The bar you set for yourself

"Some people start out with art, or music, writing, or even archery. We start off unsure of what we want to do with it, what direction we wish to go. Even if we've been at it for a while, it still happens. We expect the world from ourselves, we have this way of expecting so much of ourselves.

Maybe you want validation. Maybe you want fame and recognition. Maybe you don't know what you want at all, but you still set this little... Bar in your head, at a point you want to reach. Close your eyes for a moment, envision your ultimate goal, or goals.

Look.

There it is.

This right here. This is your standards. This is your goal, your agenda, your destination. It goes as high or as low as you want it to. You know something?

I'm glad you're here, because I want you to ignore that bar for now. I know you want to prove something, maybe to yourself, maybe to others. This is your life. It's good to have guidance and direction, a place you want to find, or a certain feeling you've been waiting your whole life for.

That's not your bar though.

You don't have to prove anything to anyone no matter what they say or think about you, because I want you to think about you right now. This is why we set bars, they're beacons, because we grow. But when we set them as our destinations, well...

What now?

We romanticize reaching the top. We make ourselves struggle. We create this buildup that when we reach that bar... Every problem, every doubt, everything wrong or troubling in our lives will go away.

When we finally get there.

If we get there.

One day you may wake up and find it happened, the most quiet thing in the world, the buildup was everything. You don't know what to do with yourself. You did it! You made it! You're there! People say you're the greatest!

But are you satisfied?

A curious thing begins when this happens. You start to feel distressed. You wanted validation and you got it, but it's not enough. Trust me, it's never going to be enough. You feel uncertain, unsure of yourself. Still, you continue to hold on to dear life to this intangible source.

It's endless. You try so desperately to be told you did a good job, and the more they say it, the less you feel certain about anything anymore. It's okay to want things, it's okay to want things and be encouraged. It's wonderful to want a career but... It can't be just that. It can't be just them or this or that.

It's scary.

Truly terrifying.

We work so hard, try so hard, then we don't want to let go... No matter how much it's hurting us. Because deep down inside, we believe we need to suffer to be happy in the end. We believe we need to have dramatic moments and struggles to have a happy ending, and the only way we will get that is by anything else, anyone else but ourselves. We're afraid that if we let go for even a moment, we will fall and nobody will catch us. Just falling forever.

I want you to let go. I want you to know that you don't have to fall. You don't need to cry out in fear, or believe for a second that you are weak for doing that, because you are only going to go higher. Every day you are rising up.

It's alright to have goals.

It's alright to push yourself.

But true happiness and validation begins with you. I want you to care about what you have to say, to want what you want, to not feel selfish for believing you can be happy with you. Trust yourself, believe in yourself, and you will see...

What I have seen in you all along.

There are no limits to you, no matter what anyone has to say. You are always flying in my eyes, even if you don't see it in yourself. So please, be kind to you, have a goal. Don't let it ever be just the end. Let it be the first of many, and let it be only ever for you.

I know you can do it.

I know you can fly."