The battle's aftermath

One moment I was inwardly celebrating the loss of my virginity and the next I was fighting for my life. Sasha and I quickly put our gear back on and hurriedly ran out of the room we were just having sex in to check in on our friends. With our ODM gear on, we quickly made our way to where our friends are fighting the titans only to be shocked at the slaughter right in front of us. Thomas and Nack, my closest friends, were already gone but I steeled my resolve and scanned the area for Mina. I saw her trembling within the grasp of a large-eyed titan who was about to swallow her whole. Without any hesitation, I went into action and cut through the titan's nape killing it. I caught Mina, who was overwhelmed with shock, and carried her off with me as I regrouped with the others. The events that followed went on like a blur. Eren, the fool, turned out to be a titan and helped turn the tide against the titans by covering up the breach with a giant boulder. With the Scout Regiment and the Garrison Regiment joining forces, Trost ended with a victory for humanity. It should've been a joyous occasion if not for our losses.

The next few days was spent digging through the wreckage for survivors or, most likely, casualties. Any hope I had for Franz to survive was shattered when I saw his lover, Hanna, crying unconsolably as she was being escorted away by nurses. She was not alone, however, as a number of men and women were marked as unfit for duty because of the trauma they lived through broke them mentally. They would be sent back to their families, or to asylums if they don't have anyone, as broken shells of what they once were. I considered them to be the lucky ones because, at least, their fight is over while the rest of us are still expected to fight.

A funeral pyre was held to mourn for the those who valiantly died performing their duties and to efficiently dispose of their corpses. I met up with Mina before making my way there so we can come together. Just like myself, she is wearing our Cadet Corps uniform, but it no longer represented the hope we had for the future. It is now a symbol of our fallen comrades and our inexperience against the harsh reality of our world. She gave me a tired smile when we made eye contact and we started walking side-by-side in awkward silence.

"Ralfe?" she said breaking the silence.

"Yes," I replied.

"Have you visited Sasha in the infirmary?"

"No," I answered while trying my best to not look at her direction. A feeling of guilt still plagued my mind after what I did with Sasha the morning after I confessed my love for Mina despite all the things that happened. A more superstitious person would have blamed the tragic events that followed my infidelity, but I'm not that kind of person. In any case, I know Sasha was sent to the infirmary after the battle, but I couldn't bring myself to meet her. "Was she doing fine?"

"No, I was told by the doctor that she was going to be sent back to her home in Dauper soon when I visited her this morning," she said sadly.

"That's... unfortunate." I didn't know what else to say. What Mina said could only mean one thing, Sasha was marked unfit for duty due to being mentally broken. But, when the battle was won, she seemed fine last I saw her. The guilt I was feeling felt even heavier as the guilt of not visiting Sasha weighed in on top of it. I thought of the different things I could've done to help her for the last few days but, as my mind went through multiple scenarios, I was pulled back to reality when Mina tugged on my shirt from behind.

"Do you love Sasha?" she asked solemnly.

"Wha- why would you ask that?" I replied in a panic.

"Sasha wouldn't speak to anyone but she spoke to me when I visited," Mina said with an unusual calm. "She apologized for having sex with you behind my back despite knowing about us."

"Mina, I can explain!"

She shook her head dismissively. "You don't have to, Ralfe. I know why you did it with her. She's taller, more beautiful, and has a lot more personality than me. I just wish you didn't do it after telling me you love me." Tears began to fall from her eyes. "But, after all that's happened, I think I deserve something better!"

"Mina, let's talk about this," I said but she ignored me and ran ahead. I just stood there for a moment, shocked as the realization that the love of my life wants nothing to do with me hit me.