows me with her eyes. But at the door, I turn to her.

"Thank you for sticking with me like that, Rose," I confess. "This is the greatest gift of my life. I'm going to ask Bella out on a date, okay?" She says nothing. Why should she? "But no matter what she says... no matter what happens... my feelings for you will never change, Rose. They never have and they never will."

"I know, bro." And that's all I need to say. Don't need to say more. Why should I?

We both know we're in love with each other.

In contrast to the confession of brother and sister and their mutual feelings, college shouldn't be a challenge.

Still, it hurts me to have to wave to Lisa and Ryan again, from afar, while I suspect there's no way to keep them out of the MCD. At first, I had hoped to just wait it out, but knowing what a powerful **** this inconspicuous high-tech device in my pocket has, I realized that I can't run away from danger forever. Especially since I have more and more the feeling... that I'm in the right place. Fuck, it feels good to shape my family like this. At some point, Mom will surely be unable to do her job, as she is becoming more and more like my puppy. And if Jasmine really does become a kind of housewife, maybe that will apply to her too. The two of them are the breadwinners of the house and we are on the way to ending up in the gutter.

I have to accept it. I have to live with the consequences of my decisions. The activation of the MCD. I am responsible for the people whose lives I change with this incredible device. Mostly for the better, as I see it. Maybe even always. And fuck, I have to do something to get money. More, much more money than I can afford in my lousy volleyball job.

Speaking of which…

'Hey Finn. This is Rania from volleyball. I just wanted to ask how you are and whether we will see each other again at the next training session? If it's true that you can play so well, I would like to get a few tips from you if that's okay with you. Or a simple little game? Just the two of us? Thank you. Rania.'

I don't even need the kissy smiley or the selfie to grin. At best, the girls in my club are distant, at worst, they're pain-inflicting cunts like Candice. All of them come from rich families, so maybe Rania is the jewel in the rubble? A nice person in a world that doesn't require niceness? I know I will get her on the MCD as well when I keep working there. But I must do it. Money and all that... And a little bit of ****. But not for Rania! But I need to think of my family as well. Be it as it is, I need to make a decision that isn't the best one, but the best under the circumstances.

"Finn?" I turn around.

Oh FUCK!

But it's already too late. The nice message from Rania is still on the display, the MCD vibrates in my hand.

Lisa Moreau is my best friend and it hurts me a lot to see her so confused and depressed. Alone and abandoned, she stands right in front of me, looking at me urgently, but doesn't know what to say.

"Hey Lisa..." To call her shy isn't enough for Lisa and actually, I and Ryan are the only ones who can coax a smile or a joke or a quiet laugh out of her. She must have suffered even more from my absence and my heart aches when I see the tormented expression on her face. She is all the more surprised when I pull her small body close to me and give her a long, warm hug in all friendship.

I've been doing so well recently and only when I feel her slightly trembling fingers on my back do I understand how much suffering and pain my happiness has cost.

Never again, I swear to myself.

"I'm so sorry." And of course it's her who apologizes. Lisa has a good heart and the MCD weighs heavily in my pocket as we hug in the schoolyard. "I didn't know what to do anymore," she whispers into the hug. "You didn't say anything and you were suddenly so absent... I thought it was my fault but Ryan said... I wanted to leave you alone like him but..."

"It's okay Lisa," I say and want to end the hug but the small, shy girl ignores her surely screaming social anxiety radar and holds me tightly. "I had a crazy time and didn't want to burden you with it."

"Your family?" Her voice is muffled in my armpit. I hope I don't stink. But Lisa bypasses her shy side to be with me.

"Yes. But not in the way you thought. Please let me look at you." That's enough for her to pull away from me. Her face is all warm and her eyes look at me uncertainly. "I had an incredibly good time," I confess and she smiley at me weakly. "Rose and I we... We understand us and..." I shrug my shoulders. "I'm just asserting myself against my family."

"Wow..." Lisa exhales quietly. "All alone?"

