The beginning

I'm about to tell you my story. I have to warn you that I do not come out of this looking particularly good. I've made many mistakes, and hurt people I care about. I ask you however to please remember that we all make mistakes, and although mine might look especially egregious, this has been a journey of self-discovery for me. I've learned things about myself I could hardly have dreamed of just a year ago. I've learned to accept myself for who I am, the good, the bad and the ugly. I hope you can too.

Let's start at the beginning. I'm Emily. That's me, the brown haired girl curled up on that couch with the cute boy. That's my boyfriend, Jamie, the sweetest most caring man you could ever meet. I don't deserve him, really. Once you hear my story you might agree with me.

We were watching a movie together in my dorm room. My roommate was out for the night, so we had the place for ourselves. The dorms on campus are single-sex, but the rules are rather lax. You are allowed to have guests until 10 pm, and even those rules are rather lightly enforced.

The movie turned out to be rather campy, but we mostly just enjoying cuddling together. As the credits started rolling over the screen the door to my room opened and my roommate Jessica entered. Her blond hair was tied up in a loose ponytail, flowing down her back. She was wearing a pink woolen jacket, a size too big to cover the shape of her rather large breasts.

She had a very conservative upbringing, that has been continuously been challenged by her experiences at a metropolitan campus. I know she has opened her mind a lot in the last year, but she can still come off as a bit prudish to those who don't know her. As she spied us on the sofa she raised her eyebrows and tapped her wristwatch.

"Guests out in 10 minutes, Em."

See what I mean?

"He'll be out in time, don't worry," I said as I got up from the sofa. "How was your night?"

"It was fine, mostly just girl talk and wine." She looked at me with a wry smile. "Fun fact, I now have more friends who are engaged or married than not." Having taken off her jacket she sat down on her bed.

I was about to respond when I noticed Jamie texting someone on his phone.

"Something important?" I asked, "time's running out."

"Nah, just Tyler who keeps bugging me," he said looking up at me. "He's complaining that we're always cooped up by ourselves every night. There's a house party this Friday night, he really wants us to come."

Tyler was Jamie's roommate, cool enough guy, but a bit more social than Jamie and me tended to be. The though of a loud, smelly party full of drunk frat guys wasn't exactly my idea of a good time. Jamie saw the expression on my face and looked as me pleadingly.

"Can't we go just once? So I can get Tyler off my back. Who knows, it might even turn out to be fun?"

I sighed, compromise is part of a good relationship.

"Guess I'm going to a frat party," I told Jess as Jamie left.

"Hey, at least you're going with your boyfriend. Me and Todd are basically at opposite sides of the country. All we have are video calls."

I guessed she was right, I didn't envy Jess her long distance relationship. She and Todd were high school sweethearts, just like me and Jamie. While Jamie and me managed to end up in the same college, Jess was not so lucky.

I sat down on my own bed, on the opposite side of the room from Jess' and we ended up chatting long into the night about boyfriends, relationships and everything in between.