"Actually, Rose is helping me! She's a real bro. But the rest of my family..." I decide to tell the truth. From a certain point of view at least. "I didn't want to drag you into this."

"Oh... I... I understand..." Lisa mumbles and turns around awkwardly, but fails and turns back to me. "Then maybe I should... If you don't want me..." Then my hand lands on her shoulder, gently and carefully. Lisa is shy and **** but it's easy for me not to hurt her. Most of the time. Here and now... After the split...

It doesn't help. It's not the MCD. But I just can't see my best friend suffer like this. And the fact that she does it is proof enough that she's a good person. I'll find a way to protect Lisa from any changes... as best as I can. I doubt the MCD will listen to my orders, but as long as I'm in control... And even if she ends up happy, like my family, like Rose... I still have Bella on the list, but first I'm going to take care of the bitches in my club. Now?

First of all, I hug Lisa again.

"Just forget it, okay?" I ask. "I can't be without you any longer. And I don't want you to be sad and me to be happy. Then it'll all be useless."

"I wanted to help you so much," she murmurs. I nudge her lightly, very lightly and tenderly, on the shoulder. Actually, I just put my fist on her shirt.

"Thank you. You're a good friend. Thank you. And hey! I know how you can help me." She looks at me questioningly. "Can you help me in biology today? I just can't handle it."

And there it is, my reward. A light, delicate, cute laugh from Lisa. More valuable than gems because only I can make it.

"Okay," she says and turns to leave, but turns back again.

"I promise I'll be right there," I say encouragingly. She nods, trusts me, and goes into the building for class. Maybe she'll tell Ryan the good news.

Meanwhile, I hold up the MCD.

"Well... here it comes..."

There's Lisa Moreau's profile.

Below Bella's.

Yes, I have other profiles to choose from. The volleyball team.

But what comes after that? More girls? And after that?

After that comes Lisa at some point. And Bella.

I don't know if there's a way to delete profiles from the MCD. I don't know what happens if I don't activate them. Bella has been on the list for a while, longer than the cunts from volleyball. The MCD is still in beta and...

But those are unimportant details.

Lisa is important. And Bella.

More important than me.

So what do I do?

Alone and abandoned, I stand in the schoolyard, I have to hurry if I want to get to class on time.

But I can't put off this decision any longer. I want to meet Bella. I don't want to leave Lisa alone.

And fuck yes, I know that doing nothing would be the right decision. But I don't know the consequences. And I can't find a solution to my problems like that.

So far, the MCD has worked well. I agreed with all the paths and even when I wasn't sure which path I should choose for Rose, it turned out well in the end. A divine decision perhaps. But I can't always rely on it and maybe the gods want me to activate Bella and Lisa?

No. I have to do something. I can't run away if there's a chance that I'll do something good for them both. One thing is certain, Lisa wouldn't survive if I left her again now. And Bella is too big a chance for two people's happiness to disappoint her.

And Rose will kill me.

The thing is that there is no such thing as a perfect decision in live. I have decided to activate the MCD and live with the consequences. Do I think it is the right decision to activate Bella or Lisa? No. Is it the best decision I can make?

Unfortunately, I have to say yes.

And I don't know how I will feel about it.

But when I think about how Lisa is doing without me... And Bella, who is obviously hoping for a friendship... or more...

It is the best decision I can make here and now. The least amount of suffering for everyone. And I'm not thinking about myself.

I just have to decide...

I have the MCD. And with the help of the gods, or whoever, I will decide.

Everything will be fine, Finn.

So...

Lisa... or Bella...

Message from the author: Oh holy shit, that was shaky! This chapter describes perfectly why I often find it easier to write an evil character. He doesn't have to deal with the question of whether it is morally right to activate Lisa and Bella. At first, I wanted to blame it on the beta status of the MCD, but that would have hurt you as a reader. I'd rather be in the firing line and **** you to make a decision. In the end, I, the author (still not as good as Tom Clancy!), am also responsible for you having a good experience. So don't panic. (That goes for me too!) And have fun voting.

